“ya can call me da "Mad Dokta" of da Rogue Boyzs leedas. i maek da sikkest gunz an da sikkest gizmos eva which im probably use ta turn yoo into paste lata. dunt feel bad tho cus I ALWAYS LIKE NOO STOOF TA TEST MA GUNZ ON”
- - Kal'kuir
Kal'kuir is the highest ranking Tekka / Mekka Warboss of Da Rogue Boyz. Infamous for his obsession with technology, Kal'kuir is a mad scientist who is one of the smartest Loron alive (if not the smartest). However, he is also incredibly clumsy, and makes too much of an effort to show off his intelligence.
Kal'kuir grew up in a splinter Loron faction, notable for being home to the best Mekkas and Tekkas around, as well as some of the smartest Chikz. Kal'kuir had fought against many other Loron, but had many parts cut off badly by the other geeky Loron's vibroblades, and needed cyborg implants. That was when he got into cybernetics. Kal'kuir became a Big Tekkaboss of this faction, and later, killed the Boss with the best weapon he had produced.
Kal'kuir became boss of Groop Kal'kuir, which he used to unite all the Mekkas and Tekkas from various Loron empires, to become one large Mekka/Tekka empire. This made his empire the most 'geeky' empire, but with the most weird and wacky weapons. Kal'kuir fought a Sikka Boy, which he failed to kill, resulting in needing more cybernetics.
Early Rogue Boyz EraEdit
During the Second Borealis Galactic War, Kal'kuir installed a new weapon, Da Banana Gun, on Da Propa Big Rogue Krooza, but he never tested it. During the Prologue, however, he used it on the Niaka Special Forces, and ended up destroying entire star systems with a single blast and destroying his entire fleet. Later, during the Rise of the Xi'Arazulha, he used it again against the Devourer's Chosen when he was stuck by them in a Cold Relay with UNO and the Zoles, but Rebaris stopped him by firing a black hole on the banana.
During the Coming of the Vague, when UNO's quarantine was declared, Zaarkhun sent Da Speshul Warbosses on the planet where it was going to be activated. When UNOC arrived to deactivate it, Da Warbosses took them by surprise. Kal'kuir fought Darwishi, and eventually won. He also wanted to make a "sik gun" out of the Commandant, but later refused, saying that "UNO's tekk suks". Kal'kuir has been in many adventures with the other Rogue Loron ever since.
Da Rogue EraEdit
Kal'kuir is full of extremely rudimentary cybernetic parts, although half of them, rather than being used for weaponry or life support, are actually just for show. His robotic eye was made during Da Rebellion, when Fre'kloar smashed it.
Kal'kuir is a mekka/tekka (he's forgotten which one he is, and calls himself both) Loron. He is constantly looking for ways to create a bigger, better and more powerful weapon that whatever he is currently using. He also likes to sell his weapons to others for often incredibly high prices, but he gives a discount for Da Leedas and Da Warbosses.
Kal'kuir is a cyborg, who has a selection of weird and wacky weapons. Here are a few:
|Da Big Blasta||A Mekka/Tekka's weapon of choice is this heavy machine gun.|
|Da Freez Ray||A thermal weapon, it sprays cryogenic liquid to quickly freeze a target.|
|Da Acid Blasta||A pneumatically-accelerated toxic carbine weapon.|
|Da Lava Gun||A magnetically-accelerated plasmathrower weapon, it fires a small particle beam at the target, useful against heavy vehicles.|
|Wat Da Hell Do I Name Dis Gun||Known by Norol as the Tesla Claw, a gun that fires electricity at a target. He fired this at Fre'kloar during Da Rebellion.|
|Da Cleena||A vacuum weapon, it can suck up smaller enemies and chuck them out at the enemy (note that this weapon consistently breaks when sucking up larger enemies).|
|Da Flamethrowa||A weapon that mixes oxygen and methane to make fire.|
|Da Morpha||Capable of morphing an enemy, by replacing their DNA with that of an animal.|
|Da Blak Hole Fing||Using Dark Chronoscopic, it makes a small wormhole, which sucks enemies in.|
|Da Sikkest Gun Eva||An incredibly unstable weapon, it fires projectiles through subspace gathering hypermatter; as an infantry weapon, it is incredibly unstable and likely to break.|
|Da Banana Gun||Fires a banana that is capable of exploding entire star systems using compressed dark matter and subspace compression waves, however it is very unstable. It was used in the Second Borealis Galactic War twice, against the Niaka Special Forces and the Devourer's Chosen.|
Kal'kuir has cybernetic enhancements, and contains a zero point generator in his body like Unified Nation of Ottzello races do, thanks to the Tralkikianoe. This he uses to power up the weapons he uses, as well as his vibro-blade. Additionally, he still retains the physical strength present in all Loron, being considered stronger than the average member of his race.
