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As they headed towards their quarters, they embarked on what would be one of the most heartbreaking and personal battles they have endured.
 
As they headed towards their quarters, they embarked on what would be one of the most heartbreaking and personal battles they have endured.
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==The Announcer==
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As the shuttles left Grenzaar to transport the groups to their respective quarters on the station where they would be held, the different groups still felt a huge amount of anger and resentment towards one another. Many were disgusted that the leedas they'd known and respected, sometimes grudgingly, for so long had so quickly turned on them. Fre'kloar, in particular, tried to mask how hurt and upset he was by Jol'kiar's words by instead just being furious and angry.
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The shuttle journey took them to a space station out in the middle of deep space, far away from Grenzaar and in an unknown corner of the Ottzello Sector. As they were approaching their destination, with Fre'kloar's being the first to arrive, a hologram of a vaguely familiar Loron appeared before them with a message.
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*'''???''' - ''SUP TEEM FREKLOAR''
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*'''Fre'kloar''' - ''DA HELL DO YA WANT?? IM REELY NOT IN DA MOOD ATM''
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*'''???''' - ''IM HEER TA GREET DA NOO CHALLENGAS BEFOR I INTRODUC DEM ON DA FEELD. I FORT ID GET TA KNO DA TEEM FIRST''
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*'''Fre'kloar''' - ''OK FINE. YOR LOOKIN AT DA BEST TEEM DATS GONNA SMASH ALL DA OTHA STOOPID TEEMS WHOS FULL OF LOSAS''
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*'''???''' - ''I LIKE DAT ATTITUD. OH AN DO YA HAV ANY SONG REQUESTS WHIL YOR FITIN''
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*'''Fre'kloar''' - ''wait we get ta pikk da soundtrak??''
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*'''???''' - ''well yeh kinda but its only songs by me. OH AN I SHULD MENSHON WHO IS''
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The hologram of the Loron smiled, revealing many of his golden teeth, as the three members of Fre'kloar's team recognized him: it was the famed Loron rap star, {{captain|Flo'Sikka}}. His attire was entirely different, as he wore a black leather jacket with spikes on his shoulders, entirely different from what he normally wore.
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*'''Flo'Sikka''' - ''IM DA BEST LORON MUSICIAN DERE IS. FLOSIKKA''
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*'''Fre'kloar''' - ''YOOOOOOOOO FLO'SIKKA???? FOR REEL????''
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*'''Drizz'pyrokirk''' - ''OI DOOD I HAV ALL YA ALBUMS I LISSEN TA DEM WHIL ON MA DAILY JOGS''
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*'''Naktor'zak''' - ''YEH AND I GOT A BOOMBOX INSIDE MA TANK DAT PLAYS YA TUNES''
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*'''Flo'Sikka''' - ''PRESHIATE IT. THO I SHULD MENSHON I DONT RAP ANYMOR LOL''
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*'''Fre'kloar''' - ''MAN WHAI NOT??? YOR DA BEST RAPPA EVA''
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*'''Flo'Sikka''' - ''well see i WAS but den whil zrahgloth was president i made a diss trak agenst him an it kinda bommed ma career. an afta zrahgloth died all da fans got mad at mecoz dey fort i was disrespektful. so i had ta change genres''
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*'''Fre'kloar''' - ''dats lame. so yor part of dis whol challenj fingy nao?''
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*'''Flo'Sikka''' - ''im not a challenga maself but im da announca fer da event. ALSO ALL MA NOO MUSIC PLAYS DURIN IT. WANNA HEER A DEMO OF MA NOO SONG???''
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Before the Loron could even answer, Flo'Sikka pulled out an oversized electric guitar from his jacket and began playing an extremely loud song that could be heard echoing throughout their shuttle.
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*'''Flo'Sikka''' - ''RULES OF NATUR!!!!!!! AN DEY RUN WEN DA SUN COMS UP''
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*'''Drizz'pyrokirk''' - ''da hell dis sounds familiar. DID YA REELY MAKE DIS???''
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*'''Flo'Sikka''' - ''shhhhhhh''
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*'''Naktor'zak''' - ''well wateva da case we get ta lissen ta gud music as we RUN OVA ALL DA DUMBOS''
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*'''Flo'Sikka''' - ''nice ok. ONE LAST FING. WAT STATEMENT WULD YOO LIKE TA GIV TO DA PRESS IN RESPONSE TO DA LATEST CHARACTA ATTAK ON FREKLOAR COMIN FROM JOLKIAR?''
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*'''Fre'kloar''' - ''YA CAN TELL DEM I DONT NEED DAT OLD FART ANYMOR CUS IM BETTA AND STRONGA DAN HIM AND I BEET HIM UP ONCE AND CAN DO IT AGEN HE BEST NOT TEST MA PATIENCE. IM DA PROPA BIG BOSS ROUND HEER!!!!!''
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*'''Flo'Sikka''' - ''OK COOL I CAN RUN WIV DAT. FANKS FER DA EXCLUSIV INTAVIEW AN ILL SEE YOO IN DA ARENA''
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Flo'Sikka's hologram left, as Fre'kloar's group landed to arrive at their quarters.
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----
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Meanwhile, Hagto'Zhl, having just landed on another part of the space station, settled in his own living quarters. The Loron on his team were each given fairly spacious rooms with a large kitchen and lounge area, similar to a luxury apartment, but all had to share one bedroom. The quarters were suspended atop a floating glass platform overlooking the rest of the station below them, where the main arena was located in a sphere at the center.
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As Hagto'Zhl and his team had just moved in, they too received a hologram message from Flo'Sikka.
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*'''Flo'Sikka''' - ''SO WAT DO YA MAKE OF DA LIVIN QUARTAS??? I MEEN NOT LIKE YOO HAV MUCH CHOICE COS YOR NOT ALLOWED TA LEEV LOL''
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*'''Hagto'Zhl''' - ''YEH KEEP RUBBIN IT AND YOR GONNA WISH ID STAY HEER. ANYWAY IT WORKS''
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*'''Kal'kuir''' - ''NOT FAIR MAN MA OWN ROOM ISNT DIS BIG. WHAI CANT I HAV A BIG ROOM???''
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*'''Gol'thabex''' - ''yood hav more space if ya didnt keep hoardin a bunch of useless crap in ya room. deres like a mountain of scrap metal yoo NEVA use''
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*'''Kal'kuir''' - ''BUT WAT IF I NEED IT LATA????''
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*'''Flo'Sikka''' - ''HURHUR GOOD DAT YOO HAV SPACE. KALKUIR CAN HAV ACCESS TO DA LAB ON FLOOR 35 TA MAKE WEPONS IF HE WANTS. ESPESHULLY IF DA CROWD DEMANDS IT. WHICH TBH DEY WILL BECUZ DA ONES YOO BROUGHT DONT LOOK DAT INTERESTIN''
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*'''Kal'kuir''' - ''FIRST OF ALL WHAI DIDNT YA TELL ME YOO LOT HAV A LAB???? SECOND SHUT UP MA GUNZ IS DA SIKKEST''
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*'''Flo'Sikka''' - ''NORMALLY I WULD WRIT A DISS TRAK AGENST YA FOR DAT BUT I DONT RAP ANYMOR AN I DONT KNO HOW TO MAKE A DISS TRAK WIV ELECTRIC GUITARS LOL''
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*'''Hagto'Zhl''' - ''i was always a betta rappa dan yoo anyway lmao''
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*'''Flo'Sikka''' - ''man yoo an zrahgloth were both ma worst opponents. AN ZRAHGLOTH RUINED MA CAREER''
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*'''Hagto'Zhl''' - ''yeh reel sad. ANYWAY WHEN DO I GET TA BEET DA OTHAS UP TIL DEY CRY ON CAMERA?''
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*'''Flo'Sikka''' - ''YOR MATCH COMES STRAIGHT AFTA TEEM JOLKIAR. FIRST OFF I NEED YOO TA GIV A STATEMENT TO DA PRESS ABOUT WHY GRAKTONAS MOMS UGLY''
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*'''Hagto'Zhl''' - ''hurhur dat so? ok den. GRAKTONAS MOM WAS A FAT UGLY COW WHO PROBS LET EVERYUN HAV DEIR WAY WIV HER. TOTAL TOWN BYCICLE. ALSO GRAKTONAS A FAT IDIOT AND IM GONNA MAKE SUR TA SMASH HIS CROWN IN FRONT OF HIM BEFOR I KILL HIM''
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*'''Flo'Sikka''' - ''WORKS FER ME. AN PLZ REMEMBA TA PUT IN SONG RECOMMENDASHONS BEFOR YA FITE. PEECE''
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*'''Hagto'Zhl''' - ''YEH OK. KALKUIR GO TO DA LAB AND MAKE SIK GUNZ. GOL YOO PIKK DA SONG CUS I CBA ATM LMAO''
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*'''Gol'thabex''' - ''hur works fer me''
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----
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As team Jol'kiar settled into their own quarters, they had a very similar living situation to Hagto'Zhl's team, but were on opposite ends of the space station. Already as soon as they had moved in, Brag'klogga had put together a shrine to Zr'An and K'ar with several candles surrounding a small statue of the two godz, where Brag'klogga was rapping about the godz under his breath.
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Unnerved by what surrounded him, Ray'loth was twitching. Brag'klogga was deep in his "prayers" to the two gods, while Jol'kiar was sat in silence, still angry at Fre'kloar. Just before Ray'loth was about to speak up, a hologram of Flo'Sikka appeared.
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*'''Flo'Sikka''' - ''AN OVA HEER WE HAV OUR NEX TEEM: TEEM JOLKIAR. AKA DA CRAZI OLD GEEZA TEEM PLUS RAYLOTH FER SOM REESON. SUP PEEPZ''
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*'''Brag'klogga''' - ''DONT INTERRUPT DA PRAYAS TO DA GODZ. ZR'AN AND K'AR WILL BLESS DA BEST TEEM AND SHOW EVERYON HAO DA OTHA LORONZ IS A BUNCH OF THIKOS''
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*'''Ray'loth''' - ''all dis waitin is KILLIN me. i jus wanna go out dere and SMASH THRALOY INTO PIECES. and da othas too if dey get in ma way''
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*'''Flo'Sikka''' - ''DA ONLY GOOD PRAYAS TO DA GODZ AR DA ONES DAT I WROT. shame dat ma gospel music album didnt sell dat well tho''
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*'''Brag'klogga''' - ''HERESI. BE SILENT FOR YOO HAV DA DUM IN YOO''
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*'''Jol'kiar''' - ''...lissen jus get dis ova wiv alredi. im not in da mood for conversashon''
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*'''Flo'Sikka''' - ''oh?? an why is DAT den''
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Jol'kiar kept his arms crossed and his eyes closed as he did not move from the spot.
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*'''Jol'kiar''' - ''frekloar lost his way. he turned his bak on tradishon. hes doin everyfin i taught him NOT to do and flauntin it. yoo dont jus say dose fings to ya menta, its jus wrong. i hav ta teech everyun watchin dis tournament dat dis is WRONG. YOO HAV TA RESPEKT YA ELDAS.''
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*'''Flo'Sikka''' - ''i feel ya pain. evrytime dese new rappas com out wiv disses agenst me im like "mate??? but yor whol style was stolen from me???" anywayz fanks fer givin a statement to da press. YOR FITE WILL BE ON STRAIGHT AFTA TEEM GRAKTONA''
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*'''Brag'klogga''' - ''HE WILL FAIL FOR HE IS NOT BLESSED!!!! HE JUS WEARS A STOOPID CROWN AN CALLS HIMSELF KING??? I NEVA UNDASTOOD DAT''
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*'''Flo'Sikka''' - ''WE WILL ASK DAT TO HIM NEX. PEECE OUT LADS''
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----
