“da loronz is made fer one fing: SMASH ALL DEIR DUM FOES. we iz da best fightas in da ooniverse an anyone who dares ta fink othawise is gonna be STOMPED an ROASTED. da boyz is da best. nuff said.”
“Almost the absolute pinnacle of biology. The Loron are remarkable in...more ways than one.”
The Loron are a brutish, uncivilized, and highly warlike race of space barbarians, pirates, and thugs from the late Ottzello Galaxy, currently the Ottzello Sector of the Borealis Galaxy. A massively populous species, the Loron have been major or sole members of many organizations in the First Gigaquadrant, most notably the Union Republic of Ottzello and Da Rogue Boyz. Loron are defined by their incredible brute strength, almost unmatched physique, extremely rapid breeding, and their notorious stupidity. Their traits have made them feared and hated soldiers, but their low intellect has often made them a source of mockery.
The Loron were originally born from a biological mutation of the arachnid Norol species (known by the Loron as "Da Chikz", and considered the female sex in their society). Creating the humanoid Loron simply as guardians to survive the remarkably harsh wildlife and climate of Groodrub, the two races lived harmoniously, with the Norol as the intelligent leaders and the Loron as the workers and fighters. However, as Loron numbers grew and their influence expanded, the harmonious society soon became dominated by Loron. Since the Norol developed spacefaring technology, they have visited every galaxy, and many subspecies of the Loron have been born.
The Loron are physically the strongest sentient race in the universe. They are able to go toe-to-toe with almost any rival and are very difficult to kill, but are simple to outsmart and to outmatch technologically. In a society surrounded by bloodshed and combat, behavior considered barbaric outside of Loron society is normal within it. The Loron are openly hostile, rarely forming friendships with alien races, and rarely showing respect for anyone who is not physically stronger than them. With a very simple hierarchy system and incredibly basic society, the Loron avoid the complications of other more developed societies, making their lack of reasoning or intelligence in a way beneficial to their society based on cultural traditions of respect for those physically stronger than them.
It has long been said that the Loron would have easily overrun and conquered much of the universe were it not for their incompetence and infighting. This theory was largely confirmed upon the discovery of an alternate timeline in which the Loron had never become stupid and had remained subservient to the Norol, in which they did indeed become the dominant universal power.
The Loron originally began as a biological evolution of the arachnid-like Norol (although the Vyro'Narza design guided much of their evolution). Created to protect the Norol from the incredibly strong creatures of Groodrub, the Loron were versatile, and incredibly capable in combat. They were not designed to be intelligent, however, and they were not required for reproduction, although Norol could use their genes to fertilize their eggs and create newer, stronger Loron if they wished.
The Loron were far more populous than the Norol, and would bring the Norol back food, construct them shelters, and more importantly, slaughter their predators. Soon, the Loron began to expand around the world, and became the most feared race on Groodrub. Early on, the Loron were still subservient to the Norol, reliant on Norol direction in all they did.
Durzhan and Kolossus, working for Zargoth in his plan to create Vyro'Ralza, tampered with the Loron psychology to give them a degree of autonomy independent of the Norol, while keeping them largely unintelligent. As such, over time, the Loron felt less and less need to work for the Norol, and very soon, the Norol were working for them.
Expanding to different civilizations over Groodrub, the Loron used the Norol as architects and scientists for them, while they built bigger cities to pay tribute to their different "bosses". The hierarchy was decided solely by which Loron was the strongest, and their leedas would align other Loron under them through respect; if they failed to achieve respect among their inferiors, the Loron would often kill the Boss in charge and take over.
The Loron's civilizations over the world were in a perpetual war. They would expand their technology, as the Norol, the Mekkas and Tekkas built greater weapons for their bosses. Eventually, Loron were kept under the rule of Flak'Toha, in Da Propa Big Loron Empire, which conquered other factions on Groodrub. He also pushed the Loron towards expansion into space, and towards colonising other worlds. Under him, many Chikz invented Da Geekz, a group of AIs meant to command Loron starcruisers, as they did not trust the Loron to pilot the starcruisers they invented.
