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Dancewithdevil Icon Ice Age is a Historical Event
"Ice Age" is considered a historical event or a completed fiction within the SporeWiki Fiction Universe. You must ask its original creator if you wish to add any additional stories.


This is Year Two of the Ice Age.

Penumbra Comes[]

Commandant Vekaron had been called to present himself to the Polar Crystal Council. Apparently, they had prepared something special for him. Vekaron tried to get Rebaris to tell him what he was, but the Zoles king was just as curious as him.

Arriving at the tower of the Council, he was elevated to their level by a platform. Around them, the lights were dim, and no other people were present. The tower was normally a public place, but not today. As he arrived at the top, Vekaron also noticed Arkarixus was present with the Council.

Arkarixus - Welcome, Vekaron. It's good to see you arrived in time.
Vekaron - Hey there! How's things?
Arkarixus - We can chat later. Right now, there are important things to be discussed.

Vekaron nodded and remained silent. The councillors got up from their chair and approached him.

Semirian - We have discussed for over a month now the possibility of a special force under the banner of the Alliance. This force would answer to no one but the Council and its Warmaster, being regarded as individuals above the law and rulers of all members.
Valzaria - This force is not one of random war. It is a force of order, an extension of the Council and the Alliance, who solves problems and preserves galactic stability by whenever means necessary, be it peace or violence.
Xeron - It is a force with the power of life and death over the inhabitants of the galaxy. One who brings light upon order, and shadow upon disorder. The Penumbra Unit.

The councillors all pointed at Vekaron.

Semirian - Commandant, we give you this opportunity. You are invited to be the first and founder of the Penumbra Unit, the right hand of the Polar Crystal Council. The first of a few chosen to serve the Alliance at its fullest. You may retain your title of Commandant if you so wish, but you shall be above the laws of the Imperium. To end all disorder, there will be nothing in your way.

Vekaron was gotten by surprise by the proposal. He stood silent, nervous, looking at the councillors. It was unlike him to accept being above laws when he had followed them for so long. But then, he noticed someone was watching the meeting. It was King Rebaris himself, who looked at Vekaron with a smile and nodded at him.

Vekaron, upon seeing this, nodded back and looked back at the Council.

Vekaron - It is an honour. I accept.

The councillors all smiled, and the lights turned on. Arkarixus invited Vekaron over to them, where they shook hands, and then left together to discuss Vekaron's first assignment. Rebaris only watched from a distance.

Rebaris - I'm proud of you, kid.

Butcher's Knife[]

Kivarog woke up. He found himself in a dark room with almost no light. Somehow it didn't feel like there was much space in here. The feeling of claustrophobia hit Kivarog; Wranploer normally don't suffer such kinds of fears, but there was something about this place he just didn't like. Then a voice, which would be the equivalent of a cockney accent to a Wranploer, spoke to Kivarob.

??? - Why hello, there! Welcome!
Kivarog - Who's there? Where am I?

A few lights turned on. Kivarob saw the room more clearly; the floors, the ceiling, the walls, were all blood stained. But he still couldn't see clearly. He now realised he was laying down, and stuck to some kind of bench. The voice laughed.

??? - Naw, that don't matter jus' yet. Got a few questions fer ya, if ya don't mind asking. If ya do though, well, I might jus' have to do somethin' about that.
Kivarog - Hmpf...I don't really have a choice, do I? Right, I'm listening.

Footsteps approached. And Kivarog could make the outlines of an incredibly fat Wranploer.

??? - You're a top psychologist, right? Ya worked fer Volim an' Zaarkhun, right? You 'ave extensive knowledge on their thought patterns, right? An' you can most importantly tell me a lot about 'em...right?
Kivarog - Depends. What do you want to know?
??? - Hmm...rather a lot. Heheheh...

Kivarog sighed.

Kivarog - Okay, how should I begin?

A few more lights came on. Corpses on the floor, of both animal and Wranploer. Cut off limbs around this fat Wranploer. Broken saw blades. Kivarog narrowed his eyes, slighty disgusted. The fat Wranpleor closed in on Kivarog, getting ever so slightly closer.

??? - You should begin by tellin' me everythin' you know about Volim. How's his mind work? Average day, what's he finkin' of?
Kivarog - Average day? You call yourself a Wranploer? We all know how the old general acted. He was authoritarian, aggressive, brutish, but still vile, calculating and intelligent. He feared no one. When he was not ordering Zoles to be slaughtered, he was thinking of new ways of how to slaughter Zoles.

The voice seemed to chuckle at the word 'slaughter'...

??? - Now tell me...Volim's thought processing...I mean, 'ow long'd it take him to process an idea, like, solving a problem or so? Could he think, well, quickly?
Kivarog - Problem solving? Volim was a bit of a bonehead. He'd rather punch first and ask after.

More lights turned on. Corpses, skeletons, bones, everything bloodied. This Wranploer seemed to be pulling out a butcher's knife...and playing with it. Just how psychotic was this person? Kivarog shook his head and frowned at all the carnage around him.

??? - An' that Zaarkhun...'ow 'bout him?
Kivarog - Zaarkhun was more about brains than brawl. He was the opposite of Volim. Collected, quick thinker, manipulating. Whenever he got a chance to exploit something, he'd do it.
'??? - Ow fast would you say his brain processed in Trynims measurement...bearing in mind the average is 2.5 trynims per second?
Kivarog - What...how can you know something like this and still have this room full of dead, rotting carcasses?