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Grak'tona's living quarters were located at the very bottom of the space station, also suspended on a platform separately from anyone else. What was different about his was that his quarters were ice cold. Kept in below freezing conditions specifically for the king, unlike the others, Grak'tona had a throne made of ice for him in his room, which took up most of the space from the other two.
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As his other teammates struggled to stay warm in the cold temperatures, Flo'Sikka surprised them by appearing on hologram.
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*'''Flo'Sikka''' - ''NOW WE GET TA TEEM GRAKTONA. DA TEEM WIV DA KING IN IT. SUP LADS''
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*'''Grak'tona''' - ''DA KING GREETS YOO. HE IS PLEESED BY YOR ACCOMODASHONS''
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*'''Voa'reak''' - ''DIS PLACE SUKS THO?????''
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*'''Zalk'don''' - ''WHAI DA HELL IS IT SO COLD IN HEER??? I CANT FEEL MA TOES''
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*'''Flo'Sikka''' - ''GRAKTONA WAS DA ONLY ONE DAT PUT IN REQUESTS FER HIS APARTMENT. DA REST OF YOO DIDNT BOTHA''
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*'''Voa'reak''' - ''WAT DA HELL I THOUGHT DAT PAPA WAS JUS SOM RANDOM AD''
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*'''Zalk'don''' - ''OK FINE DEN. VOA LETS FIND SOM FURNITURE TA SET ON FIRE''
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*'''Grak'tona''' - ''STOOPID BODYGUARDS DONT YA SET DA ROYAL ROOM ON FIRE I SWER. MAN DA HELL UP!!!!''
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*'''Flo'Sikka''' - ''SPEEKIN OF FIRE, DERES A NEW SONG IN MA ALBUM WRITTEN ABOUT YOO''
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*'''Grak'tona''' - ''OH YEH? BEST BE GUD OR ITS OFF WIV YA HED''
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*'''Flo'Sikka''' - ''IT GOES "DA UNENLIGHTENED MASSES, DEY CANNOT MAKE DA JUDGEMENT CALL..." AN ITS ABOUT A KING except i called da king arm'strong insted''
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*'''Grak'tona''' - ''hmmmm ok i like da themes. WE CAN JUS SAY DAT KING IS ME FLEXIN MA MUSCLES LOL''
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*'''Flo'Sikka''' - ''YEH EXACTLY. SPEEKIN OF WHICH YOO WAS RECENTLY TARNISHED IN DA PRESS BY TEEM HAGTO. HE SED A BUNCHA STUFF ABOUT YA MOM. WAT DO YA SAY IN RESPONS''
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Grak'tona bashed the arms of his throne in anger.
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*'''Grak'tona''' - ''NOBODY SPEEKS OF DA LEGENDARY QUEEN MOTHA OF KING GRAK'TONA LIKE DAT!!! HAGTO IS JUS SOM CREEP WHO USED TA BE MA ROYAL BODYGUARD BUT AFTA HE HAD DA NERVE OF DISSIN ME HE HAS BEEN FIRED. EVERYON WHOS NOT PART OF MA TEEM IS A LOSA FORMA BODYGUARD WHO WAS NEVA AKSHULLY USEFUL I JUS KEPT DEM AROUND OUT DA GUDNESS OF MA HEART CUS IM SO EMPATHIC. BUT DISRESPEKT DA KING AND ITS '''OFF WIV YA HED'''!!!!!''
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*'''Flo'Sikka''' - ''GOOD RESPONSE MATE. YOO AR ON IN DA NEX FITE. I WISH YA LUK MAN''
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*'''Grak'tona''' - ''DIS VICTORYS ALREDI IN DA BAG. EVERYUN WILL WATCH DA KING FLEX ON DA PESANTS''
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----
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Fed'koppa's living quarters were also located at the bottom of the station, though these were the most plain of all. Fed'koppa immediately made the place his home by taking up all space on the desk in the living room, filling it with paperwork and documents for his typical police duties. Meanwhile, Traz'raka made use of his own desk in the bedroom and used it to count his money.
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Knar'gank and Kunni'ghan, on the other hand, were bonding on the coach as they began telling one another stories of their lives of crime. This irritated Fed'koppa all throughout, but he nonetheless kept going through his files inquisitively. Midway through, Flo'Sikka appeared on hologram.
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*'''Flo'Sikka''' - ''DA EVIL COP TEEM IS UP NEX!!!! SUP LADS''
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*'''Fed'koppa''' - ''WHO IS YOO CALLIN EVIL????? IM A PENUMBRAN YA IDIOT. A SERVANT OF DA COUNCIL''
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*'''Flo'Sikka''' - ''AN DEYZ NOT GONNA SAVE YOO LOL. YOR LIKE A MILLION MILES FRUM HYPABOREA''
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*'''Fed'koppa''' - ''YA FINK IM SCARED OF SOM TRYHARDS GOIN AT ME WIV SOM STOOPID GAMES? IVE BEEN THRU ALL SORTS OF MISHONS DIS IS NOFFIN''
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*'''Flo'Sikka''' - ''MAN DAT AKSHULLY SOUNDS KINDA SIK. I USED TA WRITE RAPS DISSIN DA COPS BUT UPON MEETIN ONE YOR KINDA IMPRESSIV''
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*'''Fed'koppa''' - ''IM DA BEST OF DA BEST. I WAS DERE WHEN WE KILLED DA MONSTA LEEDIN DA [[Fiction:Ganthorea|CREEPY PLANTS]]. AND I WAS DERE WHEN WE KILLED DA [[Captain:Maknagrius|GIANT SNEK CULTIST BOSS]]. IM A PRO WAR VETERAN''
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*'''Flo'Sikka''' - ''WATS IT LIKE WORKIN WIV DA CRIMINALS DAT YOO FORMALY WANTED BEHIND BARS''
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*'''Fed'koppa''' - ''WHO SEZ I STOPPED WANTIN IT??? ONCE IM OUT OF HEER YOR ALL UNDA ARREST''
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*'''Flo'Sikka''' - ''NICE OK. ANYWAYZ I DUNNO IF YOO HERD DA NOOS BUT HAGTOZHL JUS RELEESED A STATEMENT ABOUT HOW YA MOMS UGLY AN YA DAD STINKS. WAT DO YOO SAY IN RESPONS''
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Fed'koppa's eyes narrowed for a moment, before he rose from his seat, pointing a finger at the hologram of Flo'Sikka.
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*'''Fed'koppa''' - ''I FINK HAGTOZHL IS STILL A PAWN TO WATEVA DISGUSTIN CORRUPTUS DEEMUN SPAWNED HIM AND DAT HIM AND HIS ILK SHULD ALL BE EXECUTED. DEYZ A BLIGHT TO DA OONIVERS''
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*'''Flo'Sikka''' - ''AGREED. AS DA ONE WHO WROTE DA RAP ABOUT HOW DA CORRUPTUS IS UGLY LOSAS I HATE DEM TOO. FANKS FER YA TIME AN YOR DA LAST TEEM TONITE''
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*'''Fed'koppa''' - ''FINE WATEVA LEMME WORK''
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As Flo'Sikka's hologram disappeared, Fed'koppa resumed his detective work, with the others looking at him curiously. Traz'raka eventually pulled himself away from his desk to approach Fed'koppa with a question:
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*'''Traz'raka''' - ''i meen i kno yoo hate da corruptus but like??? yoo dont even kno hagtozhl''
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Fed'koppa simply rose a finger, as if gesturing Traz'raka to be quiet as he suspiciously eyed the room from side to side, until he finally responded.
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*'''Fed'koppa''' - ''i jus sed wat he wanted ta heer. i dont AKSHULLY meen wat i said (ok maybe i do a bit but dats not important)''
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*'''Kunni'ghan''' - ''grumble grumble GRUMBLE?''
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*'''Knar'gank''' - ''yeh i feel da same way. somfin weirds goin on heer''
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*'''Fed'koppa''' - ''dis is a setup. a trap of som kind. its not da first time i investigate somfin like dis: yoo got a mouff piece gettin yoo ta say stoof yoo dont want othas ta lissen and dey use it ta blakmail ya. dat flo'sikka guy is tryin ta play us''
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*'''Knar'gank''' - ''hmmm i fink i kno wats goin on''
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Knar'gank darted to grab the TV remote and turned it on.
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*'''Kunni'ghan''' - ''GRUMBLE GRUMBLE GRUMBLE''
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*'''Knar'gank''' - ''YES I WAS HIDIN IT FRUM YAS BECUZ I DIDNT WANT YA WATCH DOSE STOOPID SITCOMS ABOUT [[Creature:Rovegar|ELF MOMMIES]]. anywayz look at dis''
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As Knar'gank scrolled through the channels, he eventually arrived on the one where Flo'Sikka was interviewing them.
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*'''Flo'Sikka (recording)''' - ''NICE OK. ANYWAYZ I DUNNO IF YOO HERD DA NOOS BUT HAGTOZHL JUS RELEESED A STATEMENT ABOUT HOW YA MOMS UGLY AN YA DAD STINKS. WAT DO YOO SAY IN RESPONS''
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*'''Fed'koppa (recording)''' - ''I FINK HAGTOZHL IS STILL A PAWN TO WATEVA DISGUSTIN CORRUPTUS DEEMUN SPAWNED HIM AND DAT HIM AND HIS ILK SHULD ALL BE EXECUTED. DEYZ A BLIGHT TO DA OONIVERS''
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*'''Flo'Sikka (recording)''' - ''WOW MAN HARSH WORDS. DA CORRUPTUS MAY BE LOSAS BUT GIVIN US DA DARK LORONZ IS ONE OF DA BEST FINGS DEY DID. YOO WILL REGRET DIS DAY''
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*'''Fed'koppa''' - ''FINE WATEVA LEMME WORK''
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Knar'gank then turned off the TV and looked towards the others with a smug impression.
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*'''Knar'gank''' - ''see?? hes editin da footage. TRYNA SPIN A NARRATIV HEER''
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*'''Traz'raka''' - ''man dats scummy as hell. dats da kinda stoof ya see da mafia do''
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*'''Fed'koppa''' - ''i knew it was a trap. deyz doin it on purpose ta make everyun hate eech otha''
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*'''Kunni'ghan''' - ''grumble grumble grumble GRUMBLE''
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*'''Knar'gank''' - ''hmm im not sur about dat''
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*'''Traz'raka''' - ''wats he grumblin about? MAN YA REELY NEED TA WORK ON YA ACCENT''
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*'''Kunni'ghan''' - ''GRUMBLE GRUMBLE grumble grumble ya mom grumble grumble GRUMBLE''
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*'''Knar'gank''' - ''HES SAYIN HE FINKS THRALOY IS TRYNA DISTRACT US FRUM BEIN MAD AT HIM BY MAKIN US MAD AT EECH OTHA''
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*'''Fed'koppa''' - ''hmmm culd be da case. but dat eint gonna work on me. i dont care if hes a war hero in uro im gonna thro dat guys ass in jail''
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*'''Knar'gank''' - ''well see i fink dats PART of it but i fink deres a moar sinista plot goin on heer. an idk about yoo but i intend ta find out wat it is''
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*'''Traz'raka''' - ''ME AND LIL HOMIE REFUSE TA BE MANIPULATED. WES GONNA GET TO DA BOTTOM OF DIS''
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*'''Fed'koppa''' - ''wat a conspiracy. i usually like workin on dese cases but dis one is CRAP''
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*'''Kunni'ghan''' - ''GRUMBLE!!!! grumble grumble grumble''
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*'''Knar'gank''' - ''yeh wat he sed''
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*'''Fed'koppa''' - ''fine den. yoo lot keep ya eyes and eers open. wes gonna unravel dis conspiracy. AND DEN IM ARRESTIN EVERYUN''
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*'''Knar'gank''' - ''SOUNDS GOOD TA ME. IM GONNA FIND OUT IN DA NEX MATCH HOW TA SOLVE DIS CONSPIRACY''
   
 
{{User:Technobliterator/Navbox/Loron}}
 
{{User:Technobliterator/Navbox/Loron}}

Revision as of 18:16, 16 November 2021

Dancewithdevil Icon Da Dethzone is a Historical Event
"Da Dethzone" is considered a historical event or a completed fiction within the SporeWiki Fiction Universe. You must ask its original creator if you wish to add any additional stories.

