Captain:Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris is creature based on real-life actor Chuck Norris and internet meme "Facts about Chuck Norris" where each joke portrays him as the laws of physics. As his real self, Chuck Norris is strong and charismatic, but Spore Chuck is far more powerful, almost godlike. It is roughly of the same power as god of Zazane species. His main power which is used to unleash his godlike strength is roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris Jokes
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. Chuck Norris waits.

When Chuck Norris goes swimming, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.

Outer space exists because it's too scared to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.

Underneath his beard, Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin, Chuck Norris has another fist.

Brokeback Mountaing isn't just a movie: It's also the name of the pile of dead fight-scene actors in Chuck Norris' backyard.

In the beginnning there was nothing. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked that nothing and told it to get a job.

If you ask Chuck Norris the time, he tells you "Two seconds 'till." After you ask him "Two seconds 'till what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris and Mr. T once walked into a bar together. The building instantly exploded, because that much raw awesome cannot be contained in one building.

Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life. Except when it gets in his way.

Chuck Norris has no home. He walks into houses and the peopel there move out.

When tax time comes, Chuck Norris returns blank forms and a piture of himself crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has never had to pay taxes. EVER.

America is not a Democracy. It is a Chucktatorship.

Chuck Norris can shoot down planes by pointing at it and saying "Bang!"

The Sherman tank was origionally going to be called the Norris tank. Chuck Norris was displeased by this, saying that it was not awesome enough to be associated with him. The Army, fearing Chuck Norris, changed the name and promised to make a more fitting weapon. To date, no such weapon has been made.

They did not find any Weapons of Mass Destruction in Afghanistan because Chuck Norris lives in America.

If the Police accuse Chuck Norris, they get thrown in jail.

Einstein didn't figure out the laws of physics. Chuck Norris told him.

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, smells like chicken and feels like chicken, but Chuck says it's beef, it's beef.