The Wranploer seemed more frustrated. He got closer, and raised his butcher's knife to Kivarog...and was now threatening.

'??? - Ow'd you like yours to be one of 'em?
Kivarog - Hmpf...his brain processed at 4.1 trynims per second.
??? - That's about right, ain't it? There's a good chap! Now...hmm...how probable would you say it was to, say...replicate a Heeyorian thought pattern in a machine?
Kivarog - What? That's crazy talk! You cannot replicate this many trynims!

It wasn't a butcher's knife that closed on Kivarog's neck, this time. It was a buzz saw. And it sounded like it was working. The Wranploer was laughing.

??? - I'll repeat me question. Has it ever been done? Can it be done?
Kivarog - It has not, and it cannot! It's not possible with our current technology!

The Wranploer seemed to grow both frustrated and excited at the same time.

??? - Well, guess you can be useful in another way...what would you say Zaarkhun's average thoughts were? Like...what was his greatest desire, that kinda thing? He wasn't really selfish, was he?
Kivarog - His greatest desire was a anarchy ruled by an ultimate ruler where the strong dominate the weak, and are free from gods and things like that.
??? - Yeah, he had 'is admirations. He was a great man...problem is...

The Wranploer stepped into the light more. Now his bloodied, almost messed up face was more visible, along with the evil grin on his face.

??? - I ain't no great man.

The Wranploer's blades now cut into Kivarog's right arm, making him scream in pain. The screeching of metal against the bone was almsot as painful as the cutting itself. But the Wranploer simply kept cutting. Slowly, painfully, Kivarog was eaten alive. In the last few seconds of his life, as he bled to death, he now knew where he was; the slaughterhouse.

Obsession[]

At the Vorius Remnant, the warlord's trusted soldier Roykor knocked on his door to inform him of how his remannt was growing fast. The remnant was on a campaign of murdering rival warlords and assimilating their territories into their own, and with Vorius' remnant having quality technology and powerful soldiers, that was rather easy. Many minutes passed, however, but Vorius did not answer to Roykor's knocks. The soldier thought. Vorius had been acting weird for a while now. It was then that Vorius finally answered the door.

Vorius - ...Roykor.
Roykor - Ah, there you are, sir. What took you so long?
Vorius - I was busy with something. What do you want?
Roykor - Just wanna report you of our progress.

Roykor showed Vorius a holographic map showing their remnant's previous and current size.

Roykor - As you can see, sir, it's only been a few months but we've culled down a lot of enemy warlords and took over their planets. We're getting respected and feared across this region.
Vorius - I see.
Roykor - There is one problem though.

Roykor pointed at another part of the map, showing another very large territory.

Roykor - Turns out Captain Torrent is still alive and wants to dominate our race. I for one ain't getting told what to do by an alien, even if he was buddies with the Old General. So me and the other commanders are planning to take him down once we get the chance.
Vorius - Hm.

Vorius had an indifferent expresssion through the entire conversation. It felt like he was not even listening to what Roykor was saying.

Roykor - ...Boss? Are you even listening?
Vorius - Yes. Thank you for the report. Now leave.

And with this, Vorius closed and locked his doors again, leaving Roykor confused and frustrated. Vorius returned to his throne, and took the shard of Regnatus on his grasp, a smile forming on his jawless maw. It was this that he wanted to do the whole time. He didn't really care for anything else. Just him, and his precious shard.

I w..l b.in. y.u .sc..si..

Vekaron's Journey[]

Two weeks after receiving the rank of Penumbrian, Vekaron was called over by Arkarixus to meet him at Hyperborea's docks. Upon meeting with the Kormacvar, he signaled for a group of Caretakers to open a secret hallway for them, where a second, hidden docking bay was found. Vekaron was surprised to see thousands of scientists and Caretakers working on a single spaceship. Vekaron's new ship.

Vekaron - Woah. What is this?
Arkarixus - This is the first model of the Penumbra-Class Cruiser, the personal spaceship of each member of the Penumbra Unit.
Vekaron - It's...wow, I have no words.
Arkarixus - This ship has been under construction since the formation of the Council. It's a combined effort between scientists of nearly all member species of the Alliance, and with the help of the Legacy empire.

Arkarixus led Vekaron inside, showing the spaceship's interior and its crew, made up of several different species.

Vekaron - I take my first mission has been chosen then?
Arkarixus - Yes. With the help of the Mechanic, we have started a project of mapping the galaxy's unknown regions. Your mission is to explore the galaxy's unmapped sectors, discover new civilizations, gather new members for the Alliance. You shall be the Alliance's ambassador out there.

Vekaron smiled, content with the mission he was given.

Vekaron - I'd be an honour to do that.
Arkarixus - m sure it will. Your spaceship was also made with the help of the Indoctrinate Collective, so it may travel through space without the need of Cold Relays.
Vekaron - Wait. Does this mean I can go...to another galaxy?
Arkarixus - Precisely.
Vekaron - Woah...this is awesome, Ark.
Arkarixus - Me and mission control are also getting in contact with a few notable individuals out there, not related to the Alliance. Get them on your crew. It's shady business but it'll make your team strong enough to beat any obstacle.
Vekaron - Gotacha, sir.
Arkarixus - I've left the first dossier at your private terminal. A Murgur by the name of Wragrot. Meet up to him at the Murgur homeworld.

