DIS STORY IS STILL ONGOIN. AN STOP WHININ AT ME TA FINISH DA STORY ALREDY. WE DONT KNO HOW LONG DA PLAGUE IS GONNA LAST JAKASS
ok so yoo may have herd of Da Plague, or COVID-88, or COVID-Ova A Dozen, or wateva its called, but basically deres lots of false rumas about dis plague dat hav been circulatin fer too long so IM NOW HEER TO PUT ALL DA RUMAS TO REST AN SET DA FACTS STRAIGHT.
som peepz hav theories about how da plague started. one theory is dat dis dumass loron named Dum'ass was STILL hungry afta havin a massiv hugeass pizza so he was like "YO FAM IMMA EET A BAT" an den da bat gave him a virus dat Dum'ass den spred to da otha loronz. dat theory has been wildly debunked by credible sources such as Infowars.net and FauxNews.com so jus ignore dat. ANOTHER popula theory was dat som moronic chik named Mor'on stuk her teeth in da toasta whil tryin ta make a sandwich an den spat on her dad who sneezed an passed da virus onta othas. da source for dis theory is my ass. oh an lastly dere was dis theory dat som cell phone towers wiv 10G signal was givin peepz da virus, or dat UNO created da virus ta control da loron populashon in wat was known as Da Genophage, but dose are wrong too.
anywayz so da troo source of COVID-88, or Coronidvirus, or DA PLAGUE, was exactly wat yood expect. one day dis stoopid loron named Stoo'pid put out a blog post sayin "YO FAM IMMA KNOK OUT DA PROPA BIG BOSS FREKLOAR AN BE DA BIGGEST BOSS BOSS BOSS" an rallied a buncha loronz to his side, so da godz Zr'An an K'ar looked at one anotha like "ar yoo FREEKIN KIDDIN ME??? WE CANT WRITE ANOTHA LORON STORY MAN WE GOT OTHA STOOF TA DO LIKE DAT ONE ZARGOTH STORY YA KEEP TAKIN AGES TA WRITE" an decided ta punish da loronz by instillin on dem da Coronidvirus Plague. dis killed Stoo'pid but den it had otha effects.
SIDE NOTE OF DA STORY: IF YOO HAVE EXPERIENCED ANY ONE OF DA FOLLOWIN SYMPTONS:
- EXPERIENCIN A WARM BODY TEMPERATUR
- COUGHIN BADLY (YOO BEST NOT COFF ON MY PIZZA OR IMMA RIP YA HED OFF)
- HAVIN TROUBLE BREETHIN
DEN GO SEE YOR NEEREST QUAK DOCTA IMMEDIATELY. DONT TRUST DA CHIK DOCTAS AS DEY AR WELL KNOWN TO BE RESPONSIBLE FER SPREDIN DA VIRUS. ONLY TRUST DOCTAS DAT OFFA QUAK MEDICINE SUCH AS INJECTIN BLEECH
rite so bak to da story, da Plague was a weird one becuz like 99% of peepz survive it an only 1% died. da rest culd still becom hospitalized an unable ta fite fer a long period of time but even den dats only 20% of peepz. so wen da plague got outta hand, Fre'kloar did a statement like "YO FAM EVRYUN STAY INSIDE SO WE CAN STOP DA SPRED OF DA PLAGUE. BUT YA STILL GOTTA EXERCISE SO YA DONT BE A FATASS. BUT STAY INSIDE." dis was a little confusin but if yoo fink about it, 1+1 = 3, an 3 /2 is 4, an 4 x 9 is OVA A DOZEN, so it akshully makes sense. da virus tended ta most commonly spred in places like colosseum deff matches, pizza and rap parties, prayer sesshuns fer Zr'An an K'ar, an orgy parties wiv chikz.
dere were som difficulties controll da virus tho. one theory pushed by a buncha idiot loronz led by a geeza named Id'iot said "DA PLAGUE IS A HOAX. IT DOESNT EXIST. STOP BEIN AFRAID". dis geeza was probably a Roz'Tah'Flok worshippa so it makes sense dat he was an utta idiot, an fun fact he akshully died of da plague lol. afta a while, Kal'kuir, bein da genius dat he is, was like "I HAV INVENTED DIS EXCELLENT DEVICE DAT CAN PROTECT YOO FRUM DA VIRUS" (dont lissen to da FAKE NEWS dat he stole da idea frum anotha loron) an singlehandedly saved da loronz: dis was known as da face mask, a piece of cloth dat ya put on so peepz culd akshully go ta stores.
atm da chikz tell me dat dey is workin on a vaccine, which is wen ya stab a shanka in ya arm but insted of hurtin yoo it protects yoo frum an illness, cool i guess. if ya ask me dey shuld HURRY UP WIV IT cuz deyz takin too long, i had a massage scheduled in a cuple dayz dat i had ta cancel coz of dis STOOPID PLAGUE an im pretty pissed off tbh. anywayz da moral of da story is NEVA DISRESPECT DA GODZ or sumfin idk