- Leedas - safe ma bosses yoo get a 100% discount
- Fre'kloar - yor propa sik yoo united us all togetha i was dere wen yoo did. yoo get a 100% discount + da Leeda discount wich maeks 200%. wait dat meens i pay yoo ta hav ma gunz. dum
- Jol'kiar - OI IF DA OLD WAYS IS BETTA SHOW ME ONE OF DA OLD GUNZ DAT CAN DO WAT MINE CAN. DATS WAT I FORT: NON. NO DISCOUNT FER YOO CEPT DA LEEDA ONE
- Hagto'Zhl - wen yoo joined da rogue boyz got sikka by 60% moar. fer dat yoo get a 60% discount + da leeda discount
- Grak'tona - da fuk man yor not da king. no discount fer yoo. not even a leeda discount cos yoo say dat yoo isnt a leeda an yor a king insted.
- Rel'larutina - STOP GOIN AROUND ACTIN LIEK YOOS CLEVERER DAN ME. I MEEN YOO IS BUT STILL SHUT DA FUK UP. YOO GET A -100% DISCOUNT
- Poshiez - yor good fer bizness
- Warbosses - da fellow bosses yoo get 50% discount
- Ray'loth - yanno wat da warbosses need? a leeda different frum dis lovaboy. since yoo lieked dat dum chik no discount
- Voa'reak - YOO NEVA GAVE ME CREDIT FER DESIGNIN YA JETPAK. NO DISCOUNT. wait did i design it or was dat one of ma boyz? STILL NO DISCOUNT
- Zalk'don - BY MY CALCULASHONS YOR GONNA MAEK SOM SIK BOOMZ. 75% DISCOUNT + WARBOSS DISCOUNT WHICH IS 120...I MEEN 125 OR...YEH 120% DISCOUNT. crap
- Knar'gank - actually frum all da battle calculashons yor methods maek yoo an effectiv tactical asset. 25% discount + da warboss discount
- Naktor'zak - i worked on yor tank. i oversaw dat project it went nicely. but no discount cos yor in a tank.
- Brag'klogga - yor weird an yoo dissed ma tekk no discount fer yoo ya muppet. yoos gonna see tekk beets dat dum Chronoscopic fing anyday
- Drizz'pyrokirk - yor weponz dis sik? how com i wasnt da one who designed it? only i design weponz dat sik. meh yor a safe geeza 45% discount
- Zr'Ahgloth - YOR A DUM GEEZA FOR NOT HAVIN MEKKAS AN TEKKAS IN YOR LORONZ ANYMOR. DATS LIKE A PERSONAL INSULT TA ME
- Tralkik Commander - A TRALKIK BOSS EH? IMMA SALVAGE YA AN ENHANCE MA GUNZ WIV YOR TEKK HURHURHUR
- Commandant Darwishi - I CULD MAKE A SIK GUN OUTTA YOR SKULL
“I'll drop bombs on you next time! Hells above!”
“The Fist not enjoy our fight! Brawn beat brain easy!”
- - Vailisa