With this, Arkarixus left the spaceship, while Vekaron prepared himself for his new journey.

Kaotic Situation[]

Murgur Battlemaster[]

Vekaron took his spaceship, nicknamed Commandant's Direction, to the arid desert world of Kaos, homeworld of the Murgur Warbands to meet up with his apparent new crewmember. Luckily for Vekaron, Kaos is a holy planet for all Murgur: all Murgur, regardless of their affiliation, are allowed to live in peace at Kaos. Extremely few planets had such privilege, making it one of the few points of the galaxy where one could have a diplomatic meeting with the Murgur race as a whole.

As Vekaron landed and made his way to the building to meet up with his contact, he had a look on the city around him. The Murgur had an old-looking architecture, and their homeworld had been populated by other alien races in the most recent years. Bands of Varkorus could be seen causing trouble around dalleys and other abandoned houses, Edulias could be seen acting as guards and Levarcors appeared as workers. Despite the damage caused by the Borealis Grox Empire during the Murgur's history, the warbands were only growing.

As Vekaron finally arrived at the building, he was stopped by a Murgur bouncer, before being allowed to enter. It is often said that having a Murgur bouncer is the highest status enhancer one could get. However, since this was a Murgur planet already, it didn't really mattered. As Vekaron entered, he found himself in a bar, where alarge, imposing and scarred Murgur called him over.

??? - Zoles.
Vekaron - I take you are Wragrot?
??? - Yes. Kraknor Wragrot, Battlemaster.
Vekaron - You belong to the Kraknor Warband?
Wragrot - Used to. I'd rather not talk about that. What matters is that you're on a trip, your bosses want me in and I feel interested.
Vekaron - Is that so?

Wragrot signalled to the barkeeper, who immediately got the two of them beers for drink.

Wragrot - There are not many Battlemasters out there. My kind is a special strain which possesses a higher "brain power", if you wanna call it that.
Vekaron - Brain power?
Wragrot - Let me demonstrate.

Wragrot extended his hand in the direction of a nearby Varkorus and his eyes shined in blue. With an aggressive throw-like gesture, the Varkorus was sent through the dor to outside, screaming angrily.

Vekaron - You're a psychic?!
Wragrot - Yes. There used to be more, but the current Warmasters fear the Battlemaster strain. So we're a dying breed, pretty much.
Vekaron - How does that relate to wanting to travel with me?
Wragrot - Child, I've spent the last 800 years surviving as nothing but a merc because I'm unable of leading a proper force. I am hunted down like an animal. I only got safe when I arrived at this planet, because of its holy ranking. But if I could travel with a Penumbran of all people, I could finally enjoy the thrill of adventuring and battle once more.
Vekaron - I see. And I understand.

At this moment, however, multiple roars were heard outside, as well as many Murgur panicking. Vekaron and Wragrot immediately ran outside to see what was going on, to see the city being attacked by a gigantic tentacled worm-like creature flying above the city. It swooped down, devouring any unfortunate bystander it could, and crushing buildings with its tentacles, before finally leaving.

Vekaron - What the hell was that!?
Wragrot - That's a Kaos Sand Whale! I've not seen one of these in many decades!

Vekaron and Wragrot watched the destruction caused by the Sand Whale. Many were dead, wounded or homeless due to the beast's rampage. Wragrot growled at it, while Vekaron shielded his eyes. A strong sandstorm was beginning.

Wragrot - Boy, I hope you got your leather boots ready. We're going hunting.
Vekaron - Huh?
Wragrot - We must bring the Sand Whale down before it returns. Those monsters are absolutely vicious and will not stop coming until either they or the entire population of this city is dead.

Vekaron watched the damage again, and then turned to Wragrot and nodded. The two left the city to follow the Sand Whale's path. The beast needed to fall.

The Sand Whale[]

The Sand Whale

Vekaron and Wragrot confront the Sand Whale

Vekaron and Wragrot ran through the sandstorm, Vekaron having to shield his eyes to see in the intense sandstorm. They could barely keep up with the Sand Whale, who flew back to its nest. Only the tip of its massive tail was visible through the sandstorm, until it finally disappeared out of view. The duo just kept going forward, entering deeper and deeper into the desert, until they could hear the sound of something entering the ground. Finally, they arrived at an area where many large rocks were visible, as well as a large hole on the ground.

Vekaron - We go down from here?
Wragrot - No. It will come to us.

Wragrot grabbed what appeared to be a Murgur Blaster and shot a nearby rock, causing it to explode. The noise attracted the Sand Whale which emerged from the ground, waving its tentacles and growling loudly at the duo. After a brief stare-off, the Sand Whale launched what appeared to be venomous acid out of its mouth at them, who quickly evaded it.

Vekaron - Crap. I hope you have a plan for fighting this thing.
Wragrot - I do. We go for the mouth.
Vekaron - Into the acid spits? Cool, okay.