AN DEY RUN WEN DA SUN COMES UP... WIV DEIR LIVES ON DA LINE!!! ALIIIIIIIIIIIVE

- Flo'Sikka

The reality TV show known as Da Dethzone was a tournament held in honor of Zr'Ahgloth, who was deceased at the end of Time's Terminus. In his will, he wished to have the highest-rated reality TV show ever made in his name, with all the universe's most famous and notorious Loron competing against one another for survival.

As Da Rogue Boyz were caught up in the mess, and decades-long friendships were torn apart in minutes, time would tell who would be victorious, and who would survive...

The Tournament

Nearly a month after the events of Time's Terminus, the Rogue Leedas were back to roaming the dimensions in Da Propa Big Rogue Krooza. Having come back from a victory against another extradimensional demon, the Rogue Boyz got together for their usual post-battle pizza huddle.

After receiving a transmission from another universe, Fre'kloar rose to his feet, before Grak'tona grappled him and tossed him to the floor.

  • Grak'tona - MAN IM SIK OF FREKLOAR ALWAYS BEIN DA ONE TO START DA STORIES. IM GONNA BE DA ONE TA START DIS ONE. IM OUTRAGED ABOUT SOMFIN VAGUE AN NOT SPECIFIC AN YOR ALL GONNA HEER ME OUT
  • Hagto'Zhl - OR I CULD JUS CHOKEHOLD YA TIL YA PASS OUT AGEN
  • Grak'tona - point taken. alrite go on den
  • Hagto'Zhl - ...wait reely? wow ok uhm i didnt fink dis far. OK FINE IMMA DO IT

Hagto'Zhl marched over to the comms panel and patched it through for everyone to listen. The transmission came from someone that they barely recognized until they heard him speak. Thr'aloy, formerly a Commando of the Unified Nation of Ottzello, had clearly gone through several transformations since retiring from the force. Though he now once again wore the orange metal skin they recognized from him before, he now appeared more heavily-armored. At the sight of him, Ray'loth grumbled under his breath; he had hoped to never see him again.

  • Thr'aloy - GREETINS MORONZ
  • Hagto'Zhl - MAN LOOK AT DIS TALKIN ORANGE. WAT DA HELL IS DIS???
  • Ray'loth - DATS DAT UNO/URO/UZO GEEZA WHO PRETENDS TA BE ME
  • Hagto'Zhl - OH YEAH. TBH I FORGOT HE EXISTED
  • Thr'aloy - YES ITS ME THRALOY OF DA UNION REPUBLIC OF OTTZELLO WIV AN OFFA FOR YOO. AS YOO MAY RECALL, DA PROPA BIG BOSS ZR'AHGLOTH TRAGICALLY DIED IN DA LAST WAR YOO WAS IN AN I WASNT
  • Fre'kloar - YEH SPEEKIN OF WHICH. WHERE DA HELL WAS YOO??? REELY COULDVE USED YA HAND BAK DEN IDIOT
  • Thr'aloy - I WAS ON AN IMPORTANT MISSHON. I WAS STUK ON A MINIATURE GOLF COURSE DAT LASTED SIX WEEKS. WHICH TBH YOO SHULDVE KNOWN ABOUT
  • Kal'kuir - oh man i remmeba dat course. WHAI IS DA HOLES SO SMALL? ridiculous
  • Thr'aloy - nah jus kiddin i was akshully tryin ta serch fer da noo replacement fer zrahgloth. plus i was retired. ANYWAYZ HEERS WAT I MENT TA CALL YA ABOUT

As he spoke, a large holographic card, resembling a birthday card, appeared before them, with some fireworks appearing from it as it opened and played happy music.

  • Thr'aloy - YOR ALL INVITED TO DA FUNERAL PARTY IN ZRAHGLOTHS HONOR!!! ZRAHGLOTHS WILL SED HE WANTED AFTA HIS DETH TA HOST DA BIGGEST PIZZA PARTY IN ALL DA LORONZ HISTORY WIV ALL DA SIKKEST LORONZ EVA INVITED TO ATTEND!!!!
  • Jol'kiar - BAK IN MA DAY WE INVITED GEEZAS FER OUR BIRFDAYS BY SHOVIN DA CARD UP DEIR FACES. tbh it was annoyin bak den not sur whai dey did dat
  • Fre'kloar - a funeral party eh? hmmmmmmmmmmmmm is dere gonna be pizza??
  • Thr'aloy - YES DERES GONNA BE DA BEST PIZZA DAT URO EVA HAD. PLUS A BUNCH OF GRAKTONAS ROYAL PIZZA. AN ALSO ALT-RELLARUTINAS PIZZA DAT WE FORCED HER TA MAKE AFTA DA LAST WAR
  • Rel'larutina - Hell no.

Rel'larutina, who was sitting on a chair and sipping from a soda can, eyed the hologram suspiciously.

  • Rel'larutina - Why the hell would Zr'Ahgloth invite his greatest enemies to a "funeral party"? Your story doesn't add up.
  • Thr'aloy - HE WANTED ALL DA LORONZ TO ATTEND. FED'KOPPA AN DA GRUMBLIN GUY AR GOIN TOO. tho Mad'Hatta wasnt available
  • Hagto'Zhl - grumblin who nao?
  • Gol'thabex - oh i kno dat geeza i worked wiv him a few times. propa funni bloke
  • Fre'kloar - WELL I SAY WE WAS KINDA-SORTA-MOR-OR-LESS OKAY WIV ZRAHGLOTH BEFOR HE GOT EETEN ALIV??? SO HE PROBS DIDNT HATE US ANYMOR???? SO ITS NOFFIN TO WORRY BOUT????
  • Da Propa Big Rogue Geek - The probability of Zr'Ahgloth not harboring any resentment to you on his deathbed is at least 17%. Or, as Kal'kuir would say: "over a dozen."
  • Kal'kuir - ooooh dats not gud guys da statistics isnt on our side
  • Hagto'Zhl - SOUNDS LIKE GEEKY GARBAJ SO I SAY WE ACCEPT DA OFFA
  • Grak'tona - NO ONE ASKED YOO YA UGLY TWIT. DA KING ACCEPTS ON BEHALF OF DA PROPA BIG GRAK'TONA IMPERIUM OF GRAK'TONA
  • Jol'kiar - SHUT UP YOUNGUN YOR A LIL PRIK. DA WISE MENTA ACCEPT DA OFFA
  • Fre'kloar - URM EXCUSE ME??? NO ONE GONNA ASK MY OPINION ON DIS???
  • Hagto'Zhl - i meen i jus assumed yoo was gonna say yeh so
  • Fre'kloar - well yes lol
  • Rel'larutina - Right. Then I guess I better go call alt-me and her boyfriend so we can plan a way to get us out of this obvious trap.
  • Rogue Geek - I'll cue the transmission right after Thr'aloy is done conning these imbeciles.
  • Thr'aloy - GLAD YOR ALL IN. BRING YA FAVORITE DRINKS AN YA FAVORITE PIZZA CHEFS
  • Fre'kloar - SO BE IT. I BET MA PIZZA TASTES BETTA DAN YORS HURHURHUR

As Thr'aloy left behind the coordinates to the pizza party, which apparently was to take place on Grenzaar, the capital of the Union Republic of Ottzello, two different individuals appeared: Captain Alt-Fre'kloar and Captain Alt-Rel'larutina, who were both presiding over the nearby krooza.

  • Alt-Fre'kloar - Arr! Ye have a new mission fer us?
  • Rel'larutina - Hey, guys. My Loron decided to jump into an obvious trap (again). So I'd appreciate if I could count on you to bail them out.
  • Alt-Rel'larutina - Seriously? This is the second time this week!
  • Rel'larutina - Right? I'd be upset if I wasn't so used to it at this point.
  • Alt-Rel'larutina - Well, the answer's obviously "yes", of course, but tell us more about this trap. Did Fre'kloar try to sleep with some interdimensional space bimbo again that planted another bomb in the back of his throat?
  • Rel'larutina - Nah. We got invited by Thr'aloy, Zr'Ahgloth's former second-in-command, to a "funeral party". Apparently we were on "Zr'Ahgloth's will".
  • Alt-Rel'larutina - Oh thank Volzara, I was worried I was gonna have to open his mouth and get last week's pizza spat at me again.
  • Alt-Fre'kloar - Avast! That be a terrible day!
  • Rel'larutina - Yeah, and since Zr'Ahgloth and this lot were basically arch-enemies for most of their history, I'm pretty sure the only thing Thr'aloy has in mind is to get them all killed. Maybe for revenge, or maybe because he thinks it'd be funny.
  • Alt-Rel'larutina - Well... I didn't know your Zr'Ahgloth all that well, but I knew my own. My own was callous and manipulative. He would definitely pull a stunt like that to take his enemies out with him when he died. That said... was your own smart enough for that?
  • Rel'larutina - Not sure about manipulative, but ours is definitely callous. And kind of a psycho. There's a reason Ray'loth acts the way he does.
  • Alt-Rel'larutina - Oh, yeah, and our Thr'aloy was killed for trying to harass my secretary. So if he wasn't very bright, I doubt yours is either...
  • Rel'larutina - I couldn't tell you how smart he is, but he was a Commando of URO before they disbanded. So he's nothing to scoff at.
  • Alt-Fre'kloar - Sounds like our alt-timeline counterparts be in trouble! We be on-hand outside the venue fer the party! If anyone asks questions, we'll tell them we're upset we wasn't invited!
  • Rel'larutina - Works for me. I'll leave you informed.
  • Alt-Rel'larutina - Good luck. I'll pull the ship up a few hours after you arrive.

The transmission closed, and Rel'larutina turned to find Fre'kloar and the others gleefully setting course for Grenzaar.


The Rogue Loron parked the Krooza in orbit above Grenzaar, and were taken down in a large space limo. When they arrived, they appeared in a fancy luxury resort restaurant that was clearly reserved only for the wealthiest of guests, and taken to an enormous venue in a fancy restaurant where they were shown to their seats.

Each of the tables had a very specific seating plan, with four tables of three, and one table of four. Fre'kloar was sat alongside Drizz'pyrokirk and Naktor'zak; Hagto'Zhl was sat with Gol'thabex and Kal'kuir; Jol'kiar was sat with Ray'loth and Brag'klogga; Grak'tona was sat beside Voa'reak and Zalk'don; and the final table was reserved for Fed'koppa. Fed'koppa sat with Knar'gank and Traz'raka of Da Rogue Boyz, along with Kunni'ghan, a Loron criminal who the Rogue Boyz only knew as "the grumble guy." Being a member of the Penumbra Unit, Fed'koppa practically fumed with rage at the sight of the people sitting close to him.

