Fiction:President Pyrovis

Pyrovis Sto was born in Kankol,marilia,and lived with his parents until he was 8,in which the uneducated alien took a martian spear outside a museum and stabbed both his parents 37 times in the chest.when in court,his stupidness was put to the test when he was asked why he did it.Pyrovis's responce was "DERP!The bagel told me to do it!"Pyrovis was convicted for murder and thrown into rehab.2 days later,he got out,but was still retarded and had ran for president.he succeeded and became president,but at what cost?when the other economic leaders realized Pyrovis was an insane retard,they sent him to a kindergarden class in Japan,a country on earth.Pyrovis graduated and said he was going to collegde,but instead went to 1st grade.he made it all the way to 7th grade,and says,"I never knew how I made it out of grade school alive,But it was retarded."four years later,pyrovis had the most WTF? dream and when to the monks to tell him what it ment.He told them first,He was dancing with an albino elephant,that next jumps into pyrovis's stomach,and evaporates into oblivion,and random events happen.the monks said it ment A.pyrovis had a parasitic alien growing inside him,B.Pyrovis was Making his own version of the birth of the buddha,or C.He had AIDS.10,Days later,an alien jumped out of pyrovis's stomach and waved the russian flag around and said"COMMI POWER!"Pyrovis then went on to make the world's first rip off of a rip off,and invented the super snuggie,the first blanket with sleeves,and built-in jeans!today,pyrovis makes a living by golfing with little orphan pandas and founded the snuggie for a panda program,in which people send in money to help fund the production of snuggies designed for pandas.