Contents
- 1 War!
- 2 Call for Help
- 3 Native Uprising in Drodo Colonies!
- 4 War is good for business
- 5 Offer of Asylum
- 6 Drodoian Residential Schools cause Controversy
- 7 Unknown aggressors!
- 8 Official Release from the Government of the Greater Hal'Sk Empire
- 9 Greetings from the Monoculus Empire!
- 10 Breaking News: Massacre at Galavasius
- 11 Hello?
- 12 Incoming Message
- 13 Four new species join the Farubaida
- 14 Anyone got a good deal?
- 15 Federal Election Results for Empire; Change of Government
- 16 Borealis open for colonization
- 17 And Thus Resumes the Fuck You Portion of Our Program
- 18 Victory in the Quadrants!
- 19 An Exciting Offer From the Imperium of Rael'nos
- 20 Declaration of independence!
- 21 The Kuipevar Federation seeks to make contact
- 22 New French colonies take markets by storm
- 23 Our condolences
- 24 Borealis: New Councillors
- 25 UNOC's Best Wishes
War![]
Imperial Rebellion[]
The Imperial State of Cyrannus promises to rid the universe of the Empire's imperialistic warmongering. When we are finished, the Gigaquadrant will be free from the insidious machinations of the Libertus and their puppet emperor. If you stand with us against this threat in the conflict to come, I assure you that civilised Cyrannians will never infringe upon the galactic sovereignty of its gigaquadrantic neighbours.
Today marks the beginning of the end of the Galactic Empire of Cyrannus. Will you join us in bringing true peace and order to Cyrannus?
Though we can't speak for the Imperial Libertus, the Libertus we came to know are quite the opposite of what you try to tell us.
From Mardvaeli is...Here you are claiming to be the liberators of people under control over a corrupted and imperialistic state yet you continue to behave in a xenophobic manner to the Libertus. If you were more tolerant then maybe something can be sorted but at the moment we just see you as another clone of the Empire. These are not the ideals of liberty or freedom I see here but instead ideals of xenophobia and hatred. We wish you could look to the truth of freedom like us and learn that everyone must stand together to defeat a common foe. Remember, you aren't the only ones you wish to see the defeat of the Empire.
Imperator Tyermaillin
I do not hate the Libertus people, for they will live peacefully under the new regime. However, their imperialistic government bent on forcing its will on all species will fall. Join us or do not, but don't stand in the way.
President Marton Grauscae speaking.
Pah, it's all pish posh to our ears. Maybe you don't hate the Libertus then but you seem like another tyrant in the making. And I especially distrust that Zillum dinosaur man or whatever he is, he's not an honourable character himself and the same goes for you. We would rather stand in the way of a dictator than let them oppress others. If it needs to be war so be it but by no means are we helping the Empire either. You will look back on this day with regret.
Zillum
Threaten all you wish, insects. You are no longer the benevolent galactic police like you were during the Intergalactic War. It has long been my desire to once again face you in combat after so long. May it be glorious.
Then war it is. We have no desire for your existence now you have left the Libertus. We will always be in our debt to them.
We regret that you have taken this move. We had good alliances with the Ottzellian members, but as for you Kralgon. We think of nothing.
Hmph. The past is irrelevant, Delpha Coalition. We think nothing of you now either, you may match us, but as far as we are concerned, you are either below us or irrelevant to us, in the grand scheme of things.
You know that if anyone helps one, it will give a huge impact on the output, what it will give. So that's what it's going to be about convincing us. We don't really care if it gives an huge impact on the relationship between us and you. Unless if you ask and convince to avoid helping said empire, superpower and etc.
Convince us good, or you will meet your enemy's new ally, if they succeed doing so.The Empire is one of the most expansive and powerful civilisations in the Gigaquadrant with colonies in every major galaxy. Ask yourself, whose side do you want to be on when the fighting concludes? The side of the reigning hyperpower? Or the side of the executed terrorists?
Imperator Tyermaillin
The Empire does not have true alliances. Their very civilisation is built on deceit and the manipulation of sovereign species and empires. We honour those who fight with us.
Sadly I have to take measures now. Information kindly provided by the Apalos forces me to suspend all studies of AI Netspace constructs around our borders by the Royal Academy. All foreign travel is now banned to those without level 4 passports. Non-citizens are to be taken to planets in the outer colonies. Acsess to the Andromeda and Bunsen colonies is now banned.
I also ask that the Draconid Imperium respond. This attack in addition to a formal deceleration of war by the Cyrannian Imperial State have you are bound by the Pax Draconica agreements with the Shellious of 2785 to take military action. If not, I can and will exercise my authority as Emperor of the Shellious Imperium and place all Shellious territories and Mathist-15 under full crown control of Shellis.Speaking for the Draconid Imperium's esteemed grand senate, this ultimatum will not be condoned nor does the emperor represent the consensus of the Grand Senate. We do however question the policy of isolation the government has enacted.
That sounds awfully close to the threat of rebellion, Emperor Edoshai. Be very sure of yourself before pursuing this path.
Statement of the Black Sun Holding CorporationSince they have protected us so faithfully, we must return the favour. Our military shall co-operate with the Imperial Cyrannian Navy in the quest of quelling this terrorist uprising. If the Cyrannian Empire falls, then order and prosperity itself will fall.
TIAF Intergalactic Channel - Lieutenant SamenorSpeak of unlimited resources when you control a galactic Empire, Ottzelloan scum. You are not our match.
Those who proudly cast aside the basic virtes of rationality and moral principle are no more supreme than any animal. Go ahead and revel in the upcoming consequences of this, for I shall enjoy observing.
Galactic?...Galactic?...Galactic?! PHAHAHAHA! You are all beneath me, welps. I will not reply any further, in order to keep myself sane.
The Ottzelloan Grimbolsaurians who shared dual nationalities with the previous United Nations of Ottzello have approximately one Norostagnian day to decide on their patriotic home. Should the USO begin aggressive actions in this time, they will no longer be able to return. Their choice is final. Those who choose to stay in the USO will be regarded as separatist. Any USO-orchestrated attacks on the Ottzelloan Grimbolsaurians who choose to return will be met with immediate retaliation. The re-patriotised Ottzelloan Grimbolsaurians will be sent to quarantine worlds to have all links back to the USO purged.