  • Fed'koppa - WHAI DA HELL AM I EVEN HEER? I NEVA EVEN MET ZRAHGLOTH
  • Traz'raka - man yor gonna sit me nex to DIS FRIKKIN COP??? YO CHEEF YOO BETTA WATCH OUT. I GOT GOONS ALL OVA DA PLACE WIV A TARGET ON YOR BAK
  • Kunni'ghan - GRRRRR GRUMBLBML
  • Knar'gank - yeh i concur
  • Fed'koppa - LISSEN DA ONLY REESUN I DONT THRO ALL YOR ASSES IN JAIL IS... AKSHULLY I DONT KNO. SO DONT TEST MA PATIENCE KIDDO
  • Traz'raka - YOO AINT TESTIN MY PATIENCE. BUT YOR TESTIN LIL HOMIE'S PATIENCE. DONT MAKE HIM SHOOT YOO UP
  • Kunni'ghan - grumble grumble?
  • Knar'gank - nah i dont fink we could thro him dat far
  • Traz'raka - wait yoo can undastand dis geeza???
  • Knar'gank - ya cant????
  • Traz'raka - nah mate i neva took grumble class in high school. seemed borin
  • Knar'gank - hur well ya shuld given dis guys like one of da highest membas of soltako armed military
  • Fed'koppa - DATS DA WORST PART!!!!!!

Meanwhile, on the other tables, things weren't going much more smoothly. Grak'tona's was the first to descend into chaos.

  • Grak'tona - LISSEN WHOEVA DARED TA PUT DA KING IN A SEAT WIVOUT A THRONE AN DEN NOT PUT HIM WIV HIS MOST TRUSTED BODYGUARD DRIZZ'PYROKIRK HAS REELY GOT SOM NERVE??? DO DEY REALIZE DAT DA KING CAN BE ASSASSINATED AT ANY MOMENT BY SOM TRAITAS TO DA CROWN?????
  • Voa'reak - man i dont fink grak likes us
  • Zalk'don - YEH WELL YA KNO WAT I FINK? I FINK YOR CROWN IS A LAME BOOM
  • Grak'tona - AR YOO DIZZY??? I WAS GONNA SAY SOM NONSENSE LIKE "NAH DA KING LOVES ALL HIS SUBJEKTS" BUT NOW I DONT FINK YA DESERV DAT RESPEKT. AFTA DIS PARTY IM CALLIN FOR YOR BEHEDIN
  • Zalk'don - MAN GET OUTTA HEER. YOR DA KING??? WELL I NEVA VOTED FOR YA
  • Grak'tona - DATS NOT HOW KINGS WORK AAAAAAAAAAAH

And over on Hagto'Zhl's table...

  • Hagto'Zhl - YOO GOTTA BE KIDDIN ME. DEY PUT ME NEX TO A FLIPPIN GEEK WIV A COMPUTA FOR HIS WIFE AN NEX TO DA MERC GEEZA DAT BARELY KNOS WAT IT EVEN IS TA BE A LORON??? MAN WHERS RAYLOTH WEN YA NEED HIM
  • Gol'thabex - oh dats hao it is den? i thought we worked fine togetha bak in da insurrekshon but i guess NOT DEN
  • Kal'kuir - DONT TALK SHIT BOUT MA WIFE OK SHE CAN ZAP YAS
  • Hagto'Zhl - YEH WELL BOF OF YOOS AR A DISGRACE TO DA LORONZ. YOR LUKY DAT DA OTHA LEEDAS OUTVOTED ME EVRY TIME I WANTED YA REMOOVED COZ OTHAWISE YOO WULDNT BE STANDIN ON SOLID GROUND
  • Gol'thabex - YA WANNA SLAP??? OR MAYBE I SHULD JUS TAKE MA AXES AND SCALP YA, YA EMO IDIOT
  • Hagto'Zhl - COM SAY DAT TO MA FACE YA LIL TWERP

Though less chaotic, Fre'kloar's table was still extremely tense. After he sat alongside Drizz'pyrokirk and Naktor'zak, the three of them sat in a completely awkward silence, having never spoke to one another much before at all. Until Fre'kloar decided to break the silence by addressing Drizz'pyrokirk.

  • Fre'kloar - so, urm... yoo work out?
  • Drizz'pyrokirk - uh, yeh. i been doin it for a whil nao
  • Fre'kloar - dats cool
  • Naktor'zak - im in a tank
  • Drizz'pyrokirk - ...HAO DA HELL DID YA FIT THROO DA DOOR??????
  • Naktor'zak - hologram lol
  • Drizz'pyrokirk - oh ok fair enuff
  • Naktor'zak - howeva i shuld inform yoo dat ive neva been to any of yor spin class sesshons. coz yknow. im in a tank
  • Drizz'pyrokirk - rite well remind me ta figure somfin out for ya when wes bak home. YOO GOTTA TRAIN
  • Fre'kloar - heer we go agen...

Funnily enough, the most peaceful table was presided over by Jol'kiar. As soon as they sat down, Brag'klogga immediately began opening with bogus tales about Zr'An and K'ar.

  • Brag'klogga - ...SO DEN ZR'AN AN K'AR SED TO DA CHIK, "WHAI DA HELL DIDNT YOO WORSHIP DA BEST GODZ EVA BY BAKIN A GIANT PIZZA ON MONDAY???" AN SHE SED "BECUZ I THOUGHT IT WAS TUESDAY PLZ DONT GET ANGRY", AN DEN DEY SMITED HER WIV DA WRATH OF DA FOOT OF ZR'AN (OR WAS IT K'AR?) AN DEN DATS DA STORY OF HOW WE STARTED COOKIN PIZZA AT 5:15 ON A TUESDAY AFTA DA ONE ON MONDAY MORNIN
  • Jol'kiar - hmmmmmmmmmm makes sense to me tbh
  • Ray'loth - i meen yeh its not like i can argue
  • Brag'klogga - BOFF OF YOOS IS UNGRATEFUL TWITS YOR NOT EVEN LISSENIN TA ME
  • Jol'kiar - uhh sure we is. whai dont uh, ya tell us anotha tale?
  • Brag'klogga - SOUNDS SIK. I CAN TELL YA DA TALE OF HOW WE STARTED COOKIN PIZZA AT 5:15 ON A TUESDAY AFTA DA ONE ON MONDAY MORNIN
  • Ray'loth - yeh... sounds gud ta me... yawn

Partway through their conversations, Thr'aloy stepped up to take a microphone from the stage at the back of the room and yelled into it.

  • Thr'aloy - EVRYUN CALM DOWN AN LISSEN GOOD
  • Fre'kloar - ABOUT FLIPPIN TIME WHERE DA HELL WAS YOO???
  • Thr'aloy - SO I WANTED TA BEET MA RECORD SCOR ON DA MINIATURE GOLF COURS BUT DEN DA BALLS DIDNT FIT IN DA HOLES PROPA AN I GOT MAD AN RAGEQUIT TA COM BAK HEER
  • Kunni'ghan - GRRRRR GRUMBLE GRUMBLR GRUMBL
  • Knar'gank - man ya cant say dat dis is a family friendly story
  • Thr'aloy - LORONZ ACROSS DA OONIVERS. I COM WIV GLAD TIDINGS TA PROPOS A TOAST IN HONOR OF ZR'AHGLOTH, DA GREATEST LORON WHO EVA LIVED
  • Grak'tona - urm i fink dis shuld be a toast fer ME????? DA GREATEST LORON KING WHO EVA LIVED
  • Thr'aloy - yeh yeh hold yor questons till da end. FER NOW I PRESENT A HOLOGRAM OF ZRAHGLOTH RECORDED BEFOR HIS DETH!!!!

The room's lights turned off as a large hologram of Zr'Ahgloth appeared, his voice booming around the room. Zr'Ahgloth's message had been pre-recorded, but he had clearly not planned well based on how it opened:

  • Zr'Ahgloth (recording) - ...AN CLEEN DA DISHES NEX TIME WILL YA? I DONT WANNA HAV ANOTHA PIZZA WIV THRALOYS SALIVA OVA DA BOTTOM OF IT. oh rite da message. ahem.

Zr'Ahgloth seemed to perform a heroic pose just as he spoke.

  • Zr'Ahgloth (recording) - IF YOR WATCHIN DIS DEN I MUST BE DED. I HOPE DAT MY DETH WAS DA SIKKEST DETH EVA
  • Fre'kloar - YOO GOT EETEN BY CORRUPTUS LIKE A LOSA
  • Zr'Ahgloth (recording) - IM SURE ALL OF YOO AR CELEBRATIN MA BRILLIANT LIFE AS DA SIKKEST LORON WHO EVA LIVED
  • Jol'kiar - YOO SUKED AN RUINED EVRYFIN DA LORONZ EVA STOOD FOR
  • Zr'Ahgloth (recording) - AN SO IN DETH, I WANNA CELEBRATE YOR LIVES, DA LIVES OF DA BEST LORONZ!!!!
  • Hagto'Zhl - I WAS BETTA DAN YOO, COPYCAT DUMBO
  • Zr'Ahgloth (recording) - FIRST OF ALL, I DEMAND DAT YOO SUMMON DA GODZ TA SAY A SPEECH IN MA HONOR. AN I MEEN ALL DA GODZ, EVEN DA FAKE ONES LIKE ZR'AN AND K'AR

The recording paused, and Thr'aloy looked around a little awkwardly.

  • Thr'aloy - urm tbh i dont fink zrahgloth planned dat Tuolog wuld be ded too lol. so idk how ta summon him

As the rest groaned angrily, a bright light shone in the middle of the room, and the Taldar Elder, known to the Loron as the god Roz'Tah'Flok, appeared.

  • Taldar Elder - Why, hello there, old chums! Yes, it's me! Your friendly Taldar Elder! Formerly known as Tuolog when I was a third dimensional mortal, mind you!
  • Fre'kloar - ...wait wat?????? i fink we missed a memo heer
  • Brag'klogga - FALSE GOD DIS DAYZ COMIN!!!!!!!
  • Taldar Elder - Ah, yes, old chums! The man you knew me as, Tuolog, became the Taldar Elder after I had finished my work in the mortal realm! The Taldar Elder, or as you may know him...
  • Brag'klogga - SO MA STINKY OLD MAN NEMESIS BECAME DA WORST GOD??? NO WONDA I HATED HIM

The Taldar Elder changed his form to that of Roz'Tah'Flok.

  • Taldar Elder - DA BEST GOD EVA AN DA CREATA OF DA LORONZ
  • Brag'klogga - LIES AND SLANDA. I BANISH YOO!!!!! BEGONE!!!!
  • Kunni'ghan - uhh grumb grumble?
  • Knar'gank - yeh man dey is all so loud it hurts ma ears too
  • Taldar Elder - ZRAHGLOTH WAS A PROPA SIK GEEZA AN MA BEST EVA WORSHIPPA (YOO CULD ALL STAND TA LERN A FING OR TWO FRUM HIM). HE WAS DA SIKKEST LORON DAT EVA LIVED AN FOUGHT DA BEST BATTLES EVA, INCLUDIN AGENST DA XHODDIE BOYZ IN WHICH HE WON. PRAISE ZRAHGLOTHS LIFE. AN IM HAPPY TA TOAST IN HIS HONOR
  • Brag'klogga - I SUMMON DA TROO GODZ TA BANISH YA BAK TO DA LOSA REALM

Brag'klogga chanted something incomprehensible, and the Taldar Elder's light was clashed by darkness as Zr'An and K'ar, the twin godz of war, were summoned. Each posed arrogantly and pointed a finger at them all.