Vekaron and Wragrot evaded the monster's tentacles which violently destroyed the landscape around it. Vekaron shot his rifle at it repeatedly, its skin proving much more resistant than it appeared. Meanwhile, Wragrot climbed the tallest rock still standing and then leaped at the Sand Whale, grabbing hold of its several horns. Charging his psychic power, Wragrot concentrated on the Sand Whale's mouth and started to forcefully open it. The beast saw its head paralyzed by the psychic power and started to regurgitate acid all over its own own body, burning through Wragrot's armor and at some points his skin. With this, Vekaron took his gun and shot directly at the Whale's mouth, causing it to screech in pain. Wragrot jumped off the beast and used his psychic powers to launched a boulder off the ground right into the weakened Whale's head, completely decapitating it.

The Sand Whale fell dead, a large quantity of acid still dripping off its neck. Meanwhile, Wragrot fell into the ground, heavily burned by the Whale's acid. Vekaron ran up to him, trying to get him back up. Wragrot, however, merely laughed.

Vekaron - Hey! You alright?
Wragrot - I've...I've not fought a battle like this...in many decades...
Vekaron - C'mon, I'll take you to my ship's medbay.

The duo made their way back to the Commandant's Direction to heal Wragrot's wounds. Despite having delivered the final blow to the Sand Whale, Wragrot knew Vekaron was unlike any Zoles he had ever met. Most Zoles he had met actually were victims or obstacles of his jobs. But this one was different. He had the true spirit of a warrior on him. This journey would be more interesting than he imagined.

Further Slaughter[]

Out in the Arm of Wilderness, some rich, crime filled regions of space were ruled by several competing Wranploer warlords. All of these warlords, however, traded through the various PMCs and rich corporations, the legacy of Falrik Zaarkhun. One corporation - a jack of all trades company dealing in mercenaries, supplies, weapons as well as domestic goods - led by the notoriously beautiful Heeyorian named Yvomil, was just making their way over to deal with another warlord.

The well dressed Yvomil, wearing makeup and jewellery, sat smug. She spoke in a posh, but rather seductive voice, and it was said that her charm is half the reason her business is so successful. She was accompanied by two Wranploer guards.

Wranploer - Another day, another trade, eh? How long do you reckon before someone realises it's better to just rob from us instead of trading?
Yvomil - Knowing this filth, by the time they find out, it'll be too late. We'll play along as long as it profits us.
Wranploer - You're charging prices ridiculously high for products that other companies sell at a quarter the price. It's the brand that's selling us anything. Huh...I dunno about extortion, but I do know Zaarkhun pulled it off back in the day.

At that moment, the ship shook, with all the lights going out.

Yvomil - Oh, what now? I don't have time for this.

The Wranploer guard shook with fright as he saw what was killing everyone in the room.

Wranploer - It's...it's...her...
Yvomil - What's your problem?

The Wranploer was then stabbed by a small creature in the dark, whose eyes alone were enough to strike instant terror in Yvomil.

Wranploer - Gy...

And he fell. Yvomil screamed and shielded her face. But as she did, she was then knocked to the back of her head, out cold.


??? - Rise an' shine!
Yvomil - Urk...what happened...

Yvomil's eyes began to awaken slowly, as she heard the voice of a fat, huge Wranploer. His breath stank almost as bad as his skin, and the room was pitch black. Yvomil coughed repeteadly at the smell.

??? - The infamous Yvomil. Daww, fer a Heeyorian, you're quite the looka. Bet you made tons of cash offa ya extortionate trading, ain't ya?
Yvomil - W-what do you want from me?

Lights turned on. Yvomil saw smears of blood over the floor, and corpses. She then noticed the corpse of a Wranploer...one she'd traded with before, Kivarog. Yvomil screamed in terror at the carnage and closed her eyes.

??? - Aww, sorry bab. Ya little buddy 'ere was a little...well, uncooperative. Well, he was kinda helpful, but ah well, I was hungry. Anyways, got a few questions fer ya...then I might consida lettin' you go.
Yvomil - Get me out of here! I'll give you anything...is it money you want? I can get you any value!
??? - Not quite...the value I want is the value of knowledge.
Yvomil - Huh?

More lights turned on, as the fat Wranploer drew nearer. Piles of bones from a leftover meal. Rotting limbs hanging from eaten corpses. It was becoming clearer and clearer that this fat Wranploer had eaten them all. Yvomil nearly vomited, but held it.

??? - I'm right in thinkin' you're a student of Falrik Zaarkhun himself, ain't I? Come on, I am. I know an agent of his when I see one. I used to be an agent of his meself.
Yvomil - We have not met then...I'd have remembered someone like you if I had seen you before.
??? - Naw, we haven't. I can tell you work for 'im, though. Your methods of trading and 'ow you managed to get an entire region of space to 'ave its economy evolve around your little business...an' 'ow you get filthy rich offa extortion and blackmail...only the man himself was that intricate. So tell me, missy...tell me 'bout all he taught you.

Yvomil spoke to this Wranploer for a while. She told him about business plans, about sweet-talking, about how to get gullible businessmen to trade at incredibly high prices. About how to be the only option for a certain trade, to allow you to charge even higher. And about unfair dealing with smaller businesses, about blackmail...and about what Zaarkhun used to do as a businessman.