Our interests are still to respect the alliance with the Libertus; and indeed, their allies. Any attacks on the Galactic Empire of Cyrannus, or New Cyrannian Republic will be met with swift action from us. This does not include internal disputes of the Libertus.
Attacks on Station Halcyon or the The Cooperative, in any galaxy, will mean all-out war. Any disruptions to The Cooperative's projects shall dent relations with us, and we will impose appropriate sanctions and punishments.
The Imperial Senate thanks the Delpha Coalition for their strong show of support for the Empire. In the past, our predecessor governments aided the Coalition in their times of need and we are thankful that they are returning the favour. However, we would like to stress our concern over the potentially rogue elements in the Milky Way Cooperative that evidence suggests was behind the destruction of Halcyon-B. We recommend that our allies purge these shameful elements.
This'd make for a great drama, wouldn't it? What a story this would be! The pathetic Delpha Coalition of Nothing try to take the 'separatists' from USO when it is none of their business, and the great USO in turn CRUSHES THEM! Oh, I see it clearly now, I can't wait to come to your planets and ANNIHILATE THEM! Hahahahaha!
It is wise to know your enemy, clown. You clearly have no idea in predicting our actions. But when blow comes to blow, we know you will be hiding behind your unreliable chrono-technology more and more. Your fate will be that of the Dominatus. And by the way, our people will have no problem in killing the Ottzelloan Grimbolsaurians should need arises. They are no longer Grimbolsaurian, they are rebel. You think you are humiliating us? It only goes to prove our point.
Oh, this is SO exciting! The dialogue is great! I cannot WAIT for this turn of events! And they even know of the chrontech. The tension rises, and so does my EXCITEMENT! I'll see you on your worlds when I'm destroying them!
Any attacks and harm to GEC's worlds and Cooperative's stations and projects will result in a full-scale war. By any means will we destroy, neutralize and disarm any threats to us, GEC and Cooperative until they won't even able get back up by any means. This may dent relations with us, but oath is oath. And in our perspectives of the destruction of Halcyon-B, we see the Cyrannian Imperial State as the main plotters. But due to lack of proper evidences, we stay on our positions and hold ceasefire until any aggression from the State and their military company.
Our oath with the Cooperative is also to assist and protect the members from any threats with means to harm and destroy them. The also apply to DCP's oath to protect the New Cyrannian Republic.
Due to the USO's attitude and nature, actions will be taken to destroy or disactivate any ship of USO by any means. And to you, USO, we know that you are "super-powerful" with an "endless" supply of resources. But you'll be wasting your time and your manpower at us. Begone.Correct. We will be wasting our time destroying you. What is the fun in destruction if no one worth caring about is destroyed?
Sub-Commander - Raavii Ciihen
Well, it's up to you. See ya later in the battlefield. Also... do you want some tea while you watch your army thinning down until it's only you and your high "horse" remaining?
Ah, brilliant! Just brilliant! They ALL underestimate us! AHAHAHAHA! Oh but this will be SO dramatic when THEY ALL DIE! I can't contain my excitement any longer! In fact, I'M GOING TO GO DESTROY A FEW WORLDS NOW TO PROVE IT!!
Are you actually that stupid? No, no, don't answer that. I can already feel the waves of idiocy radiating from my comms every time you open your mouth.
You know what you remind me of? The slightly bigger kid in the yard who acts like they're in charge of everything, right up until the moment someone else walks up and kicks them in the balls. Let me tell you what's going to happen: You get up in everyone's face, they decide they're tired of you wagging your tongue, you die. Oh, and the rest of us get to laugh while you do.
On another topic, you really think blowing up a few planets actually means anything to these people? Fuck me you actually are dumber than a slag-rat.Oh, I'm sorry, what was that? I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF ALL THIS DESTRUCTION!
For heaven's sake Imelia, turn off Caps Lock.
NO! I'LL DESTROY EVERYTHING!
I have sympathy sister. It's my time of month too.
USO respects your decision to make this call, as it is understandably detrimental to your image. However, we still have interest in fighting for your side in this potential war.
Representing The Harc Alliance is Vice President Tandy
Representing The Harc Alliance is Vice President TandyCall for Help[]
To any living, sentient creature who might be receiving this call: My name is Xor Ansulgrid of the Yank.
I need help from an external race of creatures to make my people fix their ways of wrongdoing. My High Minister wants me to destroy anyone I might happen to meet; I disagree. I wish to make a revolution, to rebel against the brutal Ministry and make a successful, strong and liked Empire. If you wish to help, please do. We are in the Milky Way Galaxy.
Xor Ansulgrid, to anyone who might listen.
If you seek change, win it for yourself. Otherwise, your rebellion will be naught but a victory for others, with only you to bear the cost. Se'ka'ra Ma'tor'es.
Okay, first of all- I'm really excited to see that there indeed are other space-faring Empires, and even more that they actually answered my call.
Secondly, I appreciate your answers. I understand that simply calling for help and hoping someone would agree isn't that much of a good idea, especially if it comes from a tiny, unknown new Empire. But I do know that if there are other Empires, they probably have been through wars or are part of alliances. I want my Empire to understand the importance of such alliances, and the only way they will understand is power. If you can, can you at least give me ideas?
I have sixteen colonies against four, but the Ministry has weapons. Strong ones. I will start training my soldiers for now, and tell you if I succeed.
I hope to meet you again later, as part of a more peaceful and powerful Empire.
By the way, my Ministry cannot track these signals down. My spaceship is currently the only one who can send/receive interstellar signals, and I am the only person aboard while sending these messages. I already made up a cover story, and soon I will act.
Representing the Waptoria Alliance of Species is: {{{char}}}If you have sixteen colonies against four, then indeed guerilla warfare in the way you should go. Your foe has weapons: steal them, then use them against you. If the men and women under your command are loyal, then all the better. Have them go undercover. Kick up civil unrest, breach their security networks, cause deflections. The following is not really our style of batteling, but hey, since you say your race only understands power, and you have stolen enough weaponry, give them a taste of it. Don't start misseling them, as they will ten say you are the agressor. But once they start to act all agressive, show them you've got the bigger missiles. However, do not nuke cities or cause civilian losses, that's the worst mistake that can be made. Grief can be turned into hate, and hate easily into vengeance. So don't do that. But if everything goes all right, you've sabotaged them, there is unrest, and you've shown them you're the strongest of the two, then they'll realize its sixteen against four, alas, an hopeless battle for such priitive empires, and will give in.