  • Zr'An - ZRAHGLOTH WAS A FAILURE AN IT WILL FOLLOW HIM TO DA GRAVE
  • K'ar - HE WAS NO GANGSTA. HE WAS A SLAVE
  • Zr'An - HE DOOMED DA LORONZ INTO BECOMIN PANSIES
  • K'ar - ALSO HIS HAT WAS STOOPID AN HIS MOM LOOKED LANKY
  • Zr'An - NO LANKINESS!!!!! BE FIT!!!!! LIFT WEIGHTS!!!!!!
  • Drizz'pyrokirk - DATS WAT I KEEP TELLIN DESE DUM SODS
  • Taldar Elder - FALSE GODZ OF DA LORONZ, I AM UNIMPRESSED. ALL DA TROO LORONZ KNO DAT ONLY IM DA BEST
  • Zr'An - ROZ MAN YOR HAVIN A LAFF
  • K'ar - YA WANNA HAV A GO???? WES GONNA BEET YA UP
  • Taldar Elder - MAN WASNT YA SUPPOSED TA CHANGE OTTZELLOS DIAPAS BY NOW??? SMH
  • Zr'An - HAO DARE YAS
  • K'ar - WES NO BABYSITTAS GO DO DAT YASELF UGH
  • Taldar Elder - WELL EITHA WAY YOO SHULD PROBS INTRODUC DESE LORON TO DA TOURNAMENT. DA ONE DAT MY LORONZ WILL WIN
  • Zr'An - PFFFT. RITE
  • K'ar - OI IDIOTS. WIN DIS FER ZR'AN AND K'AR OR WES GONNA SMASH YA
  • Grak'tona - eh??? wat is da godz on about
  • Fre'kloar - somfin somfin roz'tah'flop SUKS
  • Taldar Elder - YA MOMS DUM
  • Fre'kloar - WANNA- wait even im not dat dum ta pikk a fite wiv a god
  • Taldar Elder - YEH DATS RITE KNO YOR PLACE. ALRITE IM OUTTA HEER COZ IM BORED AN I WANNA GO TA SPACE. PEECE LOSAS

The Taldar Elder vanished, leaving only Zr'An and K'ar behind. They posed arrogantly again in response.

  • Zr'An - IDUNNO WAT DA HELL ALL DIS IS ABOUT TBH
  • K'ar - BUT IM SUR OUR LORONZ WILL WIN DA FING
  • Zr'An - BUT YEH WES LEEVIN TOO CUS WE GOT IDIOTS TA PUNCH
  • K'ar - AND DONT BOTHA US AGEN!!!!

The twin godz then disappeared in a dark flash of energy, until their dark auras vanished.

  • Zr'Ahgloth (recording) - SO NOW DAT DA GODZ AR FINISHED TALKIN BOUT HOW GREAT I AM, CONTINUIN YOR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMIN OF YOO TALKIN BOUT HOW GREAT I AM. OH BTW DERES A TOURNAMENT YA GOTTA PARTICIPATE IN
  • Hagto'Zhl - HOL UP. TOURNAMENT YA SAY? SHOULDA MENSHONED DAT SOONA
  • Thr'aloy - YEH DERES A TOURNAMENT. ITS CALLED DA DETHZONE. SMH WHY DONT YOO ROGUE LOSAS WATCH REALITY TV
  • Fed'koppa - OI DIS BETTA NOT BE ANYFIN ILLEGAL I SWER
  • Traz'raka - ooh i hope its illegal
  • Thr'aloy - ITS PERFECTLY LEGAL... IN DA LORON PLANETS WHER DERES NO LAWS COZ CRIMES IS ALLOWED
  • Fed'koppa - DARN. FOILED BY LOOPHOLES
  • Thr'aloy - TECHNICALLY LEGAL. DA BEST KIND OF LEGAL
  • Zr'Ahgloth (recording) - MY BIGGEST WISH IN LIFE WAS TA ONE DAY RIDE A MASSIV UNICORN AROUND ALL OF GROODRUB DROPPIN PIZZA WHEREVA I WENT AN BE NAMED "SANTA CLAWS" FER ONE DAY. BUT BARRIN DAT EVA HAPPENIN, MA REAL BIGGEST WISH WAS TA HOST DA SIKKEST EVA TOURNAMENT DAT DA OONIVERS EVA SAW AN HAV DA HIGHEST TV RATINGS OF ANYON DAT EVA LIVED!!! SO MY FRENDS (AN MOSTLY ENEMIES), I INVITE YOO TO... DA DETHZONE!!!!!
  • Jol'kiar - (ice cube trials is betta)
  • Fre'kloar - wait so zrahgloth gathered us heer for a fancy dinna to invite us ta be part of his stoopid tv show??? dats da whol point of dis???
  • Gol'thabex - is we gettin paid fer dis? i want royalties
  • Hagto'Zhl - SCRATCH DAT MAN. DIS IS STOOPID. I AINT GONNA PLAY NUFFIN FER ZRAHGLOTHS AMUSEMENT
  • Grak'tona - DA KING DECLARES DAT ANY SPORT DAT WASNT HIS IDEA IS ILLEGAL. SO I NOW DECLARE DIS SPORT CANNOT TAKE PLACE ANYMOAR AN I REFUSE TA GRACE IT WIV MY KINGLY PRESENCE. AN WIVOUT ME, DA KING, YOR RATINGS WILL SUK
  • Jol'kiar - BAK IN MA DAYZ... UH... HM. I DONT AKSHULLY HAVE AN ANALOGY BOUT DIS ITS TOO SPECIFIC. TL;DR DIS SUKS I WANT OUT
  • Fre'kloar - tbh im not massivly opposed to da idea of fitin on tv but if ma homies is agenst it??? DEN IM AGENST IT TOO. DAT JUST LEEVS DA COP JAKASS
  • Fed'koppa - YA MOM IS A JAKASS DONT MAKE ME CUFF YA. oh and i dont reely care bout yor stoopid tv show
  • Knar'gank - dis doesnt feel like a challeng worthy of our skills tbh. i say no
  • Brag'klogga - WE HAV BESTED DUMBOS, DEEMUNS AND FALSE GODZ. WAT COULD DIS TOURNAMENT PROVIDE?????? BOREDOM!!!!!!! DIS DAYZ NOT COMIN AT ALL

As the group yelled in protest, Thr'aloy chuckled a little to himself, beneath any of their notices aside from the more perceptive Fed'koppa and Knar'gank. Then he proceeded to the next item on the agenda.

  • Thr'aloy - rip guess dats not happenin. IMAGIN DISRESPECTIN DA WISHES OF A DED MAN
  • Hagto'Zhl - MATE DID YOO REELY EXPECT ME TA GIV A CRAP ABOUT WAT ZRAHGLOTH WANTS
  • Thr'aloy - I EXPECTED YA TA HAV DA SAME DREEM SINCE YA COPY EVRYFIN ELSE HE DOES
  • Hagto'Zhl - NO OF COURS NOT. MA UNICORN HAS BIG BAT WINGS CUS HES COOL AND EEVIL
  • Thr'aloy - oh well NEX ITEM
  • Zr'Ahgloth (recording) - I IMAGIN EECH OF YOO WAS SUPA SUPA EEGA TA JOIN DA SIKKEST TOURNAMENT IN LORONZ HISTORY SO NOW ID LIKE TA GET TO MA LAST WISH. DAT YOO HAV A TOAST IN MY HONOR WHER YA DRINK AN SAY GOOD FINGS ABOUT ME AN DEN HAV A SIK PIZZA PARTY AFTA, DA BEST IN LORON HISTORY. DA CHIKZ WILL NOW BRING YOR DRINKS

As he spoke, several Norol arrived placing large bottles of champagne by each of the Loron, and then arrived with the largest pizza boxes any of them had ever seen, each placed at the center of their respective tables.

  • Thr'aloy - WES GONNA GO ROUND DA ROOM WIV FINGS TA SAY. ILL START. ZRAHGLOTH WAS DA BEST HOMIE EVA AN DA BEST LORONZ HAD TA OFFA. NOW I DRINK
  • Ray'loth - NAH NAH I GOT A BETTA IDEA. FIRST WE EET ALL YA FOOD. DEN WE ALL BEET YOO UP TIL YOO CRY. DEN WE LAFF AT ZRAHGLOTHS STOOPID FACE AND LEEV
  • Thr'aloy - LOL FINE DEN DISRESPECT DA DED ALL YA WANT I GUESS. JUS KNO YOO WILL LIV WIV DA SHAME TIL YA GRAVES
  • Fre'kloar - OI LADS LETS DRINK DIS CHAMPAGNE AN SPIT AT DA ZRAHGLOTH HOLOGRAM
  • Hagto'Zhl - FINALLY A GUD IDEA

Laughing as they did so, the Rogue Boyz each downed their own bottle before spitting and mocking the hologram of Zr'Ahgloth. Knar'gank and Fed'koppa looked at one another before taking a sip.

  • Knar'gank - somfin seems fishy about dis...
  • Fed'koppa - hm so its not jus me den. dis all seems too... convenient
  • Knar'gank - still tho im kinda thirsty
  • Fed'koppa - if im stukk wiv yoo lot i may as well get drunk as hell tbh

As the two finally drank, Thr'aloy took the stage again and laughed hysterically as he pressed a button, which zapped each of the Loron in the room and then played the next Zr'Ahgloth recording.

  • Zr'Ahgloth (recording) - HURHURHUR I KNEW DAT YOO UNGRATEFUL SODS WULDNT JOIN DA TOURNAMENT SO I GAVE YAS A LITTEL EXTRA INCENTIVE. IN YOR BOTTLES I PLACED A SLOW-ACTIN POISON AN A BUNCHA NANOMASHEENZ DAT ELECTROCUTE YAS WENEVA YA DONT DO WAT WE SAY. DA ONLY WAY TA SURVIV AN TA GET DA ANTIDOTE IS TA WIN DA TOURNAMENT. YOR ALL SCREWED LOL
  • Fre'kloar - WAT DA AKSUAL HELL???????
  • Hagto'Zhl - COPYCAT DUMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Grak'tona - OH MAN MA STOMACH FEELS WEIRD. WHY DIDNT MA ROYAL SUBJECT DO DA TASTE TESTIN FOR DA KING?????
  • Fed'koppa - yoo... POISONED A MEMBA OF DA PENUMBRA UNIT?!?!?! DIS IS TREESUN TO DA ALLIANCE!!!!!
  • Thr'aloy - YEH?? WAT YOO GONNA DO ABOUT IT... KILL HIM?? OH WAIT. HAHAHAHAHAHA
  • Ray'loth - NO IDIOT. WE KILL YOO

As Ray'loth leapt to his seat to attack Thr'aloy, Thr'aloy gleefully pressed the button once more that zapped him and forced him to fall back to his seat. He had an enormous grin on his face the whole rest of the evening.

  • Thr'aloy - OH MAN I KNEW DIS WAS GONNA BE FUN. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
  • Fre'kloar - SHUT UP. JUS SHUT DA HELL UP ALREDI. MAN WHAI DIDNT ANYON SEE DIS TRAP COMIN?????
  • Kal'kuir - askhully i fink dat rel did but no one was payin attenshon
  • Jol'kiar - MAN i akshully feel a bit bad about it. STILL SUKS
  • Kal'kuir - WELL BY MY CALCULASHONS DA ONLY WAY TA SURVIV NOW IS TA COMPEET IN DIS STOOPID DETHZONE FING
  • Zalk'don - yo does dis meen ma bomz is poisonous nao? sounds sik i culd make som scary warfare wiv dat
  • Naktor'zak - com ta fink of it im not poisoned at all. coz yknow. im in a tank
  • Fre'kloar - SHUT UP YOO TWO. I AM POISONED. AND DATS WAT MATTAS
  • Fed'koppa - MAN I SWER DA COUNCIL WILL HEER OF DIS AND YOR GONNA ROT IN EXILE STASHON FOR DA REST OF YA SORRY LIFE
  • Thr'aloy - YEH ARREST A DED MAN. GOOD LUK MATE
  • Fed'koppa - DO YOO HAV BRAIN DAMAGE????? IM TALKIN TO YOO NOT DA DED GUY

Thr'aloy laughed and then played Zr'Ahgloth's final recording.

