User:Zillafire101/Rants

I was inspired by Operations marine to make this page, but also by the Nostalgia Critic and the Spoony one, because they always get so passionate. And that's the key word. So these are things I passionately hate. Expect fan boy b*tching like never before. And don't sorry, I'm not gonna rant towards any users. I'm not stupid. Anymore.

Oh and if you like sugar and ponies and rainbows, and are offended by my opinions, that tough. Naw, JK, If my opinion is offensive to you, then I apologize.

"New" Mandalorians and the Clone Wars
Would you be surprised if I said I made this page just to rant about this? Nope? Good. The Clone wars has always grinded by gears, because why make another series, when we have that other one, where Grievous took out 6 Jedi by himself. How can you expand on something as awesome as that? Well, Lucas answers us with, no, we're nerving him. Terribly so. Well, not only as Grievous' nerving ticked me off (He looses to a kid?!), but so has what has occurred with the Mandalorians, my personal favorite sci-fi culture, probably from their being based off Celts. And I like Celts.

So what we had, for backstory, was Karen Travis doing "Everything" Mando. Language, culture, translations. It was beautiful. Some say their marry sues on the level of the Ultra Mereens, but, you have to admit, Travis put so much work on them. Now, we get this Clone Wars series, coming along, steam rolling over the top of her work. How would you feel if I did that to your fiction here? If an admin did that. Said, "Oh, I'm on top of the food chain, I decide what happens."

So, what happens, is pacifists gain a political majority in Mandalore, and exile our favorite space Celts. Bitch plz! There can be only one, and you don't even have a military! In fact, this government is completely hypocritical, like actual real life governments! They hate Real, awesome mandos, and yet buy all their crap from them! That's like Americans hating the Chinese! So, yeah, their living in these cubes (Way to rip off Mass effect), and are all happy and smiley, and an episode of MLP that decided to overdose on sugar, before covering itself in skittles. Yeah, and apparently, the Mandalorian planets where bombarded and reduced to deserts via a war with the Republic, because they where becoming powerful and the Republic was rightfully scared to death of our space highlanders. Yet, that makes no sence.

In Imperial Commando 501st, one of our characters stats that Mandalore and it's few colonies haven't been important in centuries. Yet now they are? And on top of that, why don't our mando pals say "Hey, Joe, remember when we where blasted to Osik?" (Mando word for crap). No. And we've seen Mandalore in the Travis novels, and it's a forested, temperate region, with no reference to these False Mandalorians. So, basically, our Mandalorians are like Germany, they use to be badass, until some gutless cowards made them the Weimar Republic. And we remember how that ended. Nazis.

Speaking of, we have the Death Watch. Not the Space Marines, but a group of thugs running around killing people and, it's implied several times, raping enough to make the Kurgan from Highlander stop for a few seconds. Just like Germany! Hoozah! So, apparently, Mandalorians used to hate the Death Watch, but now their happy to follow them. BS. Death Watch are liked by no one, and Jango Fett helped chase them off, where they couldn't come back for years. Yet now they have full strength?

Oh, and by the way, Jango Fett, a hero of Mandalorians, defended their culture, avenged his family's slaughter, and killed Jedi with his bare hands after they attacked his bros, as the aggressors, is no longer loved for taking out the Death Watch. Oh no, he's a thug! Yeah, a thug that stole Madno armor! Now let's see. Mandos like to adopt. Jester Mereel, the most bossly of star wars characters, adopted him after Jango's family was slaughtered, by death watch! Now, if we're thinking pure blood mando, I'm about to get even nerdier. Jango and his clones are all descended from a famous Mandalorian Field Marshal, named Cassus. As such, he's Mando. But he's not now?

So much Bullshit. is it possible to die of constipation? Cause this series would've by now.

But wait! There's more!

The Death Watch, after much planning and bullshiting, gain control of Mandalore, and it's Mass Effect rip-off cities. What happened to Keldable? That city from almost all Mando media, including Empire at War? Gah! So the Mandos, are happy to follow the Death Watch, because it's the warrior way! What happened to the True Mandos, the real bossly ones, that would put Chuck Norris to shame with how much man they've packed into themselves. Yes, even their women are more manly then you. Deal with it.

But wait! There's...MORE!

Piss Vizlsa, apparently helps Darth Maul, and his brother, The Kurgan, only to betray them. Gee, 2 demonic sith lords, with badass powers, one with robot legs, and the other a big nasty guy who killed a Jedi with a pointy stick? Let's betray him! So, as you'd expect, Piss, or Pre, get's his ass whopped, and Darth Maul takes his head. And makes himself leader of the Mandalorians. What?! Alright, that was "NEVER" referenced in the books.

What I am watching?!

"Hey, yo! Boba, remember when we ruled by Darth F*cking Maul!"

"Totally bro!"

I like Maul, he's my favorite Sith (Other then Vader and Sidious), but this is ridiculous fan fiction territory! That should never happen! Oh, and why is the character voice by an immortal from Highlander, not taking Pre's head! That's another sin! He's the Kurgan for goodness sakes!

So we have even more Bullsh*t. I feel like George Lucas is being Heavy and just saying "Cry some maor." to the fans. So that stupid Duchess who was ruling the Pansy-lorians and was apparently a love interest for Obiwan, is killed. And it turns out, our other villain, a Female mando named Bo, or Tex, that's what I'm calling her, is her sister. Wow, never saw that coming. I totally called that too! How many damn evil siblings are out there?!

Let's count every damn one of em, kids!


 * Every Sporewiki sibling in existence.
 * Bionicle has a sh*t ton! Teridax and Mata Nui, Karazahni and Artkaha, Nidhikki and Lhikan.
 * Celestia and Nightmare Moon. Celestia should've smashed her head against a rock.
 * Set and Osiris from Egyptian mythology
 * Loki and Thor from Norse Mythology.
 * Kratos and Hercules in God of war are technically half siblings, though still siblings!
 * Spacegodzilla, all 3 Mechagodzillas, Orga, Megaguiros, and Biollante to Godzilla.
 * Mothra and Battra from Godzilla.

Altogether, this series "SUCKED". It ruined Grievous, it ruined Mandalorians, it ignored key EU notes, and now, apparently, a bunch of stuff is about to be declared non canon or something. Something about Legends? I don't know, but I now the first thing to add to that list. This series!

And that stupid Ewok cartoon!! If it's not that already. If it is, I apologize for being uneducated on the subject. Good day!