Thread:Ecoraptor3339/@comment-5496489-20171102142934/@comment-25890179-20180107083341

@Eco - Thank you. I'd like to write this up, but first it needs lots of ironing out. Basically I see one main issue with the story, apart from a few minor details easily fixed.

That problem is it doesn't focus enough on Durrandon. He just kind of...disappears for most of the story. The main theme that needs to be expressed is that despite this war not being foreseen by anyone, just sort of happening, Durrandon is busy manipulating the shit out of events. He's supposed to be a sort of Vladimir Putin, but ends up coming off as Adolf Hitler, a terrible tactician and pretty bad planner.

I suppose that part of the story will be apparent after the war, as Durrandon recovers his position far more quickly than expected and starts influencing Mirusian politics.