  • Zr'Ahgloth (recording) - THOUGHT DAT ID LEEV DA BEST MESSAG TIL LAST AFTA YOO LOT HAV ALL RIOTED AN GOTTEN SUPA MAD. ANYWAYZ YOO AR ALL PLACED IN YOR TEEMS FOR DA TOURNAMENT. YA BEST BE ENTERTAININ AN YA BES BE SIK OR IMMA SPIT ON WHEREVA YOO END UP IN DA AFTALIFE AN MAKE YA AFTALIFE SUK. PEECE OUT LOSAS.
  • Hagto'Zhl - ROT IN HELL COPYCAT DUMBO I BET DA DEEMUNS GOT TUMMY ACHE FROM EETIN YA

As the recording of Zr'Ahgloth ended, Thr'aloy quietly stepped back as soon as Grak'tona made his first interjection:

  • Grak'tona - LISSEN HOMIES. I KNO WES ALL IN A BAD SPOT RITE NOW SO I DECLARE DAT DERES ONLY ONE REEL WAY OUT OF DIS. DA REEL WAY IS FOR DA TOURNAMENT TA HAPPEN BUT I CULD NOT POSSIBLY RAISE MA ARMS AGENST MA FAVORITE ROYAL SUBJEKTS DAT HAV BEEN DERE FER ME FER MA WHOL LIFE. IN ORDA TA GET DA POISON DA LEGIT WAY, DA KING MUS MAKE SACRIFICES FER HIS PEEPZ. SO DA KING MUST TAKE DA SWORD AN DIE IN DA TOURNAMENT SO DAT HIS BOYZ CAN LIV ON
  • Fre'kloar - ...wow. dats da nicest fing ya eva said
  • Grak'tona - no... its da nicest fing YOO eva sed. AS OF TODAY I STEP DOWN AS KING AN APPOINT FREKLOAR. GO KIK HIS ASS AN GET DA ANTIDOTE SO I CAN LIV
  • Fre'kloar - ...MAN SCROO YOO. YOO AND YA STOOPID CROWN AR STOOPID
  • Grak'tona - YA MOM. TEEM GRAKTONA IS GONNA WIN DA TOURNAMENT AN KIK ALL YOR SORRY ASSES!!!!!
  • Hagto'Zhl - LISSEN I DONT CARE. ALL I WANT IS A: NO POISON IN ME. AND B: SMASH THR'ALOYS TEEF IN. ANYFIN DAT GETS IN MA WAY IS TOAST
  • Jol'kiar - YEH??? WELL I DONT FINK YOR QUALIFIED TA TAKE CHARG. IN FACT NONE OF YOO YUNGUNS IS QUALIFIED CEPT ME AN FREKLOAR AN TBH I DONT KNO IF I TRUST HIM EITHA. SO IM GONNA WIN DA TOURNAMENT AN GET DA ANTIDOTE
  • Fed'koppa - MAN YOO LOT IS ALL UNRULY AND IRRESPONSIBUL. ONLY DA FORCES OF LAW CAN SAVE DA DAY. IE I WIN DA TOURNAMENT AND GET DA ANTIDOTE AND SMASH TH'ALOYS FACE
  • Grak'tona - DA FORCES OF LAW SAY DA KING IS DA BEST. AN DA KING IS TEMPORARILY NOT ME WHIL FREKLOAR GETS TA TAKE DA SWORD FER ME AN GO DOWN IN HISTORY AS DA NOBLEST SACRIFICIAL LAMB EVA. SO YA BEST SHUT YA MOUTH
  • Fre'kloar - GRAK SHUT YA MOUFF BEFOR I POP A VEIN IM SO MAD RITE NAO
  • Grak'tona - YEH???? IVE BEEN MAD EVA SINCE I BEET YOO UP AN WAS NOBLE ENUFF TA LET YOO JOIN MA CAUSE INSTED OF EXECUT YOO RITE DERE. YOR ALL UNWORTHY OF EVEN LICKIN MA ROYAL BOOTS AN I NEVA SHULD HAV LET ANY OF YA JOIN
  • Hagto'Zhl - OK DATS IT. IM GONNA KILL EVERYUN HEER. cept rayloth ill jus knok him out
  • Ray'loth -gee fanks
  • Fre'kloar - YOO SUK HAGTO. EVA SINCE YOO SHOWED UP YOOV BEEN TRYNA UNDAMINE MY AUTHORITY AN I ONLY EVA LET YOO JOIN COZ I FELT BAD. MAN YOR DA WORST AN YOO OFFEND ME BY REMINDIN ME OF ZRAHGLOTH
  • Hagto'Zhl - YOR HAVIN A LAFF. YOOD BE NOWHERE WITHOUT ME!!!!! ALL OF YOO!!!!
  • Jol'kiar - NON OF YOO WULD BE ANYWHER WIVOUT ME!!!! AN GUESS WAT. OF ALL MY STUDENTS YOOV BEEN DA WORST. AT LEEST GRATZKAOZ BECAME SCARY AN ZRAHGLOTH BECAME DA LORON LEEDA. YOO LOT JUS GOT INTO A BUNCHA STOOPID WARS AN FAILED DEN BECAME SPACE PIRATES
  • Fre'kloar - WOW OK DEN NAO I WISH YOO STAYED DED BAK WHEN I KIKKED YOR ASS!!!!
  • Jol'kiar - AN LOOK HOW FAR YA GOT WEN I WAS DED. YOO BECAME AN EDGELORD EMO WHINA AN DEN ALMOST GOT DA ROGUE BOYZ REKT UNTIL YA CAME BAK BEGGIN FER ME TA SAVE YOO!!!!
  • Fed'koppa - YOR ALL CRIMINAL SCUM. WHEN I WIN DA TOURNAMENT IMMA MOUNT YA HEDS ON MA SHIP
  • Traz'raka - YEH!!!! YOR ALL CRIMINAL SCUM AN HES GONNA MOUNT YA HEDS ON HIS SHIP!!!! TEEM FEDKOPPA IS DA BEST!!!!
  • Kunni'ghan - uhhh-
  • Knar'gank - nah nah dont say anyfin
  • Gol'thabex - WELL I SAY TEEM HAGTO IS DA BEST. FREKLOAR IS A BAD BOSS, JOLKIAR IS OLD AN SENILE, NO ONE CARES WAT GRAK SAYS, AN FEDKOPPA IS A COP. TEEM HAGTO FOR LIFE!!!!
  • Ray'loth - MAN WHAI DID I SIT WIV JOLKIAR AND NOT WIV HAGTO??? I WANNA BE ON HIS TEEM
  • Jol'kiar - DONT WORRY BOUT HAGTO MAN I HERD DAT HE SECRETLY WAS MAD YOO NEVA BECAME AS GOOD A HENCHMAN AS THRALOY. AN HE SED YOR GF SMELLED BAD
  • Ray'loth - WAT???? OK IN DAT CASE IM TEEM JOLKIAR FER NAO ON!!!!
  • Brag'klogga - SO AM I CUS HES OLD LIKE ME AND WE GRANDPAS GOTTA STIKK TOGETHA. or somfin idunno
  • Jol'kiar - WIV DA BEST SHAMAN AN DA BEST WARBOSS ON MY SIDE DERES LITERALLY NO WAY WE CAN LOOS. WES GETTIN DA ANTIDOTE AN YOO LOT CAN CRY ABOUT IT

Drizz'pyrokirk chuckled as he started flexing his muscles.

  • Drizz'pyrokirk - well i for one am glad i DIDNT sit wiv graktona. TIRED OF BEIN ASSOCIATED WIV DAT IDIOT. HE NEVA HAD ANY GAINS PLUS HES SUPA ANNOYIN. TEEM FREKLOAR GOOOOO
  • Grak'tona - I ONLY KEPT YOO AROUND ALL DOSE YEERS BECUZ I EXECUTED MA BEST SUBJECT AFTA HE ATE DA ROYAL SLICE OF KINGLY KING PIZZA DAT WASNT FOR HIM. YOOV BEEN A DISAPPOINTMENT EVA SINCE. MY TEEMS DA BEST!!!!
  • Voa'reak - YEH MAN GRAK IS DA REEL KING AN HES INVINCIBRU. NON OF YOO LOT IS LOL
  • Zalk'don - I LIKE GRAK BEST CUS HE HAS A CROWN AND DAT KINDA SORTA LOOKS LIKE MA HELMET. WES HAT HOMIES
  • Naktor'zak - SHUT UP STOOPID BOOM BOY FREKLOAR IS DA BEST HE LET ME HAV DIS TANK (OF WHICH I AM IN BTW). DO ANY OF YOO GET TA BE IN A TANK???? COURS NOT!!!! TEEM FREKLOAR IS SIK
  • Kal'kuir - MA WIFE CULD BUILD A BETTA TANK IF YOO WERENT SUCH A DUMASS ABOUT WANTIN TA STAY IN DAT ONE. YOR TEEM SUKS. ITS ALL ABOUT TEEM HAGTO!!!!
  • Gol'thabex - YEH. TEEM HAGTO IS FOR GANGSTAS WHO TAKE NO CRAP FROM NO ONE. WES DA BEST
  • Knar'gank - somfin still smells fishy about da whol fing...
  • Fed'koppa - WELL I DONT WANNA BE A TEEM WIV CRIMINALS BUT IF I GOTTA DEN I WILL. YOO GUYS BETTA DO AS I SAY OR IMMA BONK YA WIV MA NITESTIK
  • Traz'raka - DA MAFIA APPROVS OF DIS COP. CORRUPT COPS IS BEST COPS
  • Fed'koppa - WAT DA HELL IM NOT CORRUPT-
  • Kunni'ghan - GRUUUUMBLEEEE!!!!!

Seeing the entire party had descended into madness and chaos, Thr'aloy returned to the table with one final announcement.

  • Thr'aloy - A SHUTTLE WILL NOW TAKE YOO IN YOR TEEMS TO YOR QUARTAS ON DA DETHZONE STASHON. TOMORROW YOO PREPARE FER YA FIRST BATTLE. UNFORTUNATELY IM TOLD DAT YOO HAV TA BE TAKEN TO DA MED BAY AN NOT AKSHULLY KILLED IF YOO FAIL ANY OF YOR MISHONS BUT ONCE YOR DERE YOR OUT DA TOURNAMENT. AN YOR ONLY CHANCE OF SURVIVAL WILL BE IF YA TEEM GETS DA ANTIDOTE LOL
  • Voa'reak - so da dethzone has no deth? FALSE ADVERTISIN
  • Thr'aloy - REMEMBA WEN I KIKED YOR ASS IN DA FIRST LORON STORY??? YEH I REMEMBA. YOO WAS ALL "YOR ALWAYS GONNA BE BENEETH ME FEET!!!" DEN I REKT YAS
  • Voa'reak - BRUH I CAME BAK AND KILLED YA PARTNA DONT PRETEND I DIDNT WIN IN DA END
  • Thr'aloy - WELL I FOR ONE HOPE YOO DONT GET DA ANTIDOTE AN YOO DIE IN DA MEDBAY. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
  • Voa'reak - SMH HAO RUDE
  • Fre'kloar - LADS LETS WIN DIS TOURNAMENT. CANT BELEEV DAT I EVA LIKED ANY OF DOSE GEEZAS. WELL I WONT MISS DEM WEN I WIN
  • Jol'kiar - AN I WONT MISS YOO!!! DISAPPOINTMENT!!!!