Oh, and tell if you did suceed, if not, we ourselves will learn from it.Native Uprising in Drodo Colonies![]
Today there is breaking news coming out of the Capital World of the Drodo Colonies, New Arcadia; The local natives, a primitive bronze-age people, have recently attacked several villages and looted them for supplies and weapons.
"Aye, they where savage!" Says one colonist, Verikar Grissin.
"There musta been hundreds of'em, armed with swords, knives, even the occasional gun. I would of been a goner had it not have been for my hunting rifle."
Unfortunately, this isn't an isolated incident, there seems to be many border strikes conducted by several different native nations. Satellite images as well tell us that the natives, apparently numbering in the thousands, also intend to march upon major cities next.
"The military's taking the situation very seriously." Says Fleet Captain Cesterity, on a recent statement.
"We're taking every procaution to evacuate nearby villages to larger cities and further fortifying them with militias as well as cavalry and armoured vehicles. This uprising should be wiped out soon."
However, many are concerned about the larger implications this incident could have on relations between the two peoples in the future; Some have even considered the scenario in which the capital will have to be relocated due to stability issues.
This has been the Colonial News Network, signing off.
Ah yes, because torrential rainfall, thousands upon thousands of stinking corpses for miles around, land soaked and overflowing with blood and the screams and cries of the dying are all primetime entertainment. Great for the kids.
Clearly you've never babysat Avilian. The little guys are vicious when they're young.
We have received news that, after several days of fighting, the native uprising has been demolished. Drodo military and civilian casualties are 250, compared to the native casualties of around 20 000. The natives where halted at several major bridges where there was heavy fighting. After they managed to break though they arrived at the walls of Gallonia where the uprising was at last crushed by artillery, machine gun nests, and aircraft.
However, after this incident, governors, military leaders, and experts are divided on what the next course of action should be, with suggestions ranging from negotiations, to assimalation, to, most disturbingly of all, extermination.
This has been the Colonial News Network.War is good for business[]
Representing the Heer Stekeevel Confederation, Yustus Maritonius
And here we see the USO's elegant and subtle foreign policy at work; Beautiful, is it not?
Rest assured, Supreme Leader Xaltsa, that my people will remember the grace and good sense with which you treated us during this exchange, should we ever meet again.
I will probably forget you...WHEN WE HAVE CRUSHED YOUR EMPIRE UNDER OUR BOOTS AND DESTROYED YOUR WORLDS!!! HAHAHAHAH!!!!
I don't think its very good for business to tell your trade partner you will destroy them one day.
Agent - Z'jep
A fine example of a unfortunate victim those brain is reduced into the size of a pea as a side-effect of USO technology.
And I will reduce you to ash when I destroy your planet!
Template:Msg/Empire
Omnidrones, hm? These are more than impressive, but far out of our price range. Do the Tokzalan have anything more... mundane for sale?
Template:Msg/Empire
Tantalius also has agreements with other Andromeda and Quadrants-based industries who can provide all the industrial material you require.
Fighters and weapons, you say––and at a discount? Sir, the Quadrants will know of your generosity! I would be interested in looking at your wares––if you accept the Drodoian Colonial Dollar, of course.
Our business can happily accept the Drodoian Colonial Dollar. Therefore this is excellent news! Tantalius Manufacturing has an office in the capital of Aramis Prime, one of the colonies of the Draconid Imperium, perhaps we can show you our wares and discuss further arrangements there?
Offer of Asylum[]
1. You will obey the laws of our nation. There fairly straight forward. No murdering, no robbery etc. One particular note is that we have a massive ban on certain addictive narcotics. Better leave those behind just to be safe.
2. You will work. We will provide shelter and pay if you are willing to work. Any job is fine, but we really would like to get the refugees back on their feet.
3.All religions and beleifs are accepted within our borders provided that they do not violate basic laws (no sacrifice of sentient beings). You may practice what you will.
4.Any attempt by a foreign power to remove refugees without our consent will be viewed as a hostile incursion. That's not to say that we will let war criminals hide within our borders. You must notify us first so that we may effectivily collaborate.
5.Refugees may become Hegemony citizens provided they spend at least two years in the country and that they obey the basic rules of the Hegemony. Similarily, refugees may fight in the military if they want to. This will greatly reduce the time needed to become a citizen.
We hope that peace may soon be restored to the Gigaquadrant. Until then, we will take in the yearning masses who seek a safe isle from the storm.
Drodoian Residential Schools cause Controversy[]
Colonial News NetworkToday's top story comes from the recently-conquered Heer-Stevekel territories in the Quadrant Galaxies, after the decisively-won Heer-Stevekel War. The story itself centres around the controversial decision from the colonial government to instate Residential Schooling within the newly-aquired territory. Residential Schooling would entail students living within the school during the year, and the government states its purpose is to "Introduce pupils to the proper Drodo way of life", and to "make there goals and culture more compatible". Even with the plan in its early stages, many from inside the country and outside have already launched criticisms, including the illustrous Fleet Captain Cesterity.
"Hey, I had nothing to do with the descision, I'm the guy that directs troop movements." He stated when asked if he where a possible collaberator with the plan. He added;
"With that said, I disagree with the whole idea because its unnecessary; I've been to a lot of places and seen a lot of cultures weirder and more violent then the Heer-Stevekelese within my own country, what's so unique here?"
Despite the criticism, however, the plan has gained enough traction to be passed into law. The Residental Schools are expected to open in-full by next year.
This has been the Colonial News Network, signing off.
Unknown aggressors![]
Kindred Coalition
We too are under attack [scenes like this are shown but with more swarming and advanced technology]. Our fleets were preparing for the Neraida onslaught, not this. The enemy materialises in realspace in giant asteroids and dwarf planets *frightening visuals are shown of looming rocks and swarming creatures*, and seems to attack with no discrimination. Whatever they are, they are like an animal. On the ground even our best warriors and soldiers dropped down are immediately swallowed! Could they be the Neraida, or something-else? We have intercepted reports the Jovar are under attack as well.
Representing the Waptoria Alliance of Species is: {{{char}}}
Kindred Coalition
While a couple of our members disagree they need aid, we have reached a consensus that we will need the help in both defence and studying the creatures. ISF and Troodontid support is welcome.
Official Release from the Government of the Greater Hal'Sk Empire[]
Greetings nations of the Gigaquadrant at large, I am the new leader of the Greater Hal'Sk Empire, High Chancellor Tivor Giliak.
