Fiction:Willism

Headline text
Willism is a religion that is similar to Christianity/Judaism/Islam. Except not at all.

=Willist Beliefs= The Willist system is generally monotheistic, however, different demigods or "devs" frequently appear in the holy texts. All life comes down from one being, referred to as "Will Wright" and other variations, such as "WW" or "THE WILL". Wright is assisted by various beings in his tasks. There are also other distinct beings known as "Sid Meier!", who is generally a mysterious outside force (less powerful than Will) and "Peter Molyneux", who is regarded by many Willists to be evil-in-a-can.

Deities

 * Will Wright
 * Peter Molyneux
 * Sid Meier!
 * Devs

Prophets
The most notable prophet in Willist doctrine is Gaming Steve. There are others, however, Steve has recieved the most divine inspiration.

Reported lesser prophets include 762, Samog, Hydromancerx, and Barrakuda.

Knights
Those who have accomplished truly noble deeds become honorary Knights.

The Most Holy Order of Freud
"I dub thee Sigmund Wahh.

Rise, Sigmund Wahh."

The Most Holy Order of Freud is a title bestowed upon those who have performed bold and noble deeds, or maybe just made one too many phallic references.

Knights of Freud:
 * Sigmund Wahh
 * Sigmund PatMan33

The Circle of R
"I dub thee R. Hydromancerx, second in rank only to those in the Most Holy Order of Freud." One can only be accepted into the Circle of R if they have done something that interests the priesthood.

Guardians of R:
 * R. Hydromancerx
 * R. Zuka
 * R. Quantum Burrito
 * R. Spore2DaMax

Priests
The Willist priests hold remarkably little power, except that they control who is accepted into the Knighthood and what goes into the religious texts. So they hold all power.

High Priest
"Yne Gemewctemy amb Nccy Blwlme Canco Thqi Dimibujimth emv Nukth Vobomi Kenuh Zie, ne lc opeay Qi ok hshieth Zie, mcpcnl' nln Gushkqof qon" Samog is the High Priest. Any questions?

Lesser Priests
"Cym yne teccep 'plecyc Zie, up thi jikkish fshoikthk Me nawe mcme Zie, gi qebi mumi Mcvtb zcv tlke yc ge cme? Zie, guwjv zuw josi thu di umi?"

Krakow Sam is the only priest, and as such can cast the Priests' vote and must show Vivec the ways of the kung-fu priest. Vivec is a teccep addpemyice priest. Let's all point and laugh at him.

HowTo:Become_a_Willist_Priest
Apply at our offices today! We'll see if you have what we want.

Priests get wonderful benefits such as:
 * Ever wondered what the Clash of the Clans, Culid, and Willist writings really mean? Well, too bad. The translation is largely one-way. Put in some effort, you lubbers! You'll figure it out soon enough!
 * Your own book of the Willist Texts.
 * Knighting (super)powers.

Due to their services, Oviraptor, Leng, and LadyM would all get their e-priest robes with less effort than the rest of you. Any questions? To EA with you!

Book of Samog
Of the GDC Visions of the Promised Land, the Book of Samog has the following to say: "Yea, and when the GDC 05 was completed, after some time they didst see fit to bestow a blessing of a Vision upon the people! And the faithful didst View it, and it was good. Verily, from this holy sight, the truly blessed did derive new holy truths, from the mundane to the ridiculous, but in the end, all Speculation was lost to the sands of time." Of the Great Prophet Glicker's conversations with Wright, the Book of Samog has the following to say: ''"And the Lord Will came down from the Headquarters, and spake thusly unto him: 'You can actually … see I can take the spine, and if I grab the ends of it, I can actually shorten it, extremely short so I can make [makes the spine just one backbone in size] like this can be my entire spine here. So if I was going do an octopus I would probably be something like this [makes a very small round body]. I would shorten these quite a bit so, and right now we don't have the tools for it, so I would basically have the head of an octopus and under the arms and legs palette it would be something like tentacles which have many, many bones. You know they drag out here and kind of rotate into whatever positions we wanted. So yeah, you should be able to do something that looks kind of looks like an octopus. So if we roughly cheat right now, what should I do with those [places arms on the body] what should I do is shorten the bones. If I shorten them ya know I get artificial network, so in fact with tentacles you get something that could live in the water. [Works on the legs] So we’re trying to make some that looks like a hexapod.'"''