??? - Thank you kindly, missy. Now jus' anotha thing...can you, perhaps, talk to me 'bout them Wranploer Remnant warlords? Tell me, like, the biggest few.
Yvomil - Well, recently Captain Torrent has returned from the dead and is on a march against PMCs, destroying them and absorbing other smaller remnants in the process. And there is another warlord by the name of Vorius who is also growing in size considerably, though he doesn't seem to accept business deals.
??? - That's a damn shame, that is. I can't work with neither of 'em.
Yvomil - I've also heard rumours of the Old Niaka Order planning an assault on Wranploer space in hope of scavenging their worlds.

As she spoke about more warlords, the Wranploer was getting increasingly satisfied. Things were working out well for him...very well. As more lights flashed, she could now see the Wranploer, as he brought out his chainsaw.

??? - Thank ya kindly missy...that's very 'elpful indeed...VERY 'elpful...hahaha...
Yvomil - W-w-what are you doing?!

The Wranploer approached, his fat, meaty body raising the chainsaw right above her. As she felt his stench, she also suddenly felt the alarm of the situation. The Wranploer was chuckling.

??? - Just doin' a little cuttin', eh?
Yvomil - No! You abomination! Stay away from me!

The Wranploer laughed hard, as his chainsaw raised in the air. She shut her eyes in fear, crying and screaming. Then she felt the edge of the chainsaw touch her wrists, then her ankles, and suddenly...her arms were freed.

??? - Oh, get up, ya big wuss!

As she opened her eyes, she realised that the Wranploer's chainsaw had cut the irons that bound her. She had now been freed, and could actually move.

Yvomil - But...what...what trickery is this?
??? - I'mma let you, and yer family live, and yer business thrive, I'mma let all of it 'appen...because you're so useful. And besides, you're quite the looka.
Yvomil - Well...thank you.
??? - But you're used to little business deals and contracts, aren't ya? You're used to terms and conditions of service and whatnot...and I've got some terms and conditions meself. And ya better listen.
Yvomil - Okay...
??? - Firstly, we never 'ad this conversation. Your shuttle, it crashed, and you bought a new one (I'll get you a new one, don't worry). You neva' met no fat lousy Wranploer in a slaughterhouse at all, in fact, no such Wranploer exists. An' secondly. You keep in touch with me at all times. Anythin' I ask you to inform me about, you damn well inform me. I ask a question, you answer it. You from now on are me subordinate. I have the authority, an' not you. Don't think otherwise cos me little friend is more than willing to assassinate you again. She don't speak, but I know what she wants.

Yvomil nodded with a frightened expression in her face.

??? - An' thirdly...now this 'ere's the most important one...

The Wranploer leaned closer, as Yvomil backed away. She was disgusted by him and his stench, and anyone could tell in her face.

??? - I'm gonna cut down quite a lotta them Wranploer warlords. Not many, jus' a few. I'm gonna be a warlord meself, see. An' you're gonna bloody well help me achieve that position. You're gonna take the position as me personal financial advisor, and trader, and you're gonna run me little business. And help me get there. Now gettin' there involves procuring a few materials required to make some real complicated AI...

He now looked at her blankly in the face.

??? - You are gonna do that, right?
Yvomil - Y-y-yes, of course...boss.

The Wranploer smiled very evily, especially happy that she was calling him "boss".

??? - That's good, eh? Because the AI I'm buildin' is worth more than ten of your lives...hehehe. You run along, an' if get into any trouble, I'm more than willin' to help. I'll be more 'elpful to you, jus' as long as you follow me terms.
Yvomil - Understood.

The Old Order's Opportunity[]

It had been a long time since the Rogue Boyz had really done anything...well, exciting. After the Borealis War had ended, it had become rather uninteresting for them. They also were totally unsure about who was their allies, and who were their enemies.

Fre'kloar - lifes borin
Hagto'Zhl - ya moms borin
Fre'kloar - ikr
Grak'tona - DA KING ORDERS SUMFIN SIK TA HAPPEN NAO

Fre'kloar then punched Grak'tona, took his ice hat and placed it on his own head.

Fre'kloar - FUK YOO BITCH

Grak'tona slapped Fre'kloar and put his hat back.

Grak'tona - NO TOUCHIN DA ROYAL CROWN

Fre'kloar took the hat back, although it melted in his hand.

Fre'kloar - :(
Grak'tona - NUUUUUUUUUUUU

Grak'tona tackled Fre'kloar into the ground and beat him up. Jol'kiar facepalmed, and had to step in to say something productive.

Jol'kiar - yanno...first off, our enemies uno an we havent had an organized fite gainst dem in ages. secondly, deres a ton of unexplored space in borealis. jus expand. dats wat we did in da old days
Hagto'Zhl - i need a reesun. like a noo planet wiv a plant whichs propa rare an can make a noo pizza ingredient

Gol'thabex burst through the door, waving his guns around and looking smug.

Gol'thabex - guys, da thugz fer dosh hav com across a noo planet wiv a plant whichs propa rare an can make a noo pizza ingredient
Hagto'Zhl - ...FANKS DAD
Gol'thabex - we found it wen da ONO doods hired us ta take care of som pmc. apparently dey want da world too. fak dis suks
Jol'kiar - well deyz allies of us i fink. can we jus pop up ta dem an ask if we can share
Fre'kloar - da pirate niaka peepz? at leest deyz not all "YOR A CRIMINAL DAI" like dos otha priks
Hagto'Zhl - ye. ill pop up to dem now...