As you may or may not know, a week ago Emperor Rihak Hisan resigned from his position as Emperor, and also reformed our government, officially making us a democratic republic, shedding the last remnants of our horrible and authoritarian past.
All agreements the former government of the Greater Hal'Sk Empire had with nations are still in effect, although if you wish to revaluate them due to the changes made, please contact the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.
The travel restrictions previously enacted due to the change have been lifted, our borders are now reopened to outsiders.
May we have warm relations with all who desire so, and continue to walk the path of peace and prosperity, the path of liberty and freedom for all.
Representing the Drodo Empire, Premier Harponis
The house we will be meeting in
Greetings from the Monoculus Empire![]
This is Captain Qutex speaking, and I am here to announce the first ever MEETING OF ZEALOTS! This meeting only allows Zealots, but viewers are Welcome. 9 Zealots will be chosen to represent 9 Ideologies, each being a Break-off of the Main-stream Spode beliefs. The main Ideologies are the same as the other Archetypes, which are:
-Warrior
-Knight
-Scientist (Me, captian Qutex)
-Shaman
-Diplomat
-Wanderer
-Bard
-Trader
-and Ecologist
(We are ZEALOT'S, so we can't have a 10th Ideology.)
HOW TO JOIN THE MEETING:
1. Subscribe to my Sporecast, called "Entries for the Meeting", by Paladinluke
2. Make a Adventure explaning why you want a certian seat in the Meeting (Ex: Fight some Raiders if you are a Warrior, Plant trees for Ecologist, ect.)
3. Post it to the Sporecast
4. Wait
All members will be announced, and they will be Emailed. Everyone who enters will have their captain in the Mission, but will not have a Speaking part.\ The winners will get the Main seat The 3 runnerups will get a "Division Seat", reperesenting their Ideology and may have a Speaking part.
Yes, you can be my Division.
Allright, sign up today!
Representing the Drodo Empire, Fleet Captain Cesterity IsordonBreaking News: Massacre at Galavasius[]
Colonial News NetworkJust hours ago, there was a bloody incident people are starting to describe as nothing short of a massacre. At the Drodoian Provincial capital of Galavasius; Capital of the former Heer Stevekel territories in Drodoian space, a protest, organized mainly by Heer Stevekel intellectuals where peacefully protesting for independence after their annexation by the Drodo Empire several years ago in the plaza in front of the Governor's palace. The governor of the planet, Tyatar Gitterun called in military units several weeks into the protest to violently disperse the protesters. The army sent was divided about the inhumane orders given to them, and many mutinied, causing shootouts in the streets amongst mutineers and those loyal to the Gitterun regime, along with the mass-murders of panicked civilians by those loyal to Gitterun on their way to the plaza and main body of protesters.
Partway through the massacre, the Imperial Drodo Mounted Police stationed inside of the palace organized themselves and arrested the the governor under charges of Crimes against Sapient Life, mass murder, and severe abuses of power. These charges have yet to be processed.
Later, at the plaza, the remaining mutineers in the city made a valiant defense, but where killed to a man by the swarms of opponents facing them. From here, Gitterun's men opened fire on the body of protesters, who maintained their peaceful demeanor to the last. The troops would later stand down under the orders of the Colonial Government.
The estimated death toll of the disaster is 10 750, 750 of which are military casualties. Statements have already been released on the incident, including a statement by the ruling Premier of the Drodo Empire, Furrak Harponis, strongly denouncing Governor Gitterun's actions, and wishing the best for the Heer-Stevekel people, promising aid to them within the next month.
As it stands, this has been the bloodiest crackdown in the Drodo Empire's history.
This has been the Colonial News Network, signing off.
Representing the Drodo Empire, Premier Furrak HarponisHigh King Caecina, I would wish to make clear that me, nor does any of the Empire endorse any of the actions of this disaster, nor any of the perceived "injustices" taking place within the territories. As for the handover of territory, I would be open to such an offer but I do not hold absolute power, nor direct control over the colonies. The matter will be brought up in parliament.
Colonial News NetworkThis is a news update.
We have just recieved word that former Governor Gitterun, along with the regimental and divisional commanders that followed the horrific orders of that fateful day, have been sentenced. Gitterun was seen guilty of all charges and is sentenced to death by hanging, which will be carried out tomorrow.
The other commanders of the massacre have been charged with mass murder and crimes against sapient life and have all been dishonourably discharged and sentenced either with life imprisonments or death by firing squad; The executions will be carried out throughout the week.
This has been the Colonial News Network, signing off.
Hello?[]
Sorry if there is a bad connection. We've only recently established advanced communication as well as space travel, so if any connections are bad, it's probably us.
Hey there! We are new to this Empire game. We hope to find many allies out there. We love peace, but don't get us wrong; if you attack us, your ship will be space junk in a split second!
But hopefully this won't happen. We like allies, and there's a whole universe for them, right?
We're in the Norma-Outer Arm of the Milky Way galaxy. If you want to contact or even visit us, go there. Feel free to stop by!
End transmisson
The Farubaida o Caroha welcomes you to the Galactic Community.
http://spore.wikia.com/wiki/Fiction:Federation_of_Caroha
Incoming Message[]
Communications Channel of the Glorious Levisala Confederacy - Admiral Jaysmoth
To be honest, I'm surprised you know what a coconut is considering you're not from Earth. I'm even more surprised that you know what a coconut is considering you're from A DIFFERENT GALAXY ALTOGETHER.
Four new species join the Farubaida[]
Four new species have officially joined the Farubaida. The first, the Bozishnarod, are a race of dark yellow-skinned humanoids. They worship the Luonnontar, a non-interventionist God who views all sapients with disdain for their arrogance (according to their myths, all races were cast out of heaven for their arrogance). Their joining has sparked a large increase in polyamorous relationships that are the most common form among the Bozishnarod. The Council of the Outward Expanse has taken advantage of this event by helping these new polycules to colonize asteroids for the Farubaida.
The other three species, the Echmer, Hyu-ket, and Moru have a closely related history, shown in more detail here(this scholar explains these races better than we could come up with). http://www.reddit.com/r/teslore/comments/2m76jl/the_uutak_mythos_an_introductory_report_and/
The Farubaida officially welcomes these new species, especially since sapient life seems uncommon in this section of the galaxy.
