da Xhoddie Boyz is a stuk up religon of false godz dat is basically just fer cultist blowhardz dats all "MA GODZ IS BETTA DAN YOR GODZ CUZ DEYZ DEMUNZ FRUM HELL" but da loronz is all "MAN SIT YO PUNK ASS DOWN BE HUMBLE" coz da LORON GODZ IS BETTA. i meen as usual typical alienz dont undastand da troof but wateva heers a few fings ya need ta kno bout da xhoddie boyz history:
da xhoddie boyz was created over a dozen dozen dozen dozen DOZEN DOZEN DOZEN DOZEN DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOZEN (deep breth) yeers ago, YES DEY REELLY IS DAT OLD, ova in Godland which is wher da Loron Godz also liv. basically deir leeda, known as Antagonar, whoops i meen known as Angazhar, was in Godland an he was da pizza delivery boy. howeva da problem was his fat ass was SO LAZY dat he neva showed up ta work, so one day he got fired. afta heerin about dis, his girlfrend Angaladyzhar dumped his ass becuz he was broke so he went all "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR" an started an emo deth metal punk rock boyband known as da Four Horsemen, which consisted of himself as singa, Draguros on da drumz, Krath-watevadahek on da guitar an Santokefka on da...urm i forgot da name but da guitar wiv only four stringz.
needless ta say dis band was nowher NEER as popular as da Loron Godz rap careers. nondaless, dey erned a loyal followin among losas who got fired an dumped or who dress in all blak an wear stoopid makeup an da kinda emos dat ya bully in high skool, so dey was at leest popula in a few cults. dis led to deir followas known as da Tandava dat always showed up to deir concerts drunk an honestly it was kinda a mess.
da important fing tho happened wen da Xhoddie Boyz took deir career to da noo level by introducin hits in dis ooniverse, which da LORON GODZ DIDNT APPROV OF, but dey got mad becuz no one eva lissened to dem as kids so dey started a war wiv da whol oonivers known as da War of Ages. at first we laffed at dem an thought dey was jokin den dey blew up da Tigris Galaxy an so we was like "rofl step to me boi" an dey came ta dis one. but becuz deez guys is wimps, dey basically sent deir screemo fans ta get us, known as Da Congregashon, which frum dis point on will be known as Da Asskissas becuz no one can spell dat name. Da Asskissas succeeded in fitin da Krassio Dumbos an all deir allies becuz da loronz wasnt involved.
ova a dozen yeers lata, da War of Ages begun in a war wiv da entire ooniverse, in which as is well known by all scholars, da loronz won, an anyfin statin othawise is fake news. basically da Asskissas summoned da Xhoddie Boyz' deemun fans, known as da Samut'angar, which frum now on will be referred to as "Da Moshpit Groopies", an den dey started fitin evryfin, den dey had a time of PEECE (yuck) known as da Cold War, becuz dey got scared wen dey found out wat ooniverse dey was in. da Loronz ended da Cold War by throwin a rock at da depressed Angazhar, who got so mad dat he threw da whol ooniverse inta Hell.
shortly afta dis,
Zr'Ahgloth GRATZ YA MORONZ NO IT WAS FRE'KLOAR, I SWER IF SOM VANDAL RUINZ DIS PART AGEN IMMA KNOK DEIR TEEF OUT anywayz, FRE'KLOAR went an piked up a sword known as Soul Calibur, or da Buster Sword, or da Xhodocto Bane, deres lotsa names fer it, an sliced Angazhar's hed off an da band had ta cancel deir tour. dis ended da Xhoddie Boyz once and fer all.
BUT DEIR ASSKISSAS AN CULTISTS STILL PRETEND DEYZ NOT DED AN ALSO DEY KEEP COMIN BAK. man i dunno wat dey is but dem godz is weird. anywayz as long as da Loron Godz exist deyz not gonna botha us. im akshully tempted ta go kill dem rite now...on second thoughts urm...PIZZA PARTY YEH I GOT A PIZZA PARTY TA ATTEND OK GOOD STORY BYE