Hagto'Zhl went into his computer, then smashed buttons frantically.

Hagto'Zhl - fukin hell man facebook.lor isnt loadin.
Rel'larutina - You forgot your login details...
Fre'kloar - yor a losa yoo neva like ma shared piks

Hagto'Zhl raged, then Rel'larutina entered her details and logged in.

Fre'kloar - LMAO YOO HAV NO NOTIFICASHONS HAHA CUZ NO ONE LIEKS YOO
Rel'larutina - Uh, gimme a break.

They then started a video call with the Old Niaka Order leader, Xoraika.


In Xoraika's throne...

Niaka Guard - Sire...when do you plan to make your move that you keep talking about, if you don't mind me asking?
Xoraika - I got more than one target in mind. Those weakened Wranploer sound like an excellent target for some looting. No longer we have to obey their orders, my boy.
Niaka - Hmm...oh, wait, we recieved a message...from...uh, the Loron.
Xoraika - Oh. Great. Those "things".

The Loron appeared in video call.F

Fre'kloar - yo blud liek ma profile pic plz
Jol'kiar - ey, urm, bout dat planet.
Xoraika - Yes?
Jol'kiar - see, deres dis plant fingy dats liek propa helpful to us wiv makin pizza if we help yoo smash whoeva lives der an help yoo build colonies an stoof den we can share a bit of da world until weve taken da plant away an can grow it in som otha place dat ok
Xoraika - Mhmm. I see where you're going. Sounds good for me.
Fre'kloar - saaaafe don hashtag yolo swag an liek ta be in my hot or not vid also imma tag yoo in da noo pic
Rel'larutina - ...
Jol'kiar - STOP TALKIN LIKE DAT
Xoraika - ...Right.


As the Rogue Leedas landed on the planet, they found the Niaka awaiting for them on their battlesuits. Old Order battlesuits wereg generally smaller and faster, but less powerful than those of the Special Forces. The Loron found the rare plants to make new pizza ingrediens of, and were delighted.

Fre'kloar - HOLY CRAP DESE PLANTS SMELL NOIC
Grak'tona - deyz mine nao
Fre'kloar - IMMA TAKE DEM
Grak'tona - I SED DEYZ MINE YOO DEFF FUK

And as the Loron moved into grab a few, suddenly they were knocked out by a bomb that landed in the middle of the field, burning them all...the Niaka had bombed the fiels.

Fre'kloar - WTF
Hagto'Zhl - WAT WAS DAT FOR OH MA DAYZ

Fre'kloar spoke to Xoraika and comms chat.

Fre'kloar - OI. WATS DA BIG IDEA?
Xoraika - Oh hey there. Turns out I remade my calculations and turns out I don't really like you. So you're all gonna die now.
Fre'kloar - FUK YOR MOTHA

Fre'kloar's rage was intense, as he then charged over to the Niaka troops and started beating them, and crushing their small, buglike bodies. However, the Niaka battlesuits took flight and gunned the Loron non-stop, forcing them to take cover to not get killed. The Niaka wanted no idiotic insect on their new planet, and they meant it.

Jol'kiar - fuk dis geeza shall we jus leg it
Hagto'Zhl - its rainin boolits of cours we leg it

The Loron ran off to their shuttle and only barely managed to escape before the Batltesuits took it out. On his ship, Xoraika laughed loudly. The Loron were so incredibly gullible it was amusing. With a new planet under his control, he turned his eyes to the Wranploer remnants, to prepare his next strike...

Even More Slaughter[]

The next victim of the psychotic, killer fat Wranploer was a Draconis girl. Having been unsuspectingly kidnapped after along day of work, Valassia, a psychological expert working as a psychiatrist and as an examiner of the Imperium's enemies' psychology, Valassia found herself waking up in the dark, pitch black slaughterhouse.

??? - Why, hello there.
Valassia - Where the hell am I?!

The fat Wranploer chuckled, as he worked towards her. Lights lit up in the room, and Valassia saw corpses, and walls smeared with blood. She instantly felt uneasy.

Valassia - I see you enjoy leaving rotting bodies everywhere...
??? - And 'ow'd you feel 'bout bein' one of 'em? Thought not. Let's just cut to the chase.

Then the Wranploer asked the psychologist questions. Mostly about the thought patterns of Volim and Zaarkhun. The details about Zaarkhun's past, his reaction to it being brought up, about how their brains thought, how they worked. As she explained literally all she knew, the smile on this Wranploer's face became more and more apparent. Valassia was revolted, but in her area of study, it was best not to show it. And now he had one more question...

??? - I wonda...'ow possible is it...to replicate the mind of an organic being in an AI?
Valassia - Theoretically yes. But such technology is not easy or cheap...
??? - It is? Now that is what I like to hear...

The Wranploer, clearly very pleased, brought out his chainsaw, which whirred as it approached her neck. A grin formed on his face.

Valassia - Wait wait what are you doing?! I answered your questions! Please...let me live!
??? - Your point being...? This is my slaughterhouse. And raw, fresh meat is my thing!
Valassia - Please I have a doctrate in psychology!

The psychotic Wranploer clearly enjoyed cutting the innocent, helpless Draconis to pieces, devouring her organs...but not before she took a little snapshot of him, and broadcasted it.