Anyone got a good deal?[]
Well that depends. I can grant you an ultra-deathlaser of doom. Or I can give you 3 vials of experimental deathlight to augment yourself with. Whaddya say?!
Shut up X-30. We won't give away Deathlight to the populace and you should know that.
Federal Election Results for Empire; Change of Government[]
The Imperial News NetworkIn a landslide vote, the Aristocratic Party has won the federal election in the Drodo Empire. Headed by the Archduke Fiihar Jivirik III, this new conservative government plans to fulfill its earlier promises of stablizing the economy, cutting ties with the French, and restoring dignity to the Empire after its embarrassing defeat in the Xonexi war.
"I cannot stand to see my people be humiliated in such a way, to be exploited, by our newfound foe, France!" He passionately said in a previous speech.
"This foolish war with the Delpha Coalition puts the entire Drodo race on the brink of extinction, and it would not have happened had it not been for France. We as a people must look after ourselves, and look after our own." He continued.
Such a campaign platform, which would've been inconceivable just months before, finds its footing in the Empire's current situation; Economically destitute, with a disillusioned, exhausted populace. Such big promises and fundemental changes the Archduke implies have worried some political experts, but results remain to be seen.
This has been the Imperial News Network.
Borealis open for colonization[]
The councillors of the Polar Crystal Alliance would like to inform that we would like to offer the chance of new extragalactic colonization in the Borealis Galaxy. In the first decade of our new age, previous threats to colonization such as space pirates have been eradicated and the galaxy is experiencing a new age of peace and prosperity. We are always looking for new allies and would be more than glad to help you settle in, and likewise, if you have no ill intentions, you are more than welcome to enter the Alliance's borders and visit the galactic capital of Hyperborea.
Borealis is still taking baby steps to interact with extragalactics, but we assure, we have no intention of remain isolated. For a prosperous future for all of us.
The Republic is more than welcome to take residence in our galaxy. Feel free.
Go ahead. Welcome to the galaxy.
Thank you. We hope to be of use to your galactic kin.
Template:Msg/Vanara Houses
And Thus Resumes the Fuck You Portion of Our Program[]
Anyways, he's at least partially back now, so everyone thank your lucky stars that the magical version of the borg is once again winning souls as property for a glowy fuck all while secretly plotting to vaguely someday overthrow the Draconis Imperium for that and no other reason and despite its every other property. Oops, did I say that out loud? No. No I did not. I typed it.
Anyways, unless I've been looking at the wrong parts of the wiki and getting old news, it seems that the DCP is at war with a bunch of other people. I love how the page on that says oblivion will meet whoever fails, as though the DCP or most of the empires opposing them are ever actually going to be killed off.
In other news, most of the major empires seem exactly the same, save for a few who have gotten worse. Because we're dealing with a bunch of teenagers and when you're a teenager, grimdark=good. I can feel the edge leaking out from every drop of innocent blood. I think that's why they're bleeding in the first place. They cut themselves on all that edge.
Anyways, it's good to be back. Anticipate my snark for the rest of the university semester and then re-activation of the Aeoneonatrix starting around May irl time, accompanied by extensive retcons to both common practices and backstory. People complaining that any and all new changes to the Aeoneonatrix make them unsuitable allies for the fictions that the old version fought along with may submit all complaints to someone who gives a shit.
(AN: Remember that all disparaging comments made about the community by Riffrex are part of his character. The staff here are impressive for tolerating me long enough for me to leave of my own accord, though my creative differences with AB will still probably lead me to move to another sector. No hard feelings, I just prefer the way I do things to the way he does.)
For some reason, Rifflex, are you sure you haven't got a split personality disorder? In that case, you should see a doctor. Half of the time you seem to think you are someone else, one that our groupmind catagorizes as "Aeoneonatrix". The fact that one names him- or herself after a species is quite ridiculous. It's almost as bad as someone naming mih- or herself "Ecoraptor". I mean, what's that suppodes to mean? Someone who steals nature? That's against everthing we of the Waptoria strive for!
Now for some reason, I feel like I need to defend someone - or two - from certain charges. People I don't really know...wait. I should see a doctor too.
So..."Grimdark". Is that meant to stand in opposition to "noblebright" or what? Doesn't make any sense. "Grim-Dark". It's like even more dark than dark. Ah...Whatever. What was I going to do again? Defending...someone? Ah, yes, that. There seems to be an increase in grimdarkness indeed. But those are mainly newcomers, and it's not like there always has been some grimdarkness around here. So, then, who am I trying to defend? I myself have no idea. Well, then, why in the Mirus Galaxy am I writing his? No idea. There must be greater forces at work here. Wait...That stupid. Ugh...Anyhow, those few that seem to have gotten worse...pretty certain it doesn't include the empire I am part of. We're still trying to safe nature and all though we're getting a greater focus on communism...wich always have been there. Wait...that's a paradox. But on to the Imperium of War. The Imperium of War? Do you seriousely expect those warmongers to ever change? No, their simple, all-driving motive is much to loved for that. And - Wait a minute, everyone hates them! So why would eveyone love the fact they spread random war everywhere? Can anybody explain how that is possible!? Am I starting to see things or what!?
Ok, calm down...calm down. You're not going mad. So...Do you perhaps mean the UAE? If so, you don't seem to know the word "grimdark". You see the UAE massacring helpless civilians and wiping out alien races just because? No! Grimdrk is bad! Grimdark is ugly! Grimdark is everything we of teh UAE fight against! The Drakodominatus Tyranny, that is one hell of a grimdark empire! Whetever "Grimdark" elements ther are in the UAE will never play a role that is too large. After all, the UAE is a shared alliance, and we'll always put our own empires before something shared, right? And that's loathsome! If we ever want to get things in this universe to get right, we have to work together! Ahem- sorry for my little outburst. I'm also not sure where exactly you got that "teenager" thing from. You must have your age categories wrong.
Heh. This was entertaining. And the snark was good as always.
We'll see what happens to the Aeoneonatrix. Their increased zealotry also made us more increasingly worried wenever or not we should stay allied. Then they suddenly returned and we were a bit ecstatic. We'll see where it goes and revise any eventual changes in relationships then. Just don't keep your hope up that the Imperium of War will siddenly get a liking for you. They'll probaly use it as an euse to renew theit war with you - if they haven't already after your return - wich was quite unexpected, I must say.