The Book of Krakow Sam
As part of his induction as priest Krakow Sam chronicles the great information famine:

''Yea, and in that time between the summer of 2005 and the spring of 2006 the Will was silent. And so too were the devs of Maxis silent. And the Prophet Glicker in his wisdom did say: "This is pretty much a dark phase for Spore so there wont be a Spore talk next week". In this time the FAQs and wishlists did overflow with the misguided desires of the lesser followers of Spore. Some in their foolishness asked for a complex resource system, some for many UFOs. These idle questioners were soon silenced, as the true followers of Will did say unto them "have you played Simcity? There werent more than 3 types of resources in Simcity" and they soon ceased their questions and requests. This was a great time for those with the talent of art, and many pieces fanatical art were displyed by the Knights of R and others, and the multitude did say: "That is so awesome, I wish I could draw that well, keep it up!"''

Book of Sandbox
The Great Book of Sandbox was agreed to by many priests and it was made by an organization of priests that, see the sandbox as the aftergame, when you finish your game you go into the aftergame these games are chosen during your life due to your actions. The Book of Sandbox is open for non-priests to edit.

In self-proclaimed prophet VFX Watch's Last Book of Will, we learn the following about the end of people and the transformation of the sandbox:

"A beast comes from the sea he has 7 heads, and shall only be known as the Devs without Studios. All follow him except for the 7,000,000 Holy People who have came to Silicon Valley, Jerusalem and follow Will, then for years of torture to all those that followed the Devs without Studios make abysmal games that have almost no goal! But another beast comes!The stars in the sky shall disappear, and a three-headed Llama marked with the number 2049 shall come out from under the Earth, and all those who played linear games shall be punished to an eternity of side-scrollers. The world will fall into the hands of the Willists, and the stars, the earth, the creatures, the sea shall all be thier creation."


 * Sims, Simcity, Spore, Simearth etc. Is the Great Aftergame Will's Realm


 * Sim Golf. A halfway point between Wright's Realm and Sid's Realm. Not long is time spent in this aftergame as your fate is decided here.


 * Civilization. Is a more mysterious Purgatory-like aftergame where you do the same things as you did in your game over and over. Sid's Realm.


 * Black & White & Black and White 2. Are known as the Undergame where you are in misery. Peter's Realm. He who sells his soul to Moleneux will be granted acess to the hedonistic realms of Dungeon Keeper and Theme Hospital.

These Realms are also showed and predicted due to the Dev's character.

Book of Hydromancerx
Hydromancerx became one of the chosen ones once he was contacted by "THE WILL" himself. This touch from the creator has made him one of the "chosen" and he should be respected by all Willist.

And then he was contacted again to be a VIP in "THE WILL's" Spore Room. So the masses sent him plentiful donations and he used the forture to buy thy golden ticket to the land of E3!! In which he went on Thursday of the 11th day of the month known as May in the year of 2006. There with holy recording devices in hand he recored not one but TWO demos of Spore and shook the hand of "THE WILL" himself! Thus granting the same honor as that of Gaming Steve.

After touching him Hydromancerx got to visit the etherial realms of the VIP room in which he became one of the first selected few to acually creature creatures within the game. This was a great moment for all Willists. For the Willists finally got to touch both "THE WILL" and "THE GAME". And when he returned the people were joyious and Hydro shared his stories and showed his plunders from the holy recording devices. And it was good!

