Fiction:Aeoneonatrix/Religion/Cleanserist Ad 1

Hey, you! Are you annoyed by the corruption and false dogmas in organized religions like Catholicism and Spodism? Are you sick of having to rationalize scientific errors in books made by civilizations who didn’t even know that there were other planets? Are you tired of worshiping something you’re not even sure exists? Have you given up on all of those things, but wish you could find a way to be religious without having to deal with myths and unverified facts? Yes? Then I have some wonderful news for you. There is a real, literal, tangible god that you don’t need a speck of faith to believe in. His name is the Cleanser.

The Cleanser’s existence has been demonstrated countless times on camera, and once you accept him into your life, you’ll be able to talk to him and actually hear back. He’ll respond to your prayers. He might even grant a few.

But wait, there’s more. Every follower of the Cleanser gets a positive afterlife. No need to risk winding up in hell. Eternal bliss is guaranteed to everyone no matter what.

Becoming a follower of the Cleanser is easy and doesn’t cost a dime, so what are you waiting for? Just close your eyes and ask the Cleanser to speak to you, then listen in amazement as he does. Don’t delay. Follow the most active, benevolent god in the entire universe. Become part of the greatest force for good that will ever exist. Just bow your head, close your eyes, and make the greatest decision you’ll make in the course of your eternal existence. Do it now!