You will also have noticed my type of writing has changed. Probably because I have changed as well...matured, you could say. And also bacause my autocorrect doesn't seem to work anymore, so blame that. I try to fix what I can. See...nearly wrote "fiw". And of course, as I'm over a hundred years old, I don't see why a few years would matter. For humans, though, it could mean a lot in terms of change. This...AB you speak of also has changed in the same way. Like me, became far less bossy. don't expect the things that happened to happen now. We moved on beyond that. Things changed, I always stayed supportive about you even after you left even though that feeling could have been not mutual because I'm generally bad when it comes to knowing who likes me and who does not, I deeply regretted Ameius becoming non-canon and hope he won't be soon, Mirus is open to everyone and we would love to have you aboard, AB is now known as Charles Murray, no I have no idea if that's hs true name or not, and whatever else I can come up with.
Have a good day, Rifflex, and happy snarking.
AN: Likewise.)
Victory in the Quadrants![]
The Imperial News NetworkVictory in the Quadrants!
After a hard-fought war, our brave men, under the masterful command of our new Premier, Archduke Fiihar Jivirik III, has vanquished our foes, the Heer Stekeveel once and for all!
Press coverage was heavy in the event, capturing every victory Imperial forces made against the foe. While the war lasted several months, starting with a revolt of Heer Stekeveel peasants, the Drodoian counterattack took only 48 hours to completely destroy both the upstart rebellion and the nation that dared to support them.
The former territories are now ruled by a newly-established autonomous zone, under the command of the Premier's youngest son, Margrave Kirvan Jivirik. We at the Imperial News Network would like to personally congradulate all involved, and wish the young Margrave the best of luck in running his new nation.
This has been the Imperial News Network.
An Exciting Offer From the Imperium of Rael'nos[]
Shiyonoids are genetically engineered by advanced Andromedan technology unmatched by anyone else in the gigaquadrant, designed by advanced scientists to perform, and love to perform any and all functions you desire. Need a house servant? This green-feathered gal will wait on your every whim. Need someone cheaper than a wage worker for that boring office work? This short little guy will perform perfectly to your data-entry needs, and love it as much as your workers hate it. Want someone strong to run your factories? This black-feathered powerhouse will obediently and competently lift up to 600 kilograms! Want someone sexy to warm your bed at night? This blue boy here is dying to be that someone.
Because all Shiyonoids are lab-grown with preselected characteristics, they come pre-programmed with all the knowledge, skill, and obedience they’ll need to perform as your obedient servants. Shiyonoids need no training, no discipline, and no punishment. They will never disobey. They will never rebel against you.
Even better, those with ethical objections to the slave trade, all Shiyonoids are designed to be ideally suited not only to contentment, but to genuine fulfillment with a life working for you! Don’t believe us? Feel free to scan their brains while performing their work, and watch the pleasure centers light up! Even the KSRO, abolitionists if there ever were any, is on record approving of the use of the Shiyozai’s technology.
But wait, there’s more! Order in the next 100 hours and get one free Shiyonoidizer brain machine for every three Shiyoni you order! Instill the wondrous properties of the Shiyonoids on every slave you own! Plus, if you buy in bulk, you’ll get an extra 100 Shiyonoids of any preset model free for every 1,000 you buy! The best deal in the gigaquadrant on the best slaves in the gigaquadrant!
Don’t delay. Call us now to order up to one-hundred-million of any of our level one default model Shiyonoids for the low low price of just 250 Credits a unit! That’s right! Just 250!
And that’s not all. We’re so confident in our product that if you find any defect in any of our Shiyonoids, we’ll send you your money back along with three similarly priced Shiyonoid or non-Shiyonoid units on offer! Don’t delay! Buy now and own one of the best products in the gigaquadrant.
Must be 18 or older or older. Prices will vary based on model.
Absolutely! We'll be able to ship any quantity over as soon as you acquired the necessary legal approval. We would like to assure the KSA, if they are reading this, that we are more than capable of creating organisms who would not be at all bothered by the Mardor's recreational activities, and, if the ownership of laborers is too unsettling, you could allow the Mardor to set up a system of voluntary contracts similar to the one the Shiyozai Republic originally used. Under such a system, they would be able to choose their employers and leave their service constrained only by whatever restrictions you choose to put in place.
I'm afraid we're going to have to cancel that order on behalf of our Federation's member state. Your order stands in violation of at least half a dozen international agreements, from the Treaty on Artificial Intelligences and Organisms to the Declaration on the Universal Rights of Sentients, as well as KSA Security Council Resolution #102B: Resolution on the Recognition of the Transfer of the Occupation of the Mardor Empire Mandate. All of which were signed by High King Razorscare himself of his own free will.
Should you choose to ignore our laws, your transporters must past through some of our most heavily patrolled space. Should they be caught within the space of the Farengeto Trade Coalition's Trade Council they face numerous charges including but not limited to: smuggling, possession of illegal artificial entities, sentient trafficking, slavery, illegal immigration, illegal entry, and sedition.
If you have not been sufficiently dissuaded, this covers only the the territory of the Farengeto Trade Coalition Trade Council, and should you wish to visit our sector the only safe and prqctical routes under 50,000 light years involve passing through fortified Katarian wormholes and the heart of FTC and KSA space.
And to those in Rael'nos who stopped listening after my first sentence, if you attempt to deliver your slaves you will be arrested and imprisoned, with all ships and cargo fined and confiscated with no compensation the moment you violate trade council space.Well, you are quite the melodramatic one. All he did was ask for your approval. Also, of his own free will? As if you would have just let them be if he hadn't signed it. I'm willing to bet he signed it with a gun to his head, perhaps metaphorical, perhaps not.
As the Son of the Great High King you mentioned, I beg you to reconsider. Imagine if you were starving, absolutely starving. Someone had, through bionics, arranged that you could live as long as you wanted without food, but ensured that the hunger would hurt you just as much as it otherwise would. Now imagine that you went from being surrounded by plenty to having nothing. For ten years, we have not eaten. It pains us. We need to do what we do, not physically, but psychologically. Barring your laws, made without knowledge of this possibility and worded broadly as a result, what real objection could be had to allowing us to finally eat... just a little bit? Please?