As the Loron scoffed and left to their various shuttles, their anger at Zr'Ahgloth had mostly subsided in place of an anger toward one another. Having been close friends for several decades, it was much more hurtful than any of them would like to admit to hear just how little their comrades and allies thought of one another, and how easily they turned against each other over the tournament.

Every one of them was determined to win, and to get back at their old friends.

Just before he joined his team in the shuttle to his quarters, Knar'gank opened a small hologram in his hand to contact both Rel'larutinas.

  • Rel'larutina - You called? You're late! What's happening there?
  • Knar'gank - ...well...

Knar'gank recounted all the events to her: the toast, the tournament, the poison, and the huge fallout that led many of them to no longer speak to one another.

  • Alt-Rel'larutina - Volzara's sake...
  • Rel'larutina - I knew it was a trap, but... ugh. Not sure this could be any worse. Keep in touch.
  • Knar'gank - will do

As they headed towards their quarters, they embarked on what would be one of the most heartbreaking and personal battles they have endured.

The Announcer

As the shuttles left Grenzaar to transport the groups to their respective quarters on the station where they would be held, the different groups still felt a huge amount of anger and resentment towards one another. Many were disgusted that the leedas they'd known and respected, sometimes grudgingly, for so long had so quickly turned on them. Fre'kloar, in particular, tried to mask how hurt and upset he was by Jol'kiar's words by instead just being furious and angry.

The shuttle journey took them to a space station out in the middle of deep space, far away from Grenzaar and in an unknown corner of the Ottzello Sector. As they were approaching their destination, with Fre'kloar's being the first to arrive, a hologram of a vaguely familiar Loron appeared before them with a message.

  • ??? - SUP TEEM FREKLOAR
  • Fre'kloar - DA HELL DO YA WANT?? IM REELY NOT IN DA MOOD ATM
  • ??? - IM HEER TA GREET DA NOO CHALLENGAS BEFOR I INTRODUC DEM ON DA FEELD. I FORT ID GET TA KNO DA TEEM FIRST
  • Fre'kloar - OK FINE. YOR LOOKIN AT DA BEST TEEM DATS GONNA SMASH ALL DA OTHA STOOPID TEEMS WHOS FULL OF LOSAS
  • ??? - I LIKE DAT ATTITUD. OH AN DO YA HAV ANY SONG REQUESTS WHIL YOR FITIN
  • Fre'kloar - wait we get ta pikk da soundtrak??
  • ??? - well yeh kinda but its only songs by me. OH AN I SHULD MENSHON WHO IS

The hologram of the Loron smiled, revealing many of his golden teeth, as the three members of Fre'kloar's team recognized him: it was the famed Loron rap star, Flo'Sikka. His attire was entirely different, as he wore a black leather jacket with spikes on his shoulders, entirely different from what he normally wore.

  • Flo'Sikka - IM DA BEST LORON MUSICIAN DERE IS. FLOSIKKA
  • Fre'kloar - YOOOOOOOOO FLO'SIKKA???? FOR REEL????
  • Drizz'pyrokirk - OI DOOD I HAV ALL YA ALBUMS I LISSEN TA DEM WHIL ON MA DAILY JOGS
  • Naktor'zak - YEH AND I GOT A BOOMBOX INSIDE MA TANK DAT PLAYS YA TUNES
  • Flo'Sikka - PRESHIATE IT. THO I SHULD MENSHON I DONT RAP ANYMOR LOL
  • Fre'kloar - MAN WHAI NOT??? YOR DA BEST RAPPA EVA
  • Flo'Sikka - well see i WAS but den whil zrahgloth was president i made a diss trak agenst him an it kinda bommed ma career. an afta zrahgloth died all da fans got mad at mecoz dey fort i was disrespektful. so i had ta change genres
  • Fre'kloar - dats lame. so yor part of dis whol challenj fingy nao?
  • Flo'Sikka - im not a challenga maself but im da announca fer da event. ALSO ALL MA NOO MUSIC PLAYS DURIN IT. WANNA HEER A DEMO OF MA NOO SONG???

Before the Loron could even answer, Flo'Sikka pulled out an oversized electric guitar from his jacket and began playing an extremely loud song that could be heard echoing throughout their shuttle.

  • Flo'Sikka - RULES OF NATUR!!!!!!! AN DEY RUN WEN DA SUN COMS UP
  • Drizz'pyrokirk - da hell dis sounds familiar. DID YA REELY MAKE DIS???
  • Flo'Sikka - shhhhhhh
  • Naktor'zak - well wateva da case we get ta lissen ta gud music as we RUN OVA ALL DA DUMBOS
  • Flo'Sikka - nice ok. ONE LAST FING. WAT STATEMENT WULD YOO LIKE TA GIV TO DA PRESS IN RESPONSE TO DA LATEST CHARACTA ATTAK ON FREKLOAR COMIN FROM JOLKIAR?
  • Fre'kloar - YA CAN TELL DEM I DONT NEED DAT OLD FART ANYMOR CUS IM BETTA AND STRONGA DAN HIM AND I BEET HIM UP ONCE AND CAN DO IT AGEN HE BEST NOT TEST MA PATIENCE. IM DA PROPA BIG BOSS ROUND HEER!!!!!
  • Flo'Sikka - OK COOL I CAN RUN WIV DAT. FANKS FER DA EXCLUSIV INTAVIEW AN ILL SEE YOO IN DA ARENA

Flo'Sikka's hologram left, as Fre'kloar's group landed to arrive at their quarters.


Meanwhile, Hagto'Zhl, having just landed on another part of the space station, settled in his own living quarters. The Loron on his team were each given fairly spacious rooms with a large kitchen and lounge area, similar to a luxury apartment, but all had to share one bedroom. The quarters were suspended atop a floating glass platform overlooking the rest of the station below them, where the main arena was located in a sphere at the center.

As Hagto'Zhl and his team had just moved in, they too received a hologram message from Flo'Sikka.

  • Flo'Sikka - SO WAT DO YA MAKE OF DA LIVIN QUARTAS??? I MEEN NOT LIKE YOO HAV MUCH CHOICE COS YOR NOT ALLOWED TA LEEV LOL
  • Hagto'Zhl - YEH KEEP RUBBIN IT AND YOR GONNA WISH ID STAY HEER. ANYWAY IT WORKS
  • Kal'kuir - NOT FAIR MAN MA OWN ROOM ISNT DIS BIG. WHAI CANT I HAV A BIG ROOM???
  • Gol'thabex - yood hav more space if ya didnt keep hoardin a bunch of useless crap in ya room. deres like a mountain of scrap metal yoo NEVA use
  • Kal'kuir - BUT WAT IF I NEED IT LATA????
  • Flo'Sikka - HURHUR GOOD DAT YOO HAV SPACE. KALKUIR CAN HAV ACCESS TO DA LAB ON FLOOR 35 TA MAKE WEPONS IF HE WANTS. ESPESHULLY IF DA CROWD DEMANDS IT. WHICH TBH DEY WILL BECUZ DA ONES YOO BROUGHT DONT LOOK DAT INTERESTIN
  • Kal'kuir - FIRST OF ALL WHAI DIDNT YA TELL ME YOO LOT HAV A LAB???? SECOND SHUT UP MA GUNZ IS DA SIKKEST
  • Flo'Sikka - NORMALLY I WULD WRIT A DISS TRAK AGENST YA FOR DAT BUT I DONT RAP ANYMOR AN I DONT KNO HOW TO MAKE A DISS TRAK WIV ELECTRIC GUITARS LOL
  • Hagto'Zhl - i was always a betta rappa dan yoo anyway lmao
  • Flo'Sikka - man yoo an zrahgloth were both ma worst opponents. AN ZRAHGLOTH RUINED MA CAREER
  • Hagto'Zhl - yeh reel sad. ANYWAY WHEN DO I GET TA BEET DA OTHAS UP TIL DEY CRY ON CAMERA?
  • Flo'Sikka - YOR MATCH COMES STRAIGHT AFTA TEEM JOLKIAR. FIRST OFF I NEED YOO TA GIV A STATEMENT TO DA PRESS ABOUT WHY GRAKTONAS MOMS UGLY
  • Hagto'Zhl - hurhur dat so? ok den. GRAKTONAS MOM WAS A FAT UGLY COW WHO PROBS LET EVERYUN HAV DEIR WAY WIV HER. TOTAL TOWN BYCICLE. ALSO GRAKTONAS A FAT IDIOT AND IM GONNA MAKE SUR TA SMASH HIS CROWN IN FRONT OF HIM BEFOR I KILL HIM
  • Flo'Sikka - WORKS FER ME. AN PLZ REMEMBA TA PUT IN SONG RECOMMENDASHONS BEFOR YA FITE. PEECE
  • Hagto'Zhl - YEH OK. KALKUIR GO TO DA LAB AND MAKE SIK GUNZ. GOL YOO PIKK DA SONG CUS I CBA ATM LMAO
  • Gol'thabex - hur works fer me

As team Jol'kiar settled into their own quarters, they had a very similar living situation to Hagto'Zhl's team, but were on opposite ends of the space station. Already as soon as they had moved in, Brag'klogga had put together a shrine to Zr'An and K'ar with several candles surrounding a small statue of the two godz, where Brag'klogga was rapping about the godz under his breath.

Unnerved by what surrounded him, Ray'loth was twitching. Brag'klogga was deep in his "prayers" to the two gods, while Jol'kiar was sat in silence, still angry at Fre'kloar. Just before Ray'loth was about to speak up, a hologram of Flo'Sikka appeared.

  • Flo'Sikka - AN OVA HEER WE HAV OUR NEX TEEM: TEEM JOLKIAR. AKA DA CRAZI OLD GEEZA TEEM PLUS RAYLOTH FER SOM REESON. SUP PEEPZ
  • Brag'klogga - DONT INTERRUPT DA PRAYAS TO DA GODZ. ZR'AN AND K'AR WILL BLESS DA BEST TEEM AND SHOW EVERYON HAO DA OTHA LORONZ IS A BUNCH OF THIKOS
  • Ray'loth - all dis waitin is KILLIN me. i jus wanna go out dere and SMASH THRALOY INTO PIECES. and da othas too if dey get in ma way
  • Flo'Sikka - DA ONLY GOOD PRAYAS TO DA GODZ AR DA ONES DAT I WROT. shame dat ma gospel music album didnt sell dat well tho
  • Brag'klogga - HERESI. BE SILENT FOR YOO HAV DA DUM IN YOO
  • Jol'kiar - ...lissen jus get dis ova wiv alredi. im not in da mood for conversashon
  • Flo'Sikka - oh?? an why is DAT den

Jol'kiar kept his arms crossed and his eyes closed as he did not move from the spot.

