Thread:Cyrannian/@comment-2081141-20121005160703

I felt like I'd go over your fiction for a change and actually look at it in detail, having not looked at the pages since you turned the Republic into the Empire.

In terms of length and detail, it's quite impressive, although realistically that's not all that surprising given the length of time you've been around in the wiki. There is a very well fleshed out set of member races, and a detailed military. Furthermore, every aspect of the fiction is quite well justified in its setting. The technological state of the fiction is well suited to a society with near total galactic control, and all the resources that come with it. The technology subpage is well laid out and detailed, using understandable scientific principles well within what is accepted by the wiki.

The page layout is simple and to the point, which in such a large fiction is beneficial, however certain sections such as the religion and economy sections could do with a bit more detail, given that they don't actually really say that much, and raise more questions than they provide answers. I'd be happy to go into detail about those later if you want.

It gets a little disappointing when we get to Antediluvian, and generally the history of the fiction. To be quite honest, it's pretty bland. The concept behind it isn't really all that inspired, it's just some dude rocking up and taking advantage of unrest to get his plans to work.

Which would have been ok, if Antediluvian himself wasn't as much of a cardboard cutout as he looks. I had a good look at his fiction page, and I just see the same old story of 'guy has a lot of power, wants more power, gets kicked in the nuts for wanting power, goes on a revenge spree.' He then basically re-enacts Star Wars.

I wanted to avoid that last point, because it's the thing most people would point to first. At first glance, I didn't really see too much, just a few borrowed aesthetics here and there. I also handwaved most of the political stuff, because let's face it, that's just how Empires work. Then I started to look just a tad deeper, and more similarities popped up. My personal standpoint on this sort of thing is thus: If I have to nitpick to find similarities, then there's no problem. Thing is, I didn't have to nitpick: it was right there. Even some of the names. Enough said.

To me, the single greatest strength of this fiction is that, over the course of its development, you've incorporated a significant amount of interaction with other users, and put a great deal of effort into the fiction over a jaw-dropping period of time. That alone is testament to your ability as a fiction maker.

Now don't get me wrong, the distribution of praise and criticism certainly doesn't mean I don't like the fiction, in fact I'm quite impressed. I just find it a tad bland for what should be considered one of the main fictions of the universe. Either way, it's very well detailed, and overall it's an excellent fiction. 