When the Norol discovered hyperspace travel, the Loron could now spread around the Ottzello Galaxy.
The Loron began to colonize several different worlds, with the Geekz and the Norol, then known as Da Chikz, instructing them to colonise worlds. Due to the incredibly strong and adaptable Loron biology, and their incredible strength as a workforce, the Loron could construct colonies with ease. Their rapid breeding, need for food and relatively short lives (as many were doomed to die before even becoming adults) led to them conquering thousands of star systems in days, within only a few decades of expansion. Many colonists completely forgot to report back to the main empire, or even who the main empire were.
It was also around this time that Krul'Takka, a former Mekka, stabbed Flak'Toha and became the new boss. Krul'Takka was an incredibly intelligent Loron, who believed the Loron's policies needed to moderate and modernize for them to be taken seriously by other alien races. His policies were mostly based on aliens he had conquered, as the Geekz and Chikz began to translate their writings into Loroniz Spik. Krul'Takka, with stronger weapons and keeping other Loron loyal to him, expanded the Propa Big Loron Empire far beyond that of other Loron splinter factions, and it was largely under him that the Loron starship fleet were constructed, with far more powerful weapons than had been seen before.
The Loron under Krul'Takka mostly left other aliens alone, and preferred instead to attack the various Loron splinter factions. Though worlds not affiliated with the Propa Big Loron Empire's fifty thousand colonies were outnumbered two to one, the Propa Big Loron Empire could keep itself from attacking other aliens by instead fighting other Loron factions, as Krul'Takka intended the Propa Big Loron Empire to eventually grow beyond their limited intelligence and be taken seriously. Due to his weaponry and Loron Smashas as bodyguards, he was never successfully defeated, meaning that by Loron tradition - something that he himself often slandered - no Loron could replace him. This changed when a young, prodigous Loron, Zr'Ahgloth, led a splinter group directly to assassinate Krul'Takka. In close-combat, Zr'Ahgloth finally defeated Krul'Takka, restored Loron tradition and abandoned policies of not attacking aliens.
The Propa Big Loron Empire under Zr'Ahgloth were primarily responsible for the First Ottzello Galactic War. Though the galaxy was prepared for small Loron pirate groups, and minor Loron splinter groups, they were not prepared for a much more co-ordianted Loron empire with much more powerful star cruisers. The only notable and large splinter group was an allied Massiv Crew under Gratz'kaoz, which untraditionally, were allied under a collective fear of Gratz'kaoz. Most splinter groups were not involved in the First Ottzello Galactic War. The war was declared a Loron victory, though it was not settled with a treaty, but rather when it was replaced with a new war.
The Delphan Excavation War of Ottzello was a campaign by the Delpha Coalition of Planets to exterminate the Loron. The Loron initially considered the DCP their arch-nemesis, and every single splinter faction was opposed to them. This war, once again, was not officially settled, but replaced with the Second Ottzello Galactic War. The direct result of this war was for the DCP to mostly abandon and give up on Ottzello. The Loron were mostly ignored by the Kralgon Invasion Force, as the Kralgon had never been to war or interacted with the Loron before almost being brought to extinction in the Great Blyro War centuries prior to the Loron's existence.
During these times, the Loron opted to fight the Third Sovereign Domain as their new enemies, while Gratz'kaoz considered the Propa Big Loron Empire their enemies, until a new foe presented itself: Da Rogue Boyz, of Rebellion fame. Its leader, Fre'kloar, defeated Gratz'kaoz. Every splinter group at this point was now a member of Da Rogue Boyz, or had left the galaxy, severely reducing Loron fragmentation. The Rogue Boyz were unaffected by any Ottzello wars, while Da Propa Big Loron Empire, the only one the Kralgon saw possessing any value, were enslaved by the New Kralgon Empire and its System.