TIAF Intergalactic Channel - Ambassador Olivia LorrelasThe Federation will not permit vessels that are participating in the trade or transport of Shiyonoid slaves to travel through TIAF space or utilize TIAF hyperlanes, and any vessel caught violating this ban will be subject to search, seizure, and detainment, regardless of nationality. This order extends not only to TIAF Andromeda and the Bunsen Galaxy but also to all territories in the TIAF intergalactic commonwealth. While we will respect free trade in international space and limit our embargo to our own territory, do not expect your trade to be welcome within our borders.
Ah, but it is not slavery if you do not want it to be. You pay us and we send them to you. If you want us to free them, then ask them to go to you, where they will be legally equal citizens, you may. Because they obey, it will work out, they will go to you, and they will, of their own free will, work for your citizenry under whatever circumstances you request, or, if you do not request any, under whatever circumstances you seem to them to desire. If that means what the Shiyozai Republic, from whom we acquired this technology, did, that is, buy and sell licences to their labor and not them themselves, that is fine. If it means them simply finding people willing to feed or pay them in exchange for whatever they want to do, fine. It can be as moral as you want to make it.
Representing the Imperium of War is: {{{char}}}Imperial Ministry of CommerceIn the view of the Imperial Parliament, the Ministry of Commerce and most importantly the Sapient Rights Act these lifeforms are considered slaves; As they are sapient lifeforms who are forced to serve a master without pay or with pay below the minimum wage.
Furthermore, Parliament finds the concept of genetically-engineering sapient life to do your bidding morally objectionable.
Any persons who are caught shipping or distributing such lifeforms into or out of the empire will have their ships, cargo, and assets seized and be imprisoned for up to twenty years.
Any persons who are caught owning or using such a lifeform will have said lifeform seized from their possession, and be sentenced up to twenty years.
Any such person who is seen to have assaulted, abused, or murdered such a lifeform will be charged with a sentence that can include the death penalty by hanging.
Any such lifeforms that are seized in such ways will be granted Drodoian citizenship and be allowed to live within its borders.
Be warned that foreigners caught performing these acts will be sentenced just as a Drodo citizen would be, and will not be returned to their homeland until they have served the duration of their sentence.
Consider all who would attempt to bring this trade into Imperial borders duly warned.
Any personnel caught owning such servants within any sector of the Kingdom of Agethime will be forcefully ejected from our territory, and will even suffer imprisonment should they commit acts of violence against their respective servants.
And besides, 250 credits for each servant? We don't exactly understand currency, but that seems insultingly low.
Declaration of independence![]
Eight hundred and sixty-four years ago, France faced a dark period in its history. Defeated, occupied, it was brought low by a cruel enemy. Foreign soldiers were in our homes, in our government buildings, making our laws and dictating our fate. This is not unlike the crisis we face today.
In this dark time of eight hundred and sixty-four years ago, a man named General Charles de Gaulle was ordered to stand down, to surrender to the enemy. He didn’t. He could have gone into hiding, waited for the war to end, but Charles de Gaulle was a great man. From the city of London across the water, he spoke to the French people. “France is not alone,” he swore to them. “France is not alone! Has the last word been said? Must hope disappear? Is defeat final? No!”
Today, the iron hand of the DCP is dictating our destiny. Today, France is not free, France is not safe –– but she is not alone. Do you hear me? FRANCE IS NOT ALONE!
France still has allies and an empire which has lain dormant for months, conserving its strength. No more! Now is the time to act. Now is the time to undo the damage that has been done, do the things which have been deemed impossible, and win the war which has been deemed unwinnable.
As of this moment, I declare the French colonies of Andromeda, the Quadrants, Mirus, and Bunsen free of any obligation to our occupiers. As of this moment, we are free, and we are coming back. One day, our soldiers will set foot again in the Milky Way, and that day will sound the death knell of the evil which has ruled our galaxy for so long. On that day, we will return to our homes and families, our wives and mothers, our sisters and brothers. This, in the name of the French people, I solemnly swear.
To the Gigaquadrant, our friends and foes alike, our message is simple.
First Minister of the Allied Provices of Cerima: Yes, let's mock a rising superpower that possibly has the power to kill us all with an Earthian comic book. Nothing could ever possibly go wrong.
Representative of Kelpogart: Brogurt, you're also doin' the same to that folk. Your argument is invalid.
His Kingness King Omork from the Kingdom of Omork: As much as I hate saying this, I agree with Kelpogart.
*A violent argument starts and the Vice Representative from the Ussarian Federation shuts down the feed*Alright, I'm being serious here, so I'm going to say this as politely as possible. You need to darken either your background color or your text color. As of now, they are so bright that they physically hurt to look at and cannot possibly be read.
A brief tip regarding visual design: very bright colors touching each other are usually bad. With text in particular, the color of the text and the background should be at very different levels of brightness. If they're both too dark, you won't be able to see one from the other, and if they're both too bright, it will be hard to read the specific shapes of the letters and the text will be painful to look at.
Representative of Kelpogart: Aw, but gold text is fun!... Fine, changed.
Oh quiet down. America hasn't even reached beyond Sol.
Um, POTATO much? Here, let me spell it out for ya. Lol Linkz. It will get even better after my hostile take over, which is a total secret and so well plotted out, that you would need 10 brains to figure out my magnificent plan. They don't even know I'm after their government yet. It's what happens when your a genius such as I.
Uh. *Cough*
The Kuipevar Federation seeks to make contact[]
Um.. Hello? If any E.Ts. get this message, we are the Kuipevar Federation, a small empire located in the Andromeda Galaxy. I'm not entirely sure how to operate this transmitter, but if you have any questions, feel free to ask.
Osmann Reuvar signing out.
Actually I do. What was the point of this, again?
We are a new nation to this universe and decided to contact extraterrestrials instead of waiting for them to contact us. Can you fill us in on the political scene of Andromeda?
I contacted the Commonwealth but they haven't responded. Who are the Xhodocto anyway?
In answer yo your question however. The Dominion is a power to be avoided, for there is nothing pleasant to say of the inhabitants or their empire.
I may be interested in joining the Commonwealth, but would like to view a "charter" that gives information on the Commonwealth's constitution, laws, and ideologies. Also, may I view a map of the sectors of Andromeda? We already have mapped the galaxy via our radio telescopes, but we know nothing about the regions and politics of Andromeda.