Book of Daxx
The book of Daxx has this to say about the troubles in the early Priesthood:

''...and there were many who sought the truth about Will, and lo they flocked to the feet of the great Prophet Steve and within his domains they did gossip and question and reinterpret the sacred texts and did ignore the Stickied dogma. There were some who would claim that they had stolen the great tools of Will before the time of the coming of the Sandbox, and they were quickly stricken down and cast out by the faithful. But those remained who would question and demand of Will and his Devs; their constant heresies begat the SimEverything movement and forced many of the Knights and the Priests to scatter from the masses into the further reaches of the realms of Gaming Steve. There, they did watch and wait, and kept the faith patiently.''

Scripts of Brandonazz
Brandonazz, though untouched by the holiness of EA, Maxis, or The Will, believes it is his duty as a follower of The Will to spread the good news. He considers himself unworthy of the title of Willist priest, and will spread the word of The Will until the salvation of Spore and beyond.

In the years since the beginning of the sim universe, many scripts have been lost, and recently some have been recovered in small pieces:

From The First Book of Sim: "In the beginning there was Will. And unto the neighborhood of nothingness Will said "Let there be Sims," and there were Sims. Upon the world he brought forth many creatures and gave unto them names. The first among them he named Newbies, and the second among them was unto themselves given the name Goth. He brought forth empty structures and land, and looked upon it, and it was good."

From The Book Of Ciudad D'Sim: "And upon the ground did spread zones. Unto the zones cometh power and water, and unto the three came roads. And in that time The Will commanded the ground to rise, and lo, structures emerged from the zones. And from his mind did spring the chosen people, and lo they took up residence in the holy structures. And then The Will said unto them, "Unto you I give my only begotten city, so that you will not perish in tornados, but have everlasting digital life."

Date of Releasing
"So WILL blessed the seventh day and hallowed it, because on it WILL rested from all his work which he had done in the creation of Spore." - Sporgeneis 9:7:2008

The FanArt Awakening
The FanArt Awakening star out as simple tribute to Will's image, but spread through out the forum into many cults. These cults have spread all over with beasts big and small. Ones weird and simple but all pale in comparison to the sacred Willosaurs. The Willosaurus is the divine creature made by "The Will" himself.

Fantastic Spore Cult
This secret group of followers has banded together to create the prefect creature. One that could be worthy of "The Will's" approval. This group of artisans includes R. Hydromancerx, Areku, Huggkruka, Kcon and Jaleho. Within their secret temple they work hard upon this creature away from the prying eyes of rest of the Willistic Fanatics. It is prophesied that this creation will be so great even to rival the holy Willosaurus. While others say it could be the Anti-Wright!

The inner sanctum and the workings of the Fantastic Spore temple has been kept secret even from the High Priest, although the existence of the group has been evident since the creation of Jaleho's secret project. Though it is doubtful that so few people could create the Anti-Wright, certain comments made by members of the group would indicate that there is more to this than meets the eye. fnord The Fantastic Spore hold unclear amounts of power, though they do control at least four thousand, one hundred and eight people's thoughts through Jaleho's icons.

The SimEverything Heresy
There have been prophecies about space fleets, space races, earthquakes, and other fantastic events, which would truly make the game into an unrealistically complex “SimEverything.” These prophecies, however, are largely wishes and falsehoods. If a member of Willism perpetuates these falsehoods, they must seek to be absolved by a high priest. And they must pinky-swear that they will never do it again.

Multiple Choice Wackyness!
Many people wanted to write their own little stories about civilisations they wanted to build in Spore, if and when it was ever released. This was all well and good, but people soon grew tired of reading other people's tedious fanfic. Then one day someone had the idea of introducing democracy to the affair. people voted on what they wanted the little hypothetical creature/tribe/civilisation to do. People were happy with the illusion of free will and failed to realise that they were being manipulated into all voting for what the author found easiest to write. A number of copycats have arisen on multiple forums across the interweb, will they stand the test of time? Of course, there are always reactionaries, hence the "My New Creature" threads.