The Third Ottzello Galactic War kicked off, leading Da Rogue Boyz to flee to the Milky Way Galaxy. The Second War of Black Fog alos led the Propa Big Loron Empire under the Kralgon to fight against the Loron'Kikra under Hagto'Zhl, and later against the Corruptus. Meanwhile, the Third Ottzello War led to the freedom of the Propa Big Loron Empire, only for them to be taken over by the Unified Nation of Ottzello. Already possessing intense dislike for Zr'Ahgloth, Da Rogue Boyz swore to destroy the Unified Nation.
After the Annihilation, the Ottzello Galaxy was destroyed. Following UNO and other Ottzelloans, the Rogue Boyz travelled the universe, before settling in the Ottzello Sector in the Borealis Galaxy. While various Loron subspecies were now found around the universe, the Loron were typically led under Fre'kloar, who had now made peace with Hagto'Zhl, or Zr'Ahgloth under Da Rogue Boyz and UNO, later Union Republic of Ottzello, respectively.
During Time's Terminus, Loron from an alternate timeline invaded the prime galaxy, and both Da Rogue Boyz and the Union Republic joined forces to defeat them. This led to the death of Zr'Ahgloth, but also to the ultimate victory of the prime timeline's Loron.
Loron are ugly, violent, barbaric and unintelligent creatures with an incredibly robust physique and rapid regeneration rate. Natural fighters with genes geared for combat, a single Loron arm has the average energy of 10,000J (joules), with two Loron arms averaging 18,000J; this means a single Loron punch can break bones and penetrate metal plates. They are also incredibly tough, with their skull thick enough to absorb most bullets, their skin almost as tough as an exoskeleton on most species, and thus able to withstand tremendous punishment that would kill most creatures from pain alone. Prolonged experience in and exposure to conflict is believed to be the evolutionary reason for the Loron's advancement.
Loron genes evolve rapidly and mutation is common, with the Norol mixing genes of Loron they 'mate' with (which they do by gathering the chromosomes of a dead Loron or a live, old Loron), and producing dozens of Loron with these genes. However, this of course requires Norol to take a lot of energy, and Loron need just as much for their muscle development. Loron on average require around 14,000kcal (calories) of energy intake daily, while Norol require at least 20,000kcal of energy daily. In addition, DNA changes rapidly, and so when Loron live to old ages, they will look completely different from their younger form. Loron change rapidly, by wrapping themselves in a nest and then fully taking on their new cells. This means that an adult Loron will be very different from a teenage Loron; the older Loron types are Betta Boyz, Sikka Boyz and Killa Boyz.
As one of the most warlike and barbaric races in the universe, the Loron are extremely deadly. They often feed on space wanderers, and their number is beyond count. They take pride in fighting, in causing misery, blackmailing passerby ships for money and hurting others. Loron wage many conflicts from personal to galactic scale, and even start full-scale wars over items of food. In battle, Loron show no respect to their opponent (insulting and spitting at them), try to make their kills dramatic and painful and tend to fight with bare hands.
Loron society - which many would deem is primitive - is unique, free, and formed around their typical gang culture, as well as entertainment often in the form of rap music. They are extremely obsessed with food, particularly pizza, which stems from their constant biological need to consume a lot of energy. These things often influence the roles Loron play in larger societies with other aliens, though their unique culture often leads them to be more secluded from most other alien populations.
The Loron's main ability is their physical prowess, both in the forms of their toughness and strength. A single Loron arm has the average energy of 10,000J (joules), with two Loron arms averaging 18,000J together. This means that a single Loron punch may be capable of breaking bones or smashing through metal plates. Loron toughness also makes them capable of withstanding tremendous punishment while suffering little from pain.
Many Loron, particularly in the Union Republic, are further enhanced by nanotechnology that speeds up their regeneration and improves their toughness. Many also make use of vibroblade cybernetic enhancements in their arms.