The images broadcasted by Valassia soon hit the Draconid Imperium, who then sent the images to the Polar Crystal Alliance. There was a serial killer across the stars, and the Alliance would have to work hard to find him and put him down...or would the killer come for them?

Bounty Hunter's Recruitment[]

Vekaron and Wragrot next travelled to a planet belonging to the Imalmah Hegemony in the Arm of Wildness. The planet was a hub point for bonty hunters, pirates, criminals and so on. According to Vekaron's new dossier, he was to meet with a Kicath bounty hunter currently located on the planet.

Vekaron - Huh. Reminds me of the time I had Nu on my ship. Horrible times.
Wragrot - Never seen a Kicath. Never fought one. Can't judge.

The duo made their way to inside a bar, where the Kicath was apparently located. In the bar, were numerous Imalmah and other unsavory characters from different races. In the shadowy part of the bar, was a female Kicath with her legs propped up on the table, tilting on a chair and tending to sharp blades whilst eyeing up every single criminal in the room. Vekaron and Wragrot made their way to her direction. While most people on the bar would be more than content to attack Vekaron, the sight of the huge Murgut next to him made everyone back up. The Kicath's eyes shot to Vekaron and Wragrot, but shot back to the others in the bar, seemingly uninterested. Vekaron and Wragrot got next to her table, Vekaron reading the dossier given to him.

Vekaron - I take you are Kilchárunya?

Kilchárunya's head turned slowly to the two, and she put down her blade on the table. The bar went quieter.

Kilchárunya - What do you want?
Vekaron - Were you not hired by Arkarixus yet?
Wragrot - Huh. Maybe we arrived before he got in contact with her.
Kilchárunya - Hired? Hmph.
Vekaron - By what I was told, you are a bounty hunter.

The bar went even quieter, and the others began to look at Kilchárunya.

Kilchárunya - You are really beginning to bug me.

Wragrot's eyes narrowed and he leaned over to her.

Wragrot - Oh, really. We are here, offering you the opportunity of joining us in our journey across the galaxy, and you act all moody to us.

Kilchárunya didn't make eye contact with the two, but she began to bear her teeth and clench her fists. Meanwhile, the other bar patrons began talking to each other, and started acting suspiciously.

Kilchárunya - If it weren't for you two, today would have gone a lot better then it's about to go.
Vekaron - Don't blame me for your bad day, we just arrived.

Kilchárunya stood up, and the bar patrons began to attack her. In rapid succession, Kilchárunya knocked each one unconscious with her hands. Vekaron had a surprised look on his face while Wragrot remained indifferent.

Kilchárunya - See what I mean?
Vekaron - How is that my fault at all?

Kilchárunya's gauntlet blade extended, and she pointed it at Vekaron. Upon seeing this, Wragrot extended his hand, which shined in psychic energy.

Kilchárunya - I could have made myself 600,000 credits today by taking out one of the criminals here. But now you gave me away, I have to get off this planet.
Wragrot - Put the blade down before I crush your head in my grasp.

Kilchárunya growled at Wragrot, but she retracted the blade and walked out.

Vekaron - 600,000? You do know you'd get much more working with me.

As she walked out, she bumped into the very criminal she wanted to kill - a hulking Zí-Jittorám.

Wragrot - ...Zí-Jittorám.
Vekaron - Now I'm a bit worried.

The Zí-Jittorám picked her up and hurled her through the wall back into the bar.

Kilchárunya - This is your fault now!
Wragrot - Oh, shut you whiny trap.

Vekaron got his vibroblade out and charged at the Zí-Jittorám, while Wragrot launched a blast of energy at it. The Zí-Jittorám was stumbled by the blast of energy but lashed out his tongue at Vekaron, who jumped back and slashed at his tongue, and Wragrot shoot him with his shotgun. Kilchárunya got her two blades, and jumped to the Zí-Jittorám and slashed at his back. The Zí-Jittorám roared, smashing most of the glasses in the room with it. Vekaron kept slashing at the Zí-Jittorám while Wragrot kept shooting at it, trying to hit its eye.

Vekaron - Agh, I hate fighting these things.
Wragrot - At least they're entertaining. I've got a few Zí-Jittorám scars.
Kilchárunya - This would have been easier if you didn't come along!
Wragrot - Shut up before I shoot you too.

The Zí-Jittorám grabbed Vekaron in his hand and lifted him to his level. He opened his jaws, showing all of his teeth. Hopwever, Kilchárunya threw her blade at the Zí-Jittorám's arm, partially severing it and spurting acidic blood everywhere. Vekaron used the opportunity and slashed at the Zí-Jittorám's mouth, while Wragrot charged at him and tackled him away. It screeched in pain, and threw Vekaron across the bar. Kilchárunya extended her gauntlet blade and started to hack at the Zí-Jittorám's head. Vekaron fell on his feet, and Wragrot kept shooting at its central eye. As Kilchárunya lopped off the Zí-Jittorám's head, it jumped to its feet and starting throwing his fists about frantically. As Wragrot kept shooting the central eye, it kept trying to hit him.

Wragrot - Keep on struggling, animal!

