Fiction:The Band of Ages

The Band of Ages is a band led by the young Gjigantrox Xori, the Nephew of Chief Ambassador Carillion. The band is widely acclaimed and appreciated by beings of many species.

The following is a list of songs written by the Band of Ages:

Kilnok Rock- A song honoring everyone’s favorite hero. Apparently, Kilnok himself has set it as the ringtone for his communicator.

Calm Down, Tyraz- This song urges the Descension-prone Tyraz Breek to control his emotions. Most Zazane don’t play it when Tyraz is around.

No More Xhoddies- A universally acclaimed hit written at the end of the War of Ages, this song celebrates the defeat of the greatest threat to the universe.

Mercury Waffles- This song discusses the great taste of the waffles made by the Core Federation on Mercury in the Sol System, as well as how much better the waffles taste when Jovar-made syrup is added.

If I Could Ascend- Well-liked by many Ravenrii, this tune follows what the band members would do if they could move to a higher plane of existence.

The Ballad of the Breakfast Monopoly- This excellent ballad chronicles the colonization of the Sol System and the establishment of control of the breakfast industry by the Core Federation, Jovar, Gjigantrox, and Sylits.

If Sylits Could Actually Make Better Pancake Than the Gjigantrox, and Why That Would Unbalance the Universe- Even a Sylit can appreciate the good humor in this song about how the band members feel that Gjigantrox-made pancakes are much better than Sylit-made ones, and how the Universe would be dangerously changed if this wasn’t so.

How Uncle Carillion Captured the Deathspire- This chilling hit recounts how Chief Ambassador Carillion, the uncle of band member Xori, led the assault on the Nexus Deathspire, a Xhodocto stronghold.

Felinox Dreams- The band offers their opinion on what their lovable feline pets dream about. Oddly, they have the impression that Admiral Kilnok often appears in these dreams.

Everyone Loves the DCP- This song emphasizes how most empires find the DCP to be great friends and helpers. Unless said empire is evil, in which case, the band says, they’d better run and hide.

Why the Jovar Have No Arms- The band isn’t sure why this is, but did their best to guess. However, most Jovar doubt that the reason is “It looks cool.”

Loron Cuisine- This song mostly lists just about every species the band has ever heard of. And that wasn’t even half of what the Lorons eat.

A Nice Vartekian- This song is best summarized by the sarcastic line “Yeah, right.”

URC: Unbelievably Radical Capricornians- An ode to how awesome the Capricornians are, and how cool their name is.

Kamik-Shi Got What He Deserved- The band goes after the Xhoddies once again in one of the most agreed-with songs ever written. It’s rumored that the band is trying to get the Kroc to sing the song at a future concert.

The Peppypipes Are just Too Short- This song is not intended to hurt anyone’s feelings, so the band is quite relieved that no Peppypipes took offense. Apparently, they came to terms with their vertical challenges long ago.

Coggie Bashing- The band’s first song about the Intergalactic War, expressing their desire to “Batter the Coggies like pancake mix.”

Ode to Intergalactic Organizations- This song praises the efforts of groups like the UAN, UTU, UDN, and Intergalactic Federation for their efforts to promote cooperation between different empires. It also requests the formation of a United Breakfast Service.

Our Part In the War of Ages- The band tells of their encounter with the Xhodocto, and how the demons reacted to being hammered with musical instruments.