Loron hierarchy is simple, but often follows similar patterns. A "Boss" of a different group, referred to as a gang, is the undisputed leader of them; a "Big Boss" is the leader of multiple different gang's bosses; and a "Propa Big Boss" is often the highest possible rank. These can be bosses of specific areas, specific gangs, or they can be bosses of entire societies.
The leader of a group who achieves the rank of "boss" is often the most skilled or strongest in that area. They win their way to the top through fights or through gaining respect. Bosses stay in power due to fear or respect for them, and lose it when they are killed by a younger, aspiring boss. Their hold on power relies on those aspiring bosses failing to kill them, or on commanding enough respect that few aspiring bosses will make this attempt.
This system works as a hierarchy in society and a form of government. For this reason, politics of a Loron society are extremely simple. This system does not apply to the Norol, who often elect their leaders democratically within their own similar groups, which Loron still refer to as "chik gangz".
Loron culture, or "kultya", is savage and distinct, mocked and declared crude by many others, although it is in fact strong. Loron culture stems from the very first Loron and early gang cultures, and is based around social Darwinism concepts of survival of the fittest. It is rough, revolving around fighting and Loron addictions to pizza, hip hop music and cars. Loron tend to meet together in bars, in which they will watch sports or start fights with one another over drinks.
Loron also have a 'religion', in which they worship several of "Da Godz". Within the Union Republic, their most worshipped god is Roz'Tah'Flok, though other Loron societies instead revile him and worship Zr'An'Kar instead. They serve these gods typically through raps written about them and pizza parties in their name.
Another important aspect is "Da Mafia". Just as popular as the military, Loron Mafias are very deadly, causing havoc, deaths and piracy to innocent aliens. Mafias are also the only Loron gangs that accept other species into their ranks. They are hugely popular in Loron culture, and the vast majority of Loron have had some involvement with them.
Loron live in rough habitats, filled gang wars, every day fighting, which is paradise to Loron, but would appear horrible and dystopian to others. Buildings are normally made of little more than scrap metal and bricks. But this is why Loron love it. Environment on Loron worlds is normally lush, mostly jungles, as Loron prefer these environments, and Loron Chikz tend to terraform worlds to be like this. However, it can sometimes be deserts or barren planets, mainly when the Loron have eaten the entire populace.
Within larger societies, such as the Union Republic, Loron often dwell within urban environments, both in cities entirely owned by Loron and by aliens.
Loron technology, or "Tekkno Stoof", has historically been developed by Norol, and by Loron known as "Tekkas" and "Mekkas". Additionally, the Loron have been known to develop AI servants, known as "Da Geekz". Most Loron technology is powered by nuclear fusion or solar power, while their space travel often relies on hyperspace drives. Their gunz and bomz are not known to be too deadly compared to other species, though due to their size, they can wield larger, and more powerful, weapons. However, many technology used by Loron is not in fact developed by them, but stolen and repurposed.
Loron in Da Rogue Boyz have their own Vehiclez and Shipz, which are shown to be much more advanced than older Loron technology. The Rogue Boyz, however, have had technological help from the Tralkikianoe and Borealis Consortium Network.
Loron in larger societies such as the Union Republic of Ottzello do not use Loron-developed technology as it is ineffective. They share starships and domestic technology with the larger society instead.
Dubbed the alt-Loron, the Loron in an alternate timeline discovered during Time's Terminus were the dominant force in the First Gigaquadrant of their timeline. Led by Emperor Zr'Ahgloth and Empress Rel'larutina, the alt-Loron are identical to the prime timeline's Loron in physiology, but are entirely subservient to the Norol. The Loron have limited autonomy, considered a group mind wherein they rely on brainwaves from the Norol for their thoughts. The Norol's conquest came from a maternalistic desire to protect the universe, feeling that only their Loron could provide adequate protection; those who resist their rule must be eliminated for their own good.