Vekaron got back to them and slashed at the Zí-Jittorám's chest. The Zí-Jittorám slowly stumbled to its knees, but its blood going everywhere meant they had to keep their distance. Vekaron put his blade away and got his pistol out to fire at the Zí-Jittorám from a distance. Kilchárunya teleported behind the Zí-Jittorám, got her blades and rammed them continuously into the Zí-Jittorám's back; it was hard as this Zí-Jittorám's skin was tougher than most. As the blades went through, the Zí-Jittorám made more muted groaning sounds before dropping dead.

Vekaron sighed and Wragrot smirked at the kill. Kilchárunya sighed before pulling out the blades out of the Zí-Jittorám.

Vekaron - Finally...
Wragrot - This fight reminded me a lot of my last birthday party.
Kilchárunya - Zí-Jittorám. Probably the only species in the entire universe who don't die if you decapitate them.
Vekaron - I know it well. I've fought their supreme commander.
Kilchárunya - ...Skhánaróton? Heck, his bounty could buy me the Kicathian Republic.
Vekaron - Yes. It was a while ago, though. I do wonder where Skhánaróton is now. I've not heard of him in months.
Kilchárunya - Hm. Perhaps I had you two mistaken.

Kilchárunya put her blades away, grabbed a drink over the bar and sat down back on the chair amongst a lot of blood and dead bodies.

Vekaron - Maybe I was a little blunt in my approach. I want you to join my crew. Our objective is explore Borealis's unknown regions.
Kilchárunya - Hmmmmm....When you say unknown, where exactly?
Vekaron - Places off the map. Beyond the Alliance's territory and of anyone else's. Our job is to map these regions and maintain galactic stability.
Kilchárunya - Hm. Suppose I could do with a bit of...espionage.
Vekaron - And like I said, payment is not a problem. I'm above the law.
Kilchárunya - And I'm outside of it. Hmmm...very well. Just as long as you promise me that we don't come across any Kicath Agents. They want my head, and trust me, I can't take on one of them even if I tried.

Vekaron shrugged.

Vekaron - Very well. I've worked with Agents before, actually, so even if we do come across them, they'll know you're an ally.
Kilchárunya - Just to prove that, I once tried taking on Agent Nu. The guy almost took my leg off with his fist.
Vekaron - Funny. Nu was actually the first Agent I worked with.
Kilchárunya - ...How did you live?
Vekaron - He was a pain at first but as time passed he...well, became a lesser pain. I guess I have to thank Agent Tau for that.
Kilchárunya - ...Well anyway, don't let any Agent see me. Especially Agent Nu.
Vekaron - Got you.
Wragrot - Hmpf. Just don't cross my path.
Kilchárunya - Heck, it's not me you should be worrying about.
Vekaron - Well, meet us at my spaceship once you're ready to go.
Kilchárunya - Hmph. Alright then.

Vekaron waved at Kilchárunya as he left, while Wragrot was visibly angered at her. The Kicath kept drinking at the now empty bar.

Ultimate Slaughter[]

The Kralgon Emperor had no idea that he had made the biggest mistake of his life by visiting the new deep space construction facility. As he had made his way to open the new centre, he had no idea that he had been watched the entire way...and didn't see it coming when his shuttle was hit with EMP, and he was taken away...The Emperor woke up in a dark, pitch black room, bound to a table.

??? - Welcome to me slaughterhouse, Empra.
Kralgon Emperor - What the hell?

The fat Wranploer laughed, and the Emperor felt his disgusting smell as he approached. Lights lit up, and the slaughterhouse was now visibly filled with corpses, and limbs hanging everywhere. Blood was smeared over the walls, ceiling, and floor.

Kralgon Emperor - Huh? What is the meaning of this?
??? - I do believe you're the best dude to be talkin' about when it comes to these AIs.
Kralgon Emperor - Whoever you are, you're one dumb bastard.
??? - An' what makes ya say that, mister high an' mighty?
Kralgon Emperor - You really think kidnapping a member of UNOL is a smart idea?
??? - I do indeed, mate...

The Wranploer then got out his chainsaw and pointed it right at the Emperor, to his neck.

??? - Or should I say...meat?
Kralgon Emperor - Hmpf.
??? - Tell me all about AIs, an' I'll tell you who I am. An' in doin' so, inform UNO of the new threat. Shall I?
Kralgon Emperor - Fine.

The Emperor talked for a great deal of time about Artificial Intelligences, about how to replicate the thought patterns of an individual using one, and the intricacies behind it. The Wranploer smiled; what he wanted to achieve was in fact possible...

??? - Thank ya kindly, mista.
Kralgon Emperor - Now show me your face.

More lights let, and the Wranploer got closer to the Emperor. He was fully visible.

??? - Any chance you recognize me?
Kralgon Emperor - ...You're that Wranploer lackey of Zaarkhun. Your name is...
??? - Billig. Me name's Billig.

Billig laughed.

Kralgon Emperor - What the hell. I though you were dead!
Billig - Go on, UNO, come at me. Just remember there's a new warlord in town, an' his name's Billig. An' 'e's comin' fer all of ya. My little criminal empire will become so broad an' so powerful that we'll make the Consortium Network look like a swoop gang. Zaarkhun was a great man. I ain't.

Billig pulled up his knife and sliced the Emperor's head off. And now it was clear to everyone that there was a new threat the galaxy had to deal with.

Colonization is currently CLOSED

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