New French colonies take markets by storm[]
ALEXANDRIE, OTZELLO SECTOR — Far from the active fighting in Andromeda and Mirus, French colonial efforts in Borealis are partaking in a wholly different aspect of the Great Xonexian Schism: the war for resources. On both sides of the conflict, andasium is a precious source of fuel which has become especially scarce. The lucratively high price of Andasium is what brought a whole host of Xonexi corporations to Borealis, forming conglomerates which have applied for charter colony status under the constitution of the French Colonial Empire.
One of these, the Outer Ottzello Trading Company, is responsible for the founding of Alexandria, France's second charter colony and its most successful to date. Compared to other industrial capitals, Alexandria's three spaceports, unimpressive skyline, and smoggy exterior do not seem like much, but Valiant Guimond, Chairman of the Outer Ottzello Trading Company's development committee, is very optimistic. The forty-three year old French-South African colonist, veteran of the Galactican colonial experiment, had accepted to be interviewed inside his office inside the Trident Tower, one of Alexiandria's few skyscrapers.
"We're sitting right between two protostellar currents, you see?" he explained. "Andasium is most plentiful on the outskirts of galaxies because that's where the largest currents of this protostellar gas is. Basically, it's the motherload out here."
The French Colonial Empire implemented the system of "charter colonies" in 2803 in order to encourage companies to found resource-gathering operations for it in other galaxies in exchange for diplomatic and military protection.
"It's a good deal for everyone involved," Guimond said, prying open cashews with burly hands as he spoke. "The colony gets mining claims, investors reap the profits, France gets is resources, and we're forced to pay workers a lot because labor is scarce out here."
Indeed, the colony has attracted waves of immigrants, most of them refugees who fled Orion's Spur ahead of DCP armies. However, the influx of labor has not kept pace with demand, and fierce competition between firms inside the colony has resulted in a healthy job market craving for skilled workers. Chairman Guimond eagerly looks forward to the colony's future growth, and many who hold stock in the company in the Araveenian and Galactican stock markets agree with him. There, the company's shares are priced at 
57.56 and 
1054.94 respectively, and the company is preparing to issue more stock next month.
yor bred tastes nice tho
The main reason Borealis is so rich on andasium is because it's such a fucked up place nobody wants to set their foot there. We, for example, are okay producers of andasium and seek to improve the ammount we mine, but we'd never go to Borealis. I don't fancy becomming Loron dessert, myself.
We will not protect you from the Loron, the criminals on the outskirts of Ottzello, or anyone in the Borealis Galaxy. It is a safer place than it was when we found it, but I cannot say that of our sector. We will not trade with you, as it directly contradicts our alliance with the DCP. And we will grant you permission to colonise only a few areas; should we choose a spot to colonise, you will not cross.
Failure to adhere this warnings, and you shall be destroyed. We will not declare war upon you, we will fire without warning, and we will not leave survivors. If you do, however, comply with the above terms, you may help your petty cause all you please, of course.Regardless of the policies that the Unified Nation of Ottzello have controversially implemented, and something that I as a Councillor does not condone, I do welcome French influence on my own behalf. But the Empeor does speak true words. We cannot offer aid as the Polar Crystal Alliance is not politically acquainted with you.
Kralgon Emperor, the rumors were right. You are an asshole. But I agree with the trade thing.
Our condolences[]
SHUT UP IMMA SHANK YA DAD AN THRALOY IS STILL MAD DAT YOO LOSAS KILLED DALVERAT AN HES GONNA TAKE IT OUT ON YOO WEN I GET MA HANDS ON YOO LOSAS BTW WE DONT RELLY CARE ABOUT DA LOSS OF DAT GEEZA CUS DA DRACS IS TRAITAS NAO
As consort to His Esteemed Majesty, I swear that through mutual respect for the valiance of our soldiers, and for the courage Lord-Admiral Vontarion displayed in his final hours, the Grand Senate and the house of the royal family shall endeavour to repair what conections may have been frayed at the onset of war. This conflict between us was not of a personal nature. And whatever the outcome, may I hope that the victors are just and rational in the aftermath of this conflict.
Borealis: New Councillors[]
Borealis Allied News After much speculation through the ranks of the diplomats who current call the space station of Hyperborea home, the Polar Crystal Council of the Polar Crystal Alliance has finally revealed its two newest members: the Civitas and the Rovegar Matriarchy, represented by diplomats Augustex and Nayanur respectively.
The Civitas are widely popular among the ranks of the Alliance, especially among the likes of the Niaka due to their great presence in the Alliance's conjoined military and the Aegis Guard police force which ensures Hyperborea's protection. Meanwhile, the Rovegar are well known for having spread across Alliance space, sharing their economical, cultural and military power through it as well as making themselves notable for their greatly advanced technology, which may say rivals and in some cases surpasses that of the local powerhouse, the Zoles Imperium.
The voting for the membership of the Civitas in the Council was unanimously positive, with all five councillors agreeing on it. In the case of the Rovegar, however, councillors Xeron and Kithworto displayed negative thoughts on the matter and opposed the idea, but the Matriarchy was eventually accepted due to councillors Semirian, Valzaria and Rhylarien giving them positive votes, leading to a 3 versus 2. While most councillors refused to be interviewed, Councillor Xeron made his argument public on his own irreverent and well known informal manner: "This was a dark day for the Council since they seem to approve of snakes in our board just because they look pretty enough! They can't be trusted, I'm telling you! They're hiding something from us!". While many assumed this would lead to complications between the Matriarchy and the Niaka Special Forces, the Rovegar government shrugged the councillors' words off while claiming to "have since grown used to his mannerisms around our kind".
This was Borealis Allied News, taking the hottest and most important manners to all of the Alliance and its allies.
NOT DAT DIS CHANGES DA FACT I WANNA KILL AOO OF YAS
Are you quite done yet, Loron?
YOO WILL BE DONE WEN I SHANK YA DAD
UNOC's Best Wishes[]
This was a process that involved simply the wipe of nanomachines from her body, and a few important, top secret memories, but she is now given the freedom she has been craving for a long while. Kalcedia was loved by her troops, and the loss of her and Dalverat shall prompt us to restructure the Commandos and find those who may only be the best of the best to fill their shoes. But more importantly, we wish Kalcedia the very best on her adventures and we hope that whatever community in the Gigaquadrant she joins will make her feel welcome.
BUT IVE NOT KILLED HER YET. YA BETTA NOT USE DIS AS AN EXCOOS TA HIDE FROM ME, KALCEDIA. I WILL FIND YOO AN I WILL BEET YOO