While the Loron in the prime timeline had their psychology altered by Durzhan, the alt-Loron evolved exactly as expected, becoming subservient to the Norol. Their early history played out similarly to the prime timeline, though upon becoming a spacefaring species, they dominated the Ottzello Galaxy, handidly winning every war. Where their timeline differs most from the prime timeline is in their victory over the Delpha Coalition of Planets in the Delphan Excavation War. After this, given their numbers, advanced technology courtesy of the Norol, and the lack of most extradimensional threats (such as demons) that plagued the prime timeline, the alt-Loron dominated their timeline. This timeline also led to the creation of the Vyro'Ralza, as the few allied forces that resisted the Loron agreed to Zargoth's terms.
In Time's Terminus, time anomalies caused the alt-Loron to invade the prime timeline, with Empress Rel'larutina leading them. Seeing the prime timeline ravaged by countless wars that had never hurt hers, the Empress wished to conquer their timeline as the alt-Loron had done her own. Zargoth's intervention led to the alt-Loron becoming Loron'Kikra instead, under the command of Murangon Nal, with Empress Rel'larutina turning sides as a result. When Murangon Nal was defeated, the alt-Loron left the prime timeline, aside from a band of space pirates led by alt-Fre'kloar and the reformed alt-Rel'larutina. The alt-Loron in their own timeline became domesticated, still as protectors of their universe, but not conquerors.
“They will make good allies... we will rule them... the Allies will pay... they will eat cheesecake... IF THEY OBEY US!”
- - Ssik
“I wonder if the Loron have a figthing style...if so, I would like to test it against ours.”
- - Khazurhal Angazhar, Demon King of the Deathmarch
“The Lorons will feast... feast upon the destruction that will come swiftly to their pitfall civilization! The very air around them is tarnished with the blood already spilled upon them by themselves.”
“Hah! The Loron are the most idiotic species the DCP has ever encountered. Barely sapient these savage barbarians believe they have won so many victories in our war, even though they are quite minor. The DCP is enjoying blasting their planets and systems, as we use them to test our newest weapons on!”
“The Loron will be vanquished, as my great army rides the stars in search of the next system. I will crush all who lies before me. I will destroy all things Loron, and end their savage regime! Prepare Loron, prepare to suffer horribly under my energy mace!”
- - Warlord Titanozor of the DCP.
“The Loron are an evil and idiotic race that have grown to be too large to handle. They have only surived this long due to their sheer size. The Grox tell us they soon will no longer be a problem.”
“The latest insulting adjective to enter our language: Loronic!”
“Fools, barbarians and incapable of enlightenment. Just one word: blasphemy. And just one word what to do with them. EXTERMINATE!”
- - Spiritmaster Tadjeleon
“The Loron are interesting, and like us in many ways, I just hope that the party goes well!”
“Hmmmm. The Loron might be useful to us.(Sees a loron trying to eat a stick.) Or maybe not.”
“The Loron think they're so tough. Eating other species, killing for no reason whatsoever...that's just sick. They had better hope they stay peaceful with us.”
- - TIAF
- - TIAF
“The Loron are probably the most unintelligent beings in the galaxy, no, the Universe. They think they will rule everyone. Have they met the Xhodocto? The Vartekians? The CSA? The whole community will laugh when their last survivor is murdered.”
“The Loron aggravate us to an extent that we do not understand. We cannot comprehend their knowledge's extent. Such a small brain in such a large cranium cap. If they tried to eat a Xhodocto, they would burn inside out.”
- - Khazurhal Draguros/Kamik-Shi, Supreme Demon King of the Deathmarch
“We find it strange that such a creature could've even developed sentience, let alone space travel. Most of the space in their rather large skull is devoted to keeping their undersized and underworked brain barely functional, which we find rather amusing.”
- - Salsetthe Exobiologist Qagh'var
- - Descended Tyraz, new king of the Zazane Empire.