  • Jol'kiar - frekloar lost his way. he turned his bak on tradishon. hes doin everyfin i taught him NOT to do and flauntin it. yoo dont jus say dose fings to ya menta, its jus wrong. i hav ta teech everyun watchin dis tournament dat dis is WRONG. YOO HAV TA RESPEKT YA ELDAS.
  • Flo'Sikka - i feel ya pain. evrytime dese new rappas com out wiv disses agenst me im like "mate??? but yor whol style was stolen from me???" anywayz fanks fer givin a statement to da press. YOR FITE WILL BE ON STRAIGHT AFTA TEEM GRAKTONA
  • Brag'klogga - HE WILL FAIL FOR HE IS NOT BLESSED!!!! HE JUS WEARS A STOOPID CROWN AN CALLS HIMSELF KING??? I NEVA UNDASTOOD DAT
  • Flo'Sikka - WE WILL ASK DAT TO HIM NEX. PEECE OUT LADS

Grak'tona's living quarters were located at the very bottom of the space station, also suspended on a platform separately from anyone else. What was different about his was that his quarters were ice cold. Kept in below freezing conditions specifically for the king, unlike the others, Grak'tona had a throne made of ice for him in his room, which took up most of the space from the other two.

As his other teammates struggled to stay warm in the cold temperatures, Flo'Sikka surprised them by appearing on hologram.

  • Flo'Sikka - NOW WE GET TA TEEM GRAKTONA. DA TEEM WIV DA KING IN IT. SUP LADS
  • Grak'tona - DA KING GREETS YOO. HE IS PLEESED BY YOR ACCOMODASHONS
  • Voa'reak - DIS PLACE SUKS THO?????
  • Zalk'don - WHAI DA HELL IS IT SO COLD IN HEER??? I CANT FEEL MA TOES
  • Flo'Sikka - GRAKTONA WAS DA ONLY ONE DAT PUT IN REQUESTS FER HIS APARTMENT. DA REST OF YOO DIDNT BOTHA
  • Voa'reak - WAT DA HELL I THOUGHT DAT PAPA WAS JUS SOM RANDOM AD
  • Zalk'don - OK FINE DEN. VOA LETS FIND SOM FURNITURE TA SET ON FIRE
  • Grak'tona - STOOPID BODYGUARDS DONT YA SET DA ROYAL ROOM ON FIRE I SWER. MAN DA HELL UP!!!!
  • Flo'Sikka - SPEEKIN OF FIRE, DERES A NEW SONG IN MA ALBUM WRITTEN ABOUT YOO
  • Grak'tona - OH YEH? BEST BE GUD OR ITS OFF WIV YA HED
  • Flo'Sikka - IT GOES "DA UNENLIGHTENED MASSES, DEY CANNOT MAKE DA JUDGEMENT CALL..." AN ITS ABOUT A KING except i called da king arm'strong insted
  • Grak'tona - hmmmm ok i like da themes. WE CAN JUS SAY DAT KING IS ME FLEXIN MA MUSCLES LOL
  • Flo'Sikka - YEH EXACTLY. SPEEKIN OF WHICH YOO WAS RECENTLY TARNISHED IN DA PRESS BY TEEM HAGTO. HE SED A BUNCHA STUFF ABOUT YA MOM. WAT DO YA SAY IN RESPONS

Grak'tona bashed the arms of his throne in anger.

  • Grak'tona - NOBODY SPEEKS OF DA LEGENDARY QUEEN MOTHA OF KING GRAK'TONA LIKE DAT!!! HAGTO IS JUS SOM CREEP WHO USED TA BE MA ROYAL BODYGUARD BUT AFTA HE HAD DA NERVE OF DISSIN ME HE HAS BEEN FIRED. EVERYON WHOS NOT PART OF MA TEEM IS A LOSA FORMA BODYGUARD WHO WAS NEVA AKSHULLY USEFUL I JUS KEPT DEM AROUND OUT DA GUDNESS OF MA HEART CUS IM SO EMPATHIC. BUT DISRESPEKT DA KING AND ITS OFF WIV YA HED!!!!!
  • Flo'Sikka - GOOD RESPONSE MATE. YOO AR ON IN DA NEX FITE. I WISH YA LUK MAN
  • Grak'tona - DIS VICTORYS ALREDI IN DA BAG. EVERYUN WILL WATCH DA KING FLEX ON DA PESANTS

Fed'koppa's living quarters were also located at the bottom of the station, though these were the most plain of all. Fed'koppa immediately made the place his home by taking up all space on the desk in the living room, filling it with paperwork and documents for his typical police duties. Meanwhile, Traz'raka made use of his own desk in the bedroom and used it to count his money.

Knar'gank and Kunni'ghan, on the other hand, were bonding on the coach as they began telling one another stories of their lives of crime. This irritated Fed'koppa all throughout, but he nonetheless kept going through his files inquisitively. Midway through, Flo'Sikka appeared on hologram.

  • Flo'Sikka - DA EVIL COP TEEM IS UP NEX!!!! SUP LADS
  • Fed'koppa - WHO IS YOO CALLIN EVIL????? IM A PENUMBRAN YA IDIOT. A SERVANT OF DA COUNCIL
  • Flo'Sikka - AN DEYZ NOT GONNA SAVE YOO LOL. YOR LIKE A MILLION MILES FRUM HYPABOREA
  • Fed'koppa - YA FINK IM SCARED OF SOM TRYHARDS GOIN AT ME WIV SOM STOOPID GAMES? IVE BEEN THRU ALL SORTS OF MISHONS DIS IS NOFFIN
  • Flo'Sikka - MAN DAT AKSHULLY SOUNDS KINDA SIK. I USED TA WRITE RAPS DISSIN DA COPS BUT UPON MEETIN ONE YOR KINDA IMPRESSIV
  • Fed'koppa - IM DA BEST OF DA BEST. I WAS DERE WHEN WE KILLED DA MONSTA LEEDIN DA CREEPY PLANTS. AND I WAS DERE WHEN WE KILLED DA GIANT SNEK CULTIST BOSS. IM A PRO WAR VETERAN
  • Flo'Sikka - WATS IT LIKE WORKIN WIV DA CRIMINALS DAT YOO FORMALY WANTED BEHIND BARS
  • Fed'koppa - WHO SEZ I STOPPED WANTIN IT??? ONCE IM OUT OF HEER YOR ALL UNDA ARREST
  • Flo'Sikka - NICE OK. ANYWAYZ I DUNNO IF YOO HERD DA NOOS BUT HAGTOZHL JUS RELEESED A STATEMENT ABOUT HOW YA MOMS UGLY AN YA DAD STINKS. WAT DO YOO SAY IN RESPONS

Fed'koppa's eyes narrowed for a moment, before he rose from his seat, pointing a finger at the hologram of Flo'Sikka.

  • Fed'koppa - I FINK HAGTOZHL IS STILL A PAWN TO WATEVA DISGUSTIN CORRUPTUS DEEMUN SPAWNED HIM AND DAT HIM AND HIS ILK SHULD ALL BE EXECUTED. DEYZ A BLIGHT TO DA OONIVERS
  • Flo'Sikka - AGREED. AS DA ONE WHO WROTE DA RAP ABOUT HOW DA CORRUPTUS IS UGLY LOSAS I HATE DEM TOO. FANKS FER YA TIME AN YOR DA LAST TEEM TONITE
  • Fed'koppa - FINE WATEVA LEMME WORK

As Flo'Sikka's hologram disappeared, Fed'koppa resumed his detective work, with the others looking at him curiously. Traz'raka eventually pulled himself away from his desk to approach Fed'koppa with a question:

  • Traz'raka - i meen i kno yoo hate da corruptus but like??? yoo dont even kno hagtozhl

Fed'koppa simply rose a finger, as if gesturing Traz'raka to be quiet as he suspiciously eyed the room from side to side, until he finally responded.

  • Fed'koppa - i jus sed wat he wanted ta heer. i dont AKSHULLY meen wat i said (ok maybe i do a bit but dats not important)
  • Kunni'ghan - grumble grumble GRUMBLE?
  • Knar'gank - yeh i feel da same way. somfin weirds goin on heer
  • Fed'koppa - dis is a setup. a trap of som kind. its not da first time i investigate somfin like dis: yoo got a mouff piece gettin yoo ta say stoof yoo dont want othas ta lissen and dey use it ta blakmail ya. dat flo'sikka guy is tryin ta play us
  • Knar'gank - hmmm i fink i kno wats goin on

Knar'gank darted to grab the TV remote and turned it on.

  • Kunni'ghan - GRUMBLE GRUMBLE GRUMBLE
  • Knar'gank - YES I WAS HIDIN IT FRUM YAS BECUZ I DIDNT WANT YA WATCH DOSE STOOPID SITCOMS ABOUT ELF MOMMIES. anywayz look at dis

As Knar'gank scrolled through the channels, he eventually arrived on the one where Flo'Sikka was interviewing them.

  • Flo'Sikka (recording) - NICE OK. ANYWAYZ I DUNNO IF YOO HERD DA NOOS BUT HAGTOZHL JUS RELEESED A STATEMENT ABOUT HOW YA MOMS UGLY AN YA DAD STINKS. WAT DO YOO SAY IN RESPONS
  • Fed'koppa (recording) - I FINK HAGTOZHL IS STILL A PAWN TO WATEVA DISGUSTIN CORRUPTUS DEEMUN SPAWNED HIM AND DAT HIM AND HIS ILK SHULD ALL BE EXECUTED. DEYZ A BLIGHT TO DA OONIVERS
  • Flo'Sikka (recording) - WOW MAN HARSH WORDS. DA CORRUPTUS MAY BE LOSAS BUT GIVIN US DA DARK LORONZ IS ONE OF DA BEST FINGS DEY DID. YOO WILL REGRET DIS DAY
  • Fed'koppa - FINE WATEVA LEMME WORK

Knar'gank then turned off the TV and looked towards the others with a smug impression.

  • Knar'gank - see?? hes editin da footage. TRYNA SPIN A NARRATIV HEER
  • Traz'raka - man dats scummy as hell. dats da kinda stoof ya see da mafia do
  • Fed'koppa - i knew it was a trap. deyz doin it on purpose ta make everyun hate eech otha
  • Kunni'ghan - grumble grumble grumble GRUMBLE
  • Knar'gank - hmm im not sur about dat
  • Traz'raka - wats he grumblin about? MAN YA REELY NEED TA WORK ON YA ACCENT
  • Kunni'ghan - GRUMBLE GRUMBLE grumble grumble ya mom grumble grumble GRUMBLE
  • Knar'gank - HES SAYIN HE FINKS THRALOY IS TRYNA DISTRACT US FRUM BEIN MAD AT HIM BY MAKIN US MAD AT EECH OTHA
  • Fed'koppa - hmmm culd be da case. but dat eint gonna work on me. i dont care if hes a war hero in uro im gonna thro dat guys ass in jail
  • Knar'gank - well see i fink dats PART of it but i fink deres a moar sinista plot goin on heer. an idk about yoo but i intend ta find out wat it is
  • Traz'raka - ME AND LIL HOMIE REFUSE TA BE MANIPULATED. WES GONNA GET TO DA BOTTOM OF DIS
  • Fed'koppa - wat a conspiracy. i usually like workin on dese cases but dis one is CRAP
  • Kunni'ghan - GRUMBLE!!!! grumble grumble grumble
  • Knar'gank - yeh wat he sed
  • Fed'koppa - fine den. yoo lot keep ya eyes and eers open. wes gonna unravel dis conspiracy. AND DEN IM ARRESTIN EVERYUN
  • Knar'gank - SOUNDS GOOD TA ME. IM GONNA FIND OUT IN DA NEX MATCH HOW TA SOLVE DIS CONSPIRACY
Da Loron stoof
WEZ DA REAL LORONZ MAN DONT REED DAT UNO STOOF ITS DUM
OI BOLD MEENS SPESHUL STOOF
WE IS DA REAL COOL LORONZ DA ROGUE BOYZ IS DUM DONT REED DEM
WE IZ DA DEFFMARCH BOYZ AN WE IS DA BEST COS WE WIV DA MALI'NAR YA DUMBOS
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