“A dangerous and cunning species; although we are not at war with them, we consider them neutral and keep caution with them. However, they are a force to be reckoned with and have great potential, whether they will be good or evil. We hope to one day improve our Galactic Relations with the Loron.”
- - Empress Ramashe of Rambo Nation
“You might think yourselves powerful, but let me say this: One day you will make one too many enemies, and then all the crude insults you can muster will not save you. It is my fervent hope that I live to see that day. ”
“The Loron are a changing matter. We never expected them to be such a malicious empire until we read their file. It looks like they will have to learn a lesson or two.”
“I do not care what you say. The Loron's mannerisms are an act to play with the patience of aliens. I refuse to believe a species this incompetent has created a space-faring society.”
- - Jerkon
“Fodder for darkness and nightmare. Servants who have run their course and now feebly oppose the end that will inevitably come to them. What refers to itself as Loron will learn to fear death once the black fog devours them and all they have strove so hard to create.”
“blu loronz is all stoopid cept da ones in Da Rogue Boyz. BUT DARK LORON RAP IS STILL BETTA OVERALL”
“Lorons are the thorn and roses. We use Captured Lorons for cure testing. We once tested a new cure for transparency on a Loron with that disease! It worked! THANK YOU GUINEA LORONS!!!! YOU ARE SO LORONLY!!!!”
“If their race fought us...what would be the outcome?”
- - Zí-Jittorám
“Thou art only one letter short of "moron".”
- - High-Templar Oderak
“Their grammer is ill compared to our own, but similar genetic make-up brings us closer. We are VERY distantly related, like our great-great-great grandfather's 437th cousin kind of distant relation. Hmm....”
“The Loron are insult to BOTH reptillians and inects, but the Norol are ok.”
“They may be dumb but I certainly don't wanna face 'em, not even with the help of the Shazatilia Union of Peace.”
“Da Loron race iz finished. UNO peepz are idiot geekz, an Da Rogue Boyz are da dum peepz who think they're betta dan the othas just cause they're a seperate empire. An dose Legion of Badmanz doodz wanna blow-up da ooniverse. I'm da only cool Loron left, cuz I joined da cause of profit with ma new peepz an y'all can go ta hell. Or join me, dat's coola.”
- - Lion
“I'll admit, the Loron are stronger than us. But at least we can spell correctly!”
“There is gotta be something wrong with their DNA in some time during their evolution.... i... no, WE think none can ever be THIS dumb.... (Though their clothings looks nice and comfy, i'd say that, maybe we can adapt to their fashion style one day.... once we managed to lower the size of the clothings)”
“Perhaps a very valuable asset to the Infernal Republic... if not for their overwhelming stupidity.”
“Daddy, Daddy! Can we get the Loron action figure? Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase!”
- - Tyrolox at a young age, shopping with his father.
“Ah, come on, they can’t be that ba-. Um, never mind. They are ten fold times more aggressive and uncivil than we could’ve ever imagined! We shalln’t plan on ever visiting Borealis. We don’t want to be involved with you, we do however, hope your lot don’t take this message with negativity though, we respect your species’ power. Although, we do think your kind could try to refine your ways of life and make them less violent.”
- - Thena Wei of The Federation of Free Empires
“The Creator, Creators, whatever, you get the gist, probably created your lot to be part of the chaos to balance the order. We don’t have any opinions on your lot. We don’t like you, nor hate you. Hopefully your species will learn that brute force isn’t always best in war and possibly, realize that peace can sometimes be better. Perhaps your kind will take this advice, although we are indeed doubtful.”
- - Lucari of The Coalition of Seceding States
Behind the scenes
Technobliterator is proud to say that the Loron page is home to the very first "quotes from other empires" section of the SporeWikiverse.
The Loron were created in one game of Spore, but after reaching the space stage, the game was abandoned. They had been created as opposites to the Galot species. When introduced to the SporeWikiverse, their language came from chav culture in the United Kingdom as well as